Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Avery

Looking for the Happy

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I was given a label today. While normally that wouldn’t be a good thing, I am owning it. I was told that I am “emotionally honest”. I let that sink in for a moment after I heard it.

I am.

I don’t hide my feelings often. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I complain a little too much. And, I don’t fake feelings to make other people more comfortable. But, the truth is, being emotionally honest can make others feel really uncomfortable, and it can lead to uncomfortable situations. It can lead to heartache when others don’t understand, and it can lead to confusion when others don’t act the way you expect them to because they are not like you.

It’s not to say that my way is better.  It’s just who I am.

In fact, being emotionally honest can be difficult. It can make you vulnerable, and it can hurt others. Sometimes being emotionally honest can make you want to hide from those that you don’t feel safe being honest with. But, I think that’s OK. It’s OK to protect yourself.

I’m mulling all of that over while I think about things that have been making me happy as of late…..here are a few:

Little boys with flashlights….
P1040534

that are looking for something

Cousins playing in the green grass
Little girls that are excited for the tooth fairy to come again.

My life is good. So SO good. Yet, that doesn’t mean that I’m always happy. But, I’m honest enough to admit that. And, I’m always working on trying to be happy.

Even when it doesn’t come easy.

And, I hope that there are others out there that can recognize that seeing the happy doesn’t come naturally to all of us. It’s not just about focusing on the positive. It isn’t that simple. Some of us have to really look for it. Even when it is right in front of us. But, that doesn’t make us any less of a good person than those of you that come by it naturally and easily. And, it doesn’t make me any less grateful.

It just makes me, me. Imperfect. Not afraid to admit it. And always looking for the happy.


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Comments

  1. Cheyenne says

    August 5, 2013 at 5:30 pm

    Needed this today. Thank You.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 5, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      You’re welcome! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Best Me Forward says

    August 5, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Wow! So honest and so like me! My entire blogging journey is about figuring out how to rework my inner self in this regard. I commend you for being so open and revealing about yourself, that’s not easy to do. Please feel free to stop by and check out how I am doing with reworking my inner self 🙂

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 5, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      Done! I’m following you too now. Hope you enjoy blogging as much as I do! Can’t wait to read about your journey.

      Reply
      • Best Me Forward says

        August 6, 2013 at 9:39 am

        Thank you! I look forward to reading more about you and how good you are at faking picture perfect lol

        Reply
  3. Average But Inspired says

    August 5, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Agree with Cheyenne above me – thanks for this!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 5, 2013 at 8:53 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  4. Amber Perea says

    August 5, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    At least you look for it! No one is happy all of the time. And people that pretend that they are…are lying to themselves or the world. 🙂

    Just keep muddling through. Find the humor, the sweet moments, and the love. That is all we can do. 🙂

    Reply
  5. TraceyLynnTobin says

    August 6, 2013 at 7:41 am

    Love the pics…your kids look so sweet. 🙂

    I think it’s great that you’re “emotionally honest”, even if it does make some people feel uncomfortable. Myself, I’m the exact opposite, I keep all my feelings bottled up inside, and I can tell you that it’s not a good way to be. I’m a ball of stress 99.9% of the time! lol

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 6, 2013 at 10:25 am

      Well, I have the stress too! I just voice it constantly. Also not good.

      Reply
      • TraceyLynnTobin says

        August 6, 2013 at 10:51 am

        lol I hear ya. I don’t think there is really a happy medium in this instance. 🙂

        Reply
  6. monk-monk says

    August 6, 2013 at 7:45 am

    Reblogged this on boof & monk-monk and commented:
    I couldn’t describe my own experience more perfectly! I love how the title “Emotionally Honest” is a strong description, instead of the more negative words that I’ve heard describe us (things like ‘too direct,’ or ‘blunt’ or aggressive)

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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