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By Meredith Ethington

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Anxiety In the Motherhood kid ideas Motherhood Parenting

10 Ways to Help Your Kids Have A Worry-Free Childhood

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One of the things I want most for my kids is for them to have a carefree life. I’m not a super carefree person, so sometimes, my own insecurities, worries, and anxiety hovers like a dark cloud over my mothering. But, I don’t want my kids to feel that, so I came up with these:

10 Simple Ways You Can Help Your Kids Have a Worry-Free Childhood

10-ways-to-help-your-kids-have-a-worry-free-childhood

1. No fighting in front of them with the husband. Wow. That’s H-A-R-D. Like it feels impossibly hard in this little tiny house where we hear everything. But, I did not grow up in a house like that. You know, where fighting goes on behind closed doors, and so I worried about way more than I should have as a kid. I’m working on this one. And, it’s a one day at a time sort of goal of mine.

2. Don’t talk about money. I think it’s important to talk to your kids about money in a kid type way. Like, teaching them about saving and teaching them about how we don’t always get everything we want. I also think it’s important to teach them about being blessed with material possessions, etc. But, if you talk about it too much you end up with a 5 year old that is worrying about whether or not your can pay your electricity bill. They (the little people) are ALWAYS listening. So, try to keep your stress and issues with money quiet in front of your kids.

3. Let them get messy. Gak, Playdough, and float are all things that are not really my favorite.  I don’t like messy children. I confess to not letting them paint because it bugs me. But, I need to let go of this. I’m trying. In fact, there are currently four colors of Gak sitting on my kitchen table right now. Deep breaths. But, letting kids explore sensory play is a big part of having fun for them. This is a great idea to let them just be kids.

4. Be Late. I hate being late, so I find this one really hard. If I tell someone I will be at a playdate at 11:30. I go crazy trying to make that happen. But, sometimes, kids just take their time don’t they? My children seem to be impossibly slow. In fact, I feel like I spend half my time as a mom yelling at my kids to hurry up about one thing or another. When, if I could just be late sometimes, my kids might have more fun being kids. You know, the kind of kid that takes 20 minutes to put on his left sock. That’s how they learn, and being late is sometimes okay.

5. Be Silly. I have to say, that I am REALLY good at this when I’m in the mood. But, I need to be in the mood more often. My kids love it when I make up a song, or say something silly like we are having frog legs for dinner, or that they have a peek-a-boo bum. That one really gets them. Anyway, I need to do it more, because kids like to laugh. Especially mine. And, laughing is what being a kid should be all about.

6. Let them roam outside. This one is a little bit harder because we worry so much about safety in this day and age. However, you can allow this to a degree. Allow your children safe places to roam and explore, and lots of time outside. Some of my happiest memories come from playing outside with my friends.

7. Let bedtime slide every once in a while. I am guilty of not letting my kids stay up past their bedtime very often, but some of the happiest childhood memories can be made when kids are allowed to break the rules with mom and dad. Consider letting it go every once in a while to have a movie night, or special treat after bed time.

8. Remind them often how much you love them. Kids that feel loved will feel safe. And kids that feel safe will worry less. I’ve seen this in my own kids over and over again.

9. Remind them how much you love each other. When you can shield your kids from (most) of your marriage problems, and make an effort to be affectionate in front of them, they will feel more secure and less worried about the future.

10. Reassure them often and talk about their fears. We can’t control everything our kids think and feel, and some kids are naturally more worrisome than others. It’s our job as parents to reassure them often. I think the best way to do that is to talk to them about their fears so that they have a safe place to vent their concerns, and you can help them problem solve and deal with their worries. Sometimes, they hear about things at school, and it’s important to bring up sensitive subjects at home where they can ask all the questions they want and have their fears put to rest.

I want my little munchkins to be happy as kids and so much of that is providing a worry-free home environment. What do you think parents need to do to make sure kids can be kids?


4 Comments

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Comments

  1. homeinawoods says

    January 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    This post really hit home for me! Thanks for sharing it.

    Reply
  2. Eliza says

    January 5, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    very sweet. I need to work on all of these things too. my favorite is being silly with the kids–because we all love it and it makes all of us happy! with just a little extra effort on my part. (since it takes no effort for the kids to be silly.)

    Reply

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  1. You will break your arm!! and a resolution | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    January 6, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    […] my post from the other day about Letting Kids Be Kids? Well, my kids were watching Mary Poppins for the first time today and you know the part where the […]

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  2. The No Resolutions Resolution | Perfection Pending says:
    January 3, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    […] year ago today, I wrote the post, Letting Kids Be Kids. An entire year has passed since that post. Yet, it feels like I wrote it yesterday. And, a LOT has […]

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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