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By Meredith Ethington

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Camping? OK. If I Have to.

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I realized something about my husband today. So, I really hope he reads this post.

We all know that I can be a little obsessive at times. OK, maybe a lot obsessive. When I get into something, I can go a little overboard and become a little crazy. Like, researching my kids’ allergy problems, or wondering if that lump on the side of their head is cancerous. When I was pregnant the first time I was the mom that read ALL the books. And, I worried about every horrific outcome of child labor. I wanted to start blogging, so I started 4 blogs. You get the idea.

I’ve always felt a little embarrassed about my obsessive nature around my husband. He’s so cool and laid back about everything. At least, that’s what I thought. Until I had an epiphany yesterday. He obsesses too. Just about stuff that really doesn’t make me think at all.

Like camping.

My sister is coming into town this week, and while she is here, we are going to head up to Yellowstone. Since it is far away, this will require me to do one of my least favorite activities. Camping. Amongst grizzlies.

When the idea was first presented, I basically said, “Fine if everyone else wants to” to the whole idea of camping. For me, it’s not about getting dirty, or being in nature, or having hair that smells like campfire. I don’t mind those things that much. The camping thing boils down to two things for me that cause me to hate it.

Sleeping and Peeing.

I’m not a good sleeper by nature, so put me on the ground in an uncomfortable tent, with nature chirping in my ears, and little people wiggling next to me, and forget it. And, I almost ALWAYS have to pee in the middle of the night. I do not want to unzip a tent, and hike to a bathroom at 2 am with a flashlight in order to pee. Nor do I want to squat down and pee by my campsite. Call me spoiled, or whatever, but for me, camping all comes down to those two things. That’s why the camping trip we did last year was perfect. I camped as a kid and loved it.

So, in the planning of this trip, I have been completely uninvolved. My husband, on the other hand has become obsessed. With sleeping bags, and gear, and tents, and campsites, and food, etc. etc. He asks me questions like, “Do you want to sleep in the car?” and I answer them, but as far as the planning goes? I sadly don’t care. I’m being forced to pee outside and sleep on the ground. I just want to get through it. And hopefully not get eaten alive by a grizzly.

He wants to start planning a trip like this (which is for one night) a month in advance. He asks my advice, and I reply, “I don’t care”. Because, again, I just want to get through it. I’m trying to get excited, because Yellowstone is beautiful. I just don’t want to sleep there.

I am excited to see how excited the kids will get. We all know Kyle loves to pee outside. And, I will have my precious sister and her family with me. So that will be fun. Cousins and camping create happy memories for the kids.

But, my point of this post is to prove that my husband can be obsessive too. Like calculating gas mileage and square footage of tents, and how we will boil water and stuff. I stopped listening after, “I got some firewood and….”

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My husband being manly and showing the kids how to build a campfire

I will be in charge of making sure my kids don’t drown or get eaten by a grizzly. You go ahead and be all manly and stuff with your camping gear. I will be sitting in a camping chair soaking up the campfire smoke trying to be happy so everyone else won’t think I’m no fun.

Because, I AM fun. I promise. I like the togetherness and the s’mores and the outdoors. I just don’t want to sleep and pee in it.

I am really glad he is obsessive about some things. Otherwise, if I was in charge of the trip, we’d all end up on one of those shows like, “I shouldn’t be alive”. Where I’ve always joked that I would die in the first 5 minutes. I literally think I have no survival skills.

I could maybe eat my young.


16 Comments

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Comments

  1. monk-monk says

    July 15, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    This is PRECISELY why I chose yurting or rusticy type cabins over tenting it. Although, I acutally love peeing in outside and would do it happily any chance I could. But sleeping on the ground in the dirt? No thanks!

    Have fun and take lots of pictures! Yellowstone is beautiful 🙂

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      July 15, 2013 at 5:51 pm

      Yurting was fun. Except for the 4 mile hike in snow shoes one way. And the peeing in the middle of the night in an outhouse that was a little too far away from the yurt for my liking while coyotes were howling in the distance. But, yes. Fun.

      Reply
      • monk-monk says

        July 15, 2013 at 7:41 pm

        I like to think peeing right outside my front door while camping ensures those said coyotes won’t come near…like a territory thing…right? RIGHT? 😉

        Reply
        • fakingpictureperfect says

          July 15, 2013 at 9:05 pm

          whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep good. 🙂

          Reply
  2. elizabethjaneclarke says

    July 15, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    I have never camped but am starting to feel the pressure to do so! I will be bringing Glam-ping to the fore I promise! Have FUN

    Reply
  3. bensbitterblog says

    July 15, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I’m not a big fan of camping because it sucks to pack for it and clean up for. My least favorite one of all was snow caves. One year I wanted to try it just to say I did it. I was in there with 3 other dudes and I was stuck right next to the wall of the cave and I could barely move. I am claustrophobic too, so I was dying all night long. I can’t remember a more miserable night.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      July 16, 2013 at 9:37 am

      Ha! My husband did that once. He had a very similar experience. I will NEVER sleep in a snow cave.

      Reply
      • bensbitterblog says

        July 16, 2013 at 10:40 am

        Put that on a list of things I will never do again.

        Reply
  4. Cat says

    July 16, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    This is one of my all-time favorite blog posts, ever!
    I am so with you.
    Only I would take it to the next level and say that I can’t really get all jazzed up about vacation, either. My husband loves to plan places that we will visit, while all I can focus on is that my ‘job’ is essentially the same as it is at home – make sure kids eat, sleep, and don’t seriously injure themselves. Family vacation, to me, just means I will have to do this in a strange place. Pre kids, I *loved* to travel. I loved to travel when my first was a baby. Once the second one started walking and climbing, however, it’s gone steadily downhill. Like you, I try to have fun once out there and we do have a good time. But, yeah…

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      July 16, 2013 at 8:42 pm

      Yes. Traveling of any sorts puts me in a bad mood. But, peeing and sleeping outside with three little people. Even worse than sleeping in a hotel room with them where I hear every turn and breathing noise.

      Reply
  5. Lindsey says

    July 16, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    This was actually a pretty funny post, sour-puss. IT’S GOING TO BE FUN! But I am totally down with pretending we have to go to extremes to survive our ONE NIGHT of camping and just go ahead and eat all the young. The drive home sure would be quiet.

    Reply
  6. zeudytigre says

    July 17, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Oh yes! This is it. I would love camping if it weren’t for the need to sleep on the ground and pee… wherever. We are off to ‘enjoy’ this experience next week. Family holidays 🙂

    Reply
  7. The Hook says

    July 17, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    “I could maybe eat my young.”
    Hilarious!
    My wife will NEVER go camping. Not until they figure out how to put outlets in trees, at least…

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      July 17, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      Ha! Well, I’m sure someone, somewhere is working on that. He probably works for Apple.

      Reply
  8. Michelle says

    November 17, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    Camping can be not for everybody, but the experience is never the same each time you go out in the outdoor especially if you are with the people close to you. Make most of the opportunity. Cheers!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Heaven on Earth | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    July 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    […] not have to get up in the middle of the night to pee. So, all in all, it wasn’t horrible like I thought it would be. It helped that the night before camping I got some ridiculous 24-hr. bug and was up all night […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

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