I Understand. At Least Some of It.

I was in the bathroom for literally 5 seconds the other day when I hear my youngest toddling around the house yelling, “Maaaaaa Ma!  Maaaaaa Ma!” While most times I am in the bathroom taking a moment to myself, I might try to stay as quiet as possible so they don’t find me, I couldn’t help but respond, “I’m in here!”

Just two nights before, he said it for the first time. Sure, he’s said mamamaamamamama in a steady stream of babbling syllables before, but at dinner, he patted my arm, and said, “Mama!” and looked me right in the eye, smiling. My heart melted.

So, when he was so obviously looking for me while I was in the bathroom, I couldn’t help but smile and respond. Even though he found me.

He has seriously started becoming a big kid, and I keep calling him, baby. “What’s wrong baby?” when he cries, or “Come here baby, let me hold you” when he’s tired, or “Do you want something to drink baby?” when he’s begging for something. He has many nicknames. Chan. Chan Man. Chan THE Man. Bubba. But, Baby? He’s not so much a baby anymore. But, he’s MY baby. That now says mama.

He’s walking now. Started just a few weeks ago, and is perfecting the art beautifully. He likes to do standing activities now like throw something in the trash (that is a LOT of fun), sweep the floors, and play the piano. Containment is no longer his friend. He wants to go. And, he wants to do it all the time.

But, for some reason, calling me mama is the thing that makes him irresistible in this moment.

He doesn’t say much at almost 16 months old. Woof-woof is a favorite. And occasionally he will let a word slip like bath or ball that he’s said before, but never again since. But there is also a LOT of grunting going on. Pointing. Saying, “Uh. Uh?” or “Uh. Uh.” or “Uh Uh Uh Uh!!!” Somehow I always eventually figure out what he needs.

How frustrating that must be as a little one to not be able to communicate. To not be able to be understood completely. It doesn’t change as we get older. That’s what we all want isn’t it? To be understood. That’s why we fight and argue, judge each other, and blame, and do it all again even though we thought we were done with it. Because we want others to see life how we see it. But, letting go of that is hard. Because we just all want to be understood.

I’m so glad that I understand at least one thing he is saying to me right now. Because most of the time, it is a guessing game.

And, my little chuckle this week came yesterday from Kyle (no big surprise there). He turned to Avery as they were watching the Coyote and the Road Runner Looney Tunes, and said, “If I were him, I would NOT do that”.

I guess he didn’t quite understand why that Coyote kept doing the same stupid things he was doing over and over and over. That silly coyote. We can’t perfectly understand each other and why we do the things we do. The important thing is trying to let go of needing to be understood all the time, and just be happy with who WE know we are.

But, on the rare occasions when we talk long enough, are patient enough, forgiving enough, and humble enough to finally understand each other. It feels really really good. Just like hearing the word, “Maaaaa Ma!”