Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Be Brave Guest Post Series Family Motherhood Parenting

Leading with a Brave Heart

  • Share
  • Tweet

This post today made me cry. Maybe I’m hormonal, or maybe I can just relate to watching your child feel truly, genuinely sad. Kerry has been a long-time blogger friend of mine, and she and her family went through a trial in their life recently that I’m sure changed them forever. She shares about how she had to be brave when her child was feeling sad. How many times have we had to hide our own sadness to be strong for our children? Make sure when you are done reading her post that you stop by her awesome blog, Winding Road. She shares all kinds of amazing ideas and thoughts on living a more meaningful life, and her posts are always thought-provoking. If you want to be part of my Be Brave Guest Post Series, go here.

****************

The realization finally hit my daughter, one month after the flood, that we were not going back home. The night before the flood, everything was status quo. We put them to bed and bid them sweet dreams. Then at 4:30am, we scooped them out of bed in the dark and waded through knee-deep water in the pouring rain to our flooded van that drove to their grandmother’s house only minutes away. That was the last time they were inside their home. And she wanted to go back and could not understand why we were not. Up until that moment, sitting at the dining room table one month later, I think she thought it all a big adventure and something exciting to tell her friends. She did not realize what it all meant, until something clicked in her mind as her father and I continued our daily conversation of housing options.

Her fork went down and the sobs began, real sobs, take your breath away sobs; tears that reflected such deep sadness and pain. She was experiencing what I had felt many times over the last few weeks and I knew how painful it was. Yet, the pain came rushing back to me again in a torrent watching it happen to my young child. I could feel the pain begin again inside of me because I wanted to give her everything she needed, to say we would go back and all would be as it should. I wanted to cradle her innocence and shield her from the devastation. I wanted her life to continue to be pristine with a home she could spend her whole childhood and keep the memories close.

But I could not lie; I could not make it all better. I had to be honest, but more importantly, I had to allow her to feel her sadness fully because feeling it is the only way we can truly move forward. I did not say much other than, “it is going to be okay. It is okay to feel sad but our home is where our family is”. I needed her to know that this was not something we were taking away from her so I told her, “I have cried about this many times, babe. I don’t want this either. It’s not fair” A light bulb look came across her eyes in realization that even mommy gets sad and this is something even mommy can’t fix.

My son had a hard time in the first couple of weeks. He is almost three and was most stricken by his routines being turned upside down. He said many times in the first few days that he wanted to go home, asked if our house was still wet, told me to go clean it. He misbehaved and lashed out. It was painful to watch him suffer because he could not understand any of it. But he quickly adjusted and rarely asks about our “wet house” anymore.

I kept those tears inside that night at the dinner table though because even though I told her I had them, if I let them out again, they would come in a storm of sobs and that is not what she needed. She needed to know that her parents are taking care of things, that we are solid, that we are sad but not broken and all will be okay. Because it will. I can be brave for my children because I can feel their pain. I understand their hurts and have felt them deeply myself. I can be brave because I know that I can cry later but in the moments with them, I have to guide them and be their support because they depend on me.

The next day, I ordered two children’s books about moving to a new home. One was perfect because it was about a badger family who moved because their home had leaks. When the books arrived, my daughter was eager to hear the stories. We read them at bedtime and when they were finished, she asked excitedly, “When do we move into our new house?”

Children are so very resilient. So many wonderful lessons can be learned from a child. They feel their emotions completely but they do not dwell on them. They move forward because they have their parents to lead them in a healthy direction. They trust us and feel secure that we know what we are doing. Empathy and trust help me to be brave; to plow forward knowing that all will be okay because my children teach me courage in their resilience. My job is to lead them and I will do so with a brave heart for nothing is more important than guiding them on the right path to follow.

************

unnamed


7 Comments

« Easy One Pan Jambalaya
Parenting Milestone #21. When Your Child Says, I Hate You »

Comments

  1. Kelly says

    July 19, 2014 at 7:38 am

    You are an amazing momma, Kerry. This story touched me. It is so hard keeping it together when our children are experiencing such raw emotion, emotion we know well. But you are right…children are resilient, and so are their parents.

    Reply
    • Kerry says

      July 19, 2014 at 9:08 am

      Thank you Kelly, they really are and they inspire me. xo

      Reply
  2. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? says

    July 19, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Okay, totally gave me weepy eyes – it’s not always easy to be brave for our children, especially in times of trial – what a beautiful story Kerry!

    Reply
    • Kerry says

      July 20, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Thank you Kate. She is good now and settled into our new house…rarely brings up our old house.

      Reply
  3. Paige says

    July 19, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    “So many wonderful lessons can be learned from a child. They feel their emotions completely but they do not dwell on them. They move forward because they have their parents to lead them in a healthy direction.”
    I love this so much! Thank you for sharing your story. Its wonderful how being strong for your children can, in return, fill your reserves with strength as well

    Reply
    • Kerry says

      July 20, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      Thank you, it is true. We teach them and learn so much along the way.

      Reply
  4. Brittany says

    July 24, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    Meredith,

    I’m so excited to hear from Kerry on your blog– two of my favorites all together!

    Kerry, I can’t imagine what that must have been like. How sad! You’re a brave mama and your kids are lucky to have you!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
Load More Follow on Instagram

You might also like

The Greatest Gift Is To Watch Your Child Leave You

Mom holding baby in nursery and yawning

When Does Parenting Get Less Exhausting? Newsflash – Never.

Dad holding tired girl after trick or treating during Halloween in the 80's

Halloween in The 80’s Was the Best Ever

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Copyright © 2025 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2025 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in