As much as I want to go on and on about letting ourselves just “be” human instead of beating ourselves up all the time, and putting so much pressure on ourselves to wear cute clothes to the grocery store, the absolute truth is we have little tiny humans running the show. Tiny humans that don’t allow big humans (their parents) to just “be” all the time. I want to be a human being that gets to just “be” but the problem is that I’m now a human being that is in charge of raising little tiny human beings to be decent human beings, and that doesn’t always allow me to “be”.
Here are some examples of things humans are supposed to do, but aren’t allowed to when they become parents.
Sleep.
Eat Hot Food.
Go to the bathroom in private.
Shower in private.
Do anything in private.
Keep cars clean.
Have a cute pillow that doesn’t have something drawn, drooled, or smeared on it.
Brush teeth.
Think clearly.
Have a conversation with another human without being interrupted.
Be allowed a sick day.
Have a selfish thought and act on it.
Be punctual.
Walk without stepping on, or tripping over objects.
Have your own space.
Have your own air space.
Have a clean space.
Have silence.
Have non-stinky air to breathe.
Eat food without sharing.
You get the idea….do I need to go on? If you are accomplishing 3 or more of the above things listed, please tell me your secret. Because I wore sweatpants out of my house again today. That’s a pattern, people. And, I’m starting to get worried.
Good thing I love those tiny little humans that run the show. Because, I’m pretty sure I’ve realized that being a mom to young children pretty much means that you are denied your basic human rights. And, somebody should do something about that.
Oh. My. You should check out my post today….same wavelength!!
My particular favourite memory was eating dinner. By myself. On the filthy, dog hair encrusted back steps. If you’re like me you won’t have much “me time” until they head off to college…
Oh gosh, I almost snorted my tea out my nose at that picture. I”m pretty sure my kids have the same discussion!
Yes. I frequently am paranoid they are conspiring against me. 😉
Pee? In private? Heck some days it would be nice if my husband didn’t decide to come talk to me while Im on the toilet.
Love my little monkey but we have regular discussions on Mummy is eating so kindly leave me alone. Mummy taking a nap is clearly the BEST time to have a screaming fit at Daddy and to sound like you are demolishing the living room.
Gotta love the little humans… biology makes me do it.
Ha! Yes. I’m lucky my husband knows better than to bug me!!
I can’t read the left side because your cute b&w stripes are hiding the text!
Mom, Widen your screen/browser and you should be able to see everything just fine.
Oh man that list is GREAT. I particularly love the keeping cars clean one. I afmit it, I used to judge people with filthy car interiors. I SO get it now. But if I’m to choose between kid whining + clean car AND kid happy with food + dirty car, I’d take the dirt every time. Too much whining and I might hand the kid back and that wouldn’t look good.
Yes!! For sure.
These are hilarious and spot on. I just wrote a post called why moms in great company are still lonely. Because they cant finish a sentence! Thats the one on the top of my list currently!
So true!