No One Cares, But I Will Write This Anyway

So, remember that post about how I hate awards like the Liebster? I’m a brat, I know.

So, I got another award yesterday, I think it was called the “abc award”. Or something.

Now, before I list 26 random things about me that you probably do not care about, I am just going to say that I’m sorry that I don’t participate in these things often. In fact, when I see them pop up in my reader, I tend to feel intense amounts of guilt. Remember my post the other day about the less guilt mama. Well, blogger guilt is real, people and something that I have from time to time, because even though I don’t typically accept these awards in the true spirit they were given, I do want you to know that I have a heart. And, if you keep insisting that I tell you useless crap that you will forget about me tomorrow, I will. Starting now.

I played the clarinet for 7 years, and the piano for 7 years, but now I can’t play either one.

I frequently become obsessed with something, sometimes for years at a time. One thing I cannot get enough of are those silly ecards. I LOVE Them. I mean, love. I even went so far as to making my own. Did you know you can do that? Well, you can, and I did. And, I just realized it got pinned 272 times on Pinterest. I’m famous. Here it is:

I won a writing award in elementary school. When I read the story back, though, it sounds eerily similar to the story of Cinderella, which makes me wonder about the judges. My prize was a thesaurus. Joy. Just what every 5th grader wants.

I also invented something. It was called the bumper stumper. I won $50 dollars in the invention contest. It was a pad to put around the bottom of furniture so  you don’t stub your toe. I was a genius.

My mom was on the price is right when I was 16. It was exciting and mortifying all at the same time. Luckily, that same day, I had ran the family car into a telephone pole damaging the whole driver’s side, but since my mom had won a bumper pool table on the Price is Right, my parents didn’t really care. So, that was good.

I am addicted to real-life crime shows. I love them. Dateline is probably my favorite. But, I can also watch a trial on CNN and be totally enthralled. The Casey Anthony trial pretty much ruined my life for several months because I became so obsessed. I was interested in forensic psychology for a while, but ultimately decided against it when I decided that I wanted to be a mom more. I figured it might be hard to talk to psychopaths all day and then be a mom. Yet, the training might have come in useful now that I think about it.

I am also addicted to diet coke or coke zero.

I have lived in 5 states in my life, and moved about 22 times in my life. So far.

I have watched the Sound of Music countless times. I cannot get sick of it.

I failed out of a year of college at Texas A & M. I believe this directly correlates to having a dirtbag boyfriend in another city at the time who, despite everyone telling me to break up with him, I stayed with for way too long. I recently googled his name and arrested after it, and sure enough, he’s been arrested. Twice. Lovely.

I speak fluent Spanish thanks to an LDS mission. Which means that I took a year and a half of my life, wore church clothes everyday, talked to complete strangers in the Spanish language (after 10 weeks of learning it) all day long every day about my religion, didn’t talk to my family (except for letters and a phone call on Mother’s Day and Christmas), watch TV, or listen to the radio the entire time , and fell in love with the latino culture. I thought for sure I would marry some dark skinned latino boy, but instead I married a tall, white red-head. Weird.

I wear jeans and a t-shirt almost everyday. If I want to get dressed up, I put on a nicer shirt.

I caught the most fish on my 5th grade camping trip. I still love fishing, but never go. My last trip to Texas was fun to watch my kids fish in the same spot I did growing up.

And, speaking of Texas, I don’t eat beef. I haven’t since watching Food Inc. a couple of years ago. I’m lucky my Dad (who is a true Texas republican through and through) hasn’t disowned me because of it.

Nothing makes me more upset in this whole world than oblivious people. I cannot stand the audacity of someone that is totally oblivious to their surroundings or other people. It makes me seriously angry. Therefore, I have a bit of road rage from time to time.

I grew up watching lots of football with my Dad, and watch from time to time, but only when the Cowboys are playing.

If I ever go back to school, I think I would go to law school. What I would do with a law degree, I have no idea.

I once sang at someone’s wedding. I am NOT a good singer. Luckily, my sister Lindsey is. And we sang a duet. Love can build a bridge. The last time I will probably ever sing a country song.

Wow. I’m starting to bore myself. So, I will stop.

Thanks to my blogging besties (another fact-I frequently use terms inappropriate for my age), Amber, Don, and Michelle. You guys are always so nice to nominate me even though I never return the favor. If you are not following them already, you really really should. For one, their blogs are fantastic, and they blog a lot, and they are funny, honest, and smart. What more are you looking for in a blog, really? OH, and they like to leave lots of comments, which is always a bonus. And, to all those other people out there that have nominated me from time to time. Thank you! But, this is probably as good as it’s going to get. Because this is really boring to read a bunch of random facts about someone, isn’t it? OK, maybe it’s just boring for me to write it.

And, another blogger that I just started following is Alicia Benton. She’s funny, and imperfect. So, of course, I love her blog so far. But, she inspired me today by her post about weird people searching for stuff on the internet. Remember my post like that? Well, hers (why does that word look weird?) is so funny. And, as we were talking, I decided that I would start a new tradition on my blog (when I can remember to do it…I’m frequently bad at traditions), and share the best search engine term of the day on each post. Don’t you love it? Because I’m addicted to seeing what brings those creepy people to my site. Almost as much as I’m addicted to ecards.

Today’s best search engine term is….drum roll please…..”help me sleep through the night after an affair”.

You’re welcome.