Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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I’m Teaching a Lesson in Church. Can You Help?

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Photo courtesy of Morgufile.com

So, I have soo many thoughts swirling around in my head today. I’ve written 15 blog posts just since this morning. Including the one about how I hate going to Children’s museums. (hmmm. Bet you can guess what I did this morning with the kids) I don’t have time to write any of them. How convenient right? Just like I didn’t have time to do that gratitude journal and be happy in 21 days. I promise, I’m still going to do that. One day. 

For those of you that don’t know much about Mormons, let me tell ya. We sometimes have to teach lessons in church. We sometimes have to speak to the entire congregation, too. Sometimes we do this at a VERY young age. I do not have any certification or degree or ecclesiastical experience in religion per say (aside from being a member for many many years), but that’s how we roll. We teach each other. We are supposed to rely on lesson manuals, and scriptures, and church leaders in order to teach each other. So, for the most part, the teaching is in tune with religious doctrine we believe in. But, sometimes, let’s be honest, you get a lesson where you are sitting there thinking, “This is so not what I think!!” or whatever. But, those lessons are rare. The thing is, we are learning from each other. And, I have learned so much from such a diverse group of people (aside from the fact that they are all Mormon, which is not very diverse) I like this format much better than having a single person teach me every week because he’s the “preacher”. No offense to other religions and how they do it.

I like this format, that is, until I have to do it. 

This Sunday, I’m teaching a lesson to the women ages 18 and up on Loving Ourselves. I have no manual to go by (although I have a great deal of resources…don’t get me wrong) and I just have to focus on that this afternoon instead of this blog that has become a downright obsession of mine. The problem is, I came up with the idea for the lesson. And, I think it was a subconscious move to teach myself something. So, now I have to go do it. And, hopefully learn to love myself a little bit more. Because we all know that it never hurts to be kind to yourself. But, LOVING? That’s a little harder. I know what love is. But, loving myself is a daily struggle. 

So, here’s how you can help if you want to. With one question:

What do YOU do to love yourself? I really want to know. 

-Meredith


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Comments

  1. donofalltrades says

    March 1, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    Lol. I don’t know you well enough to
    answer this as i want too, but Mormons sound interesting.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 1, 2013 at 5:08 pm

      we are very interesting indeed. 🙂

      Reply
      • donofalltrades says

        March 1, 2013 at 6:11 pm

        Your kiDs are precious. Talk about how you hope at 18 they’ll all love themselves as they do now. Gold.

        Reply
  2. Blalock says

    March 1, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Parker,
    For me, if I can open up a can of whoop *+- against my weaknesses, overcome some, and move on to the next one to beat down, then that makes me happy. I love myself more because I feel better about what I accomplished for myself spiritually and how it will affect the way I am with the family. Also, the more patient I am with life and everything therein, I find myself happier and more excited about helping others feel the same. I really love helping people, but if I can’t love myself first, how can I influence the void in my own soul? Just a thought.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 1, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      Love it Mikey. Thanks for reading this little ole blog of mine too! 🙂

      Reply
  3. miamamma35 says

    March 1, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    The one thing I’ve been really trying to do lately is forgive myself more often. This is hard for me. If I make any kind of mistake, I tend to berate and chastise myself over and over and I’m only now realizing that I don’t have to do that anymore. That I can accept that I messed up, or didn’t handle a situation perfectly, make a promise to try better next time and move on. I used to think that others wouldn’t think I was really “sorry” if I didn’t crucify myself openly and grovel and apologize until the cows came home….now I realize how unnecessary that is–that I’m a flawed human will mess up from time to time and to RELAX about it…..I don’t judge others so harshly, so why do it to myself????

    Good Luck with your lesson. I love how you’ve asked for help from others….and I hope you’ll blog about how it went after it’s done:)

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 1, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      I am the exact same way. No surprise since we are basically the same person. 😉 But, seriously, that is the biggest challenge for me is to overcome the negative voice in my own head!

      Reply
  4. jill says

    March 1, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    Take captive your thoughts. That line from the Bible sticks with me even though I no longer go to church. Negative thoughts can spiral out of control, and totally affect our attitudes towards ourselves and every part of our life.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 1, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      Love that!

      Reply
  5. motherhoodisanart says

    March 2, 2013 at 8:29 am

    I think just being true to yourself and not changing to please others (unless of course what you’re doing is morally wrong!) My brother converted to the LDS church in his early 20’s and has been a member for over 20 years. He really loves and I think it is amazing how much time the members contribute to the church!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 2, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      I agree. It is hard to do in this day and age. And when you are on the internet so much, it is especially hard not to try and be what others want you to be!

      Reply
  6. Ashley Austrew says

    March 2, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    This might be kind of a weird one, but one way I show love to myself is too work hard to avoid comparing myself to others. It’s so easy on social media–and especially on Pinterest–to see things and get into a mindset where you’re comparing yourself to other people and putting yourself down. I made sort of a self-promise to not pay attention to anything that promotes unhealthy body image or makes me feel bad about myself. It’s not that I want to delude myself into thinking I’m so awesome or whatever. I just feel like, even when you want to make improvements to yourself, you have to remember nothing good ever came from shame, guilt, or hate.

    Reply
  7. Rayna Drago says

    March 3, 2013 at 6:39 am

    You should know my answer…run 26.2 miles! 😉 Or at least doing the training for a race. It makes me feel alive and for the few hours I get to be alone with the road and the scenery makes me forget about what is going on in my life. I feel so free and appreciative for being able to do the things I do and when I am done, I just feel really great about myself. The rest of the day…eh…not so much…but at least for a little while I love who I am. 🙂

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 3, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      I love it. Well, not literally, because I’ve told you I hate running, but it’s the perfect answer. Do something you love. 🙂

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

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So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
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I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

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But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

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