Every kid gets made fun of at some point in their life, right? I know I did. But, now that I’m a Mom, I want to protect my kids from ever feeling the pain of rejection. Ever feeling sad about who they are. I want them to never feel like an outcast, or like they don’t matter. Bullying has been getting a lot of attention lately, and in my mind, rightfully so.
My children haven’t ever been bullied. Yet. But, I believe, that as cruel as the world is, it is bound to happen at some point. I can try doing everything in my power to love them, but sometimes that is not enough. And, in this cyber world we live in, it’s so easy to look at someone and judge them instead of love them. I have learned this as an adult. I have been judged for just being myself. As a 36-year-old mother of three, I’m still being judged and talked about. But, when we bring kids into the mix, it’s a whole different story. Because children should be off limits from our scrutiny.
I’m still thinking about the 12 year old who jumped from a water tower in September because of two “mean” girls. Twelve years old. Her Mom had moved her to a different school, she tried to be on top of things, she loved her daughter and many people were aware of the bullying, but it didn’t stop, until she made sure that she couldn’t be the target of their abuse anymore. By taking her own life. At age 12.
It’s so mind blowing to me. And, just when I think I’ve heard it all, I hear about a Facebook group that parents started to make fun of “ugly” kids. Some of which were handicapped. Some were babies. Yes, you heard me right. BABIES. They would steal pictures off people’s Facebook pages and then re-post them into their private group so that they could make fun of them. Calling toddlers and babies horrible, horrible things. For what? A laugh?
These are PARENTS saying these horrible things. And, we wonder why the bullying won’t stop. We wonder why “mean girls” still exist. It’s because mean parents exist.
It baffles me that a parent can say such horrible things about another child. Doesn’t that child deserve love as much as the next one? Have we forgotten that we are all God’s children. Equal. Deserving of Love. No matter what our weaknesses are inside or out. Can you not look into the face of your own child and see that they are innocent and perfect just the way they are? Well, isn’t someone else’s child just as important?
And, the thing is, I’ve heard things fall from the lips of my own mouth that I’m ashamed of. Mostly from my teenage years. No one is perfect. I get that. But, we should at least try to strive for perfection in front of our children in one area: Kindness.
Being kind means you don’t call anyone names to make yourself feel better.
Being kind means you try to love someone even when it’s difficult.
Being kind means you empathize with someone in their struggles.
Being kind means that you remind yourself that you are no better than someone else. Period.
Being kind means that you respect differences instead of judging others for them.
Being kind means that you reach out to someone when it is uncomfortable.
Being kind means that you are just plain nice.
Have we forgotten such simple principles? Let me tell you, your child is always watching you. You call someone fat…they hear it. You judge someone’s appearance one day….they take note. You laugh at the expense of someone else…they see it. You obsess over a brand name and give importance to it…..they want it.
To those parents that created the online FB group to make fun of other children: Shame. On. You. Your kids are watching. Maybe they won’t see it today, but it’s out there. Newsflash: YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
That is so terrible. I can’t believe anyone would even do that. Those people make me bitter.
AMEN! I had not heard about that Facebook group until your post, but that is ABHORRENT! HOW HOW HOW could anyone do anything like that. I know that I have a hard enough time remembering to have positive SELF tlak around my daughter (who is still only 15 months old) so that she does not start thinking that there is something wrong with how she looks or anything as she gets older. I too worry so much about bullying. I think about the ways that I was bullied as a child…and how I have even been cyber bullied as an adult. Understanding the pain and fear that it brought me then (and now) I just hope that I can find a way to teach my daughter that mean girls exist but she does not have to worry about them and that her self esteem has to come from within her. However, you are so right – they exist because parents exist and we all, as moms, as dads, as parents…have to REALLY do something to change society becuase no one should be bullied EVER. Life is too short and too hard…and there is no reason that it should be made harder. Thank you for your thoughtful and enlightening post.
Thanks for your comment. I’ve been bullied as an adult too. It’s horrible as a kid, and as an adult, but the adults know better…so that’s where it has to start in order for things to change!! Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to share. 🙂
Despicable for that group to have existed. People are cruel and teaching our children how to deal with them is a challenge….teaching how to be kind,loving and tolerant when others can be so awful. But such an important lesson.
Great post 🙂 The thought of anyone bullying my son or making fun of him makes me so mad and sad. I know that he will experience disappointment and hurt in life, but I wish I could protect him from it all forever. Those parents making fun of other kids and/or other people in general are the problem because their kids will grow up thinking it is OK. Teaching my child to be kind is so important to me. I’m going to keep that section of your post!
great post….omg….I hope I never meet anyone like this cuz I would seriously punch them in the throat. I was bullied at times in my life, though I didn’t notice it as that cuz I had such low self-esteem I thought I deserved it. As an adult I’ve been fortunate enough to be around positive people who lift me (and everyone around them) up, and who would never, ever belittle anyone else for any reason. I remember those feelings, and it breaks my heart that any child or adult would ever have to feel that.
Yeah, it’s pretty unbelievable that adults would stoop so low!
I can honestly say I have never heard of this and can’t even begin to wrap my head around ‘why’…??? What’s wrong with the world when children are being made fun of by adults. Disgusting.
While reading your post this stuck out to me: “You call someone fat…they hear it. You judge someone’s appearance one day….they take note. You laugh at the expense of someone else…they see it. You obsess over a brand name and give importance to it…..they want it.”
Just a good reminder for all that ‘they ARE watching’ even when you don’t feel you’re doing something ‘wrong’; check in with yourself and make sure the behaviour you’re modelling is what you want to impress on your children 🙂
Exactly! I have heard parents I know model bad behavior like this. Of course, we ALL do in some form or another, but there are key words and feelings we can pass on to our children that I think are more prone to making them think bullying and making fun of others is OK. Thanks for your comment! 🙂
Wow! Unbelievable! My oldest son has been bullied ever since kindergarten, bullied by the school staff. Bullied because he was more anglophone than francophone attending an all French school. Instead of giving my son the french meaning to a word that he only knew in English he would be made fun of in front of his classmates and than punished.
He has always been a very compassionate, mindful loving boy so he has always been an easy target for bullies. As easy as it would of been for me to raise him with the concept of “an eye for an eye”, I did the opposite. I teach my children that the kids who are the meanest are the ones who actually need love, to treat them with kindness. Some may say that treating them with kindness is being weak, I say treating others with kindness is something that shows strenght. The strength to over come hatred, vengeance and most of all to over come sinking to the “bully’s level.
My youngest son came home from preschool one day with the idea that if he was white like us ( mom,dad, big bro) than we could be a real family. This idea of being a family came from one of the kids in his class heard his parents talk about at home.
I explained to my youngest that “Love is Love” instead of putting down his friends parents I apologized for their ignorance instead. Children who are bullies unless have a positive influence in their lives, grow up to raise more bullies. Sad, but true!