Because I want to be just like Amber when I grow up, I’m going to take a break. I know I said that the first time, but I really mean it this time. I need some time to think and not write where people misunderstand what is in my heart. Don’t worry, I’ll be taking notes to have plenty to talk about when I return. At least I will get some packing done, right?
Writing is an outlet for me that is near and dear to my heart. Honestly, it is a love that I cannot explain. I have felt so honored that so many of you (I have over 300 followers now!! Amazing.) have started following my blog and are so kind. I know that many of you would be my best friends if you only lived a little closer.
And, this is what I will be thinking about while I am gone. A quote from the latest message from one of our church leaders. Read the entire message here: Walking in Circles
Spiritual landmarks are indispensable for keeping us on the straight and narrow path. They give clear direction as to the way we should travel—but only if we recognize them and walk toward them.
If we refuse to be guided by these landmarks, they become meaningless, decorative masses that have no purpose but to break up the flatness of the horizon.
It’s not enough to go solely by our instincts.
It’s not enough to have the best of intentions.
It won’t do to rely only on our natural senses.
Even when we think we are following a straight spiritual path, without true landmarks to guide us—without the guidance of the Spirit—we will tend to wander.
Let us, therefore, open our eyes and see the landmarks our benevolent God has provided to His children. Let us read, hear, and apply the word of God. Let us pray with real intent and listen to and follow the promptings of the Spirit. Once we have recognized the supernal landmarks offered by our loving Heavenly Father, we should set our course by them. We should also make regular course corrections as we orient ourselves toward spiritual landmarks.
In this way, we will not wander in circles but walk with confidence and certainty toward that great heavenly blessing that is the birthright of all who walk in the straight and narrow way of Christ’s discipleship.
I don’t want to walk in circles having the same experiences over and over again and not learning from them. I feel that I have good instincts, intentions, and a sense of who I am, but I am left to question it all again. I know this:
I want to walk toward what is most important.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/inter-vivos/6733540015/
But life circumstances have happened that have made me question all of this writing of mine yet again. Course corrections are a good thing. I need to know…Is it worth it? Is it all self-serving at the expense of others? I don’t think so. But, I wonder….So, hopefully I will be back when I have gained the perspective that I so desperately need. Maybe my blog will just become a way to document my kids growing up like it used to be and nothing more. I’m not sure. I hope I can come back with a certainty towards my purpose in this whole writing thing of mine.
Keep being real. And I will still be reading your blogs. Because I love them. 🙂
Meredith
How long are you going to be gone? So sad….
Just when I was getting to know “you”! I get the purpose question. Know that by sharing your true, authentic thoughts, you help others. Ignore the haters : ). (Not that it’s authentic for me to use “haters” in a sentence…)
It helps to take a step back, truly. You will see your blog in a whole new light when you return. Less stress to achieve and back to being the fun it started out being. Can’t wait to have you back! 🙂 Hugs!
Don’t be gone for long! I just started writing and following mommy blogs, and so far yours is my favorite! I love your kids!
Don’t be gone too long! 🙂
I think of walking in circles less like being at the same place (again!) and more like climbing a mountain. Ever hiked on switchbacks where you gain a little elevation and are like “um, I’m darn sure I JUST saw this tree 30 minutes ago,” and you did, but even with a slightly ever elevation change and so while it looks almost-mostly-yes-just-like-it-was-before, there has been a shift in perspective.
I once re-read some journals and found that I had written almost the EXACT SAME THING two years in a row on the same date. I thought “crap, what’s wrong with me? why can’t I figure this out?” And then I realized that, yes I was re-visiting a similar theme, from a similar vantage point, the year I had in between had given me some new perspective and insight.
I love this comment. Yes, I think if we do embark on the same trial again, that we frequently have grown a little bit and hopefully learned something from it.
I think anyone who has blogged for a while feels this way. For me, I have just accepted the fact that my blog will probably never be more than an entertaining journal of sorts, and that’s okay for now. It’s all I can handle anyway.
Good luck! And I’ve enjoyed your comments on my blog!
Time away can be a very good thing! I will miss your posts, but I hope that your time off gives you clarity and peace of mind. 🙂
Good luck to you! Sometimes I don’t think something needs to be an end, just, as you said, a little moment to breathe, evaluate, rethink, and then, come back with whatever purpose you feel is best. I find that for me, seeing my life through snippets of moments I want to record forces me to be aware of and appreciate those moments, but, I can also see the side of it eating up time that I should be simply living. Tricky. I’m sure you’ll come back with the perfect solution for you at this stage.
I am a new reader. I have been dealing with needing to write things out, and then getting a lot of backlash. So I understand fully this need.
I just ask that it not be too long. I would like to hear more from you!!!
Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this! Hope you can find peace in your writing. That’s what I’m searching for too!
Thanks. I am. I don’t have a lot of venting avenues, it was becoming well misunderstood among “fb friends”, so I cut it off temporarily, and opened this avenue, and all the ick, even the stuff that I generally censored so as to not call anyone out, I am writing out here, and tho not much else has changed, I am feeling a bit better. It’s like the days of my teens, when I journaled feverishly. I was still upset, and had things to be upset about, but less black stuff was locked up inside. When babies arrive, hard to find time to write.
I took the pressure off too, no one I personally know, knows about the blog, it is just for me. So I can sort out being angry with someone, without being judged about it, anyone taking it out of context, and I am better, because I am not holding it in for fear of being impolite or ragey!
And I can say anything I want, and theres nothing anyone can do about it! LOL! Now that is some freedom I hadn’t imagined!
I really connect to what you are relaying about connecting back to your purpose and making sure you are doing the best for you. I frequently find that when I decide to do something I keep sticking to it and just keep going without recognizing the signs that are trying to tell me it’s time to change courses. I want to be more open to pausing and looking around to see where I am and where I should and want to be going. Need to pop my head up and get my bearings.
I selfishly hope your journey brings you back. Your words are honest and open and can share the love God has for his children if they are open to hearing it.
Happy traveling!
I know you’re not really blogging right now, but I was writing a blog post and then found this-and it was both so similar I had to send you a little note. Hope you’re enjoying your time off! When you’re back we should connect http://www.thesmallseed.com. xo
HI! I am back….but in the middle of a move, so things are sporadic. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.