Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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10 Things I’ve Learned from Having 7 Blogs in 6 Years.

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I started my very first blog in November of 2007. It was the cool thing to do then. I had just had my first kid the year before. I would be a mommy blogger like the rest of the world.

6 years, and switching blogs 7 different times, I’m still learning. Yes, you heard me right. I have had 7 blogs in that time!  My poor parents are so confused. This month, I officially bought a domain name, and finally feel good about the choices I’m making. I feel comfortable in my own blogging skin I guess you could say.

After 6 years, I have learned some things. And, I’ve made tons of mistakes along the way. I’m still making them. Just this month, I accidentally sent 116 emails to my email subscribers all within a matter of seconds. EMBARRASSING! My poor parents and friends who have been following me for 6 years have been on a journey too. But, the good news is, you can learn from my mistakes:

10 Things to Consider Before Starting A Blog

1. Think long term. This was my biggest mistake. There was actually no way of knowing that I would love writing as much as I do until I started doing it. So, for that, I can’t really blame myself. But, I didn’t think about my blog and what it would be like 6 years from when I started. For one, I have two more children. For two, I want to write about  more than just my kids. So, just counting on a family blog to do the trick wasn’t the right choice for me.

2. A catchy blog name isn’t everything. One mistake I made was to think that every idea that popped into my head would be amazing! And, people would just love me, and follow me, and I would be the next blogging sensation because I thought of this great blog name. (OK I didn’t totally think that) Wrong! A blog does not become a success overnight. And, honestly the name of the blog has little to do with the success. I had an idea to start a scrapbooking blog about the same time I started a food blog. Both of those bit the dust rather quickly. Why? Because it is a LOT of work to build an audience and it never, ever happens overnight. Even if you have a post go viral for a couple of days, hanging onto those new visitors is not a piece of cake.

3. Don’t run multiple blogs at once-instead, make your one blog all encompassing. At one point, four of the seven blogs I had were going on at the same time. Ummm. Talk about insane! There was no possible way I could grow any one of them successfully unless I neglected the other three. Now, I’ve realized that my one blog can have it all. If I want to blog about food, I can do it here. If I want to blog about scrapbooking, or my kids’ allergies, or how mad I am that my toddler didn’t sleep last night, I can do it here. Everything can be in one place. We are complex people, and our blogs can be about more than one thing.

4. Do your homework. SO, I started out at blogger. It was good for the first couple of years, then I started thinking I wanted to do more with my blogging. Go public. Maybe earn a living by blogging? I saw plenty of other bloggers doing it, so why not me? I heard wordpress was better (although I didn’t exactly know why) and so I switched my blog over there in January of this year. I had no clue there was a wordpress.com vs. wordpress.org self-hosted blogs. I hadn’t done any homework about wordpress. And, while the wordpress.com community is AMAZING. I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do over there. Like put ads on my blog if I decided to. But, the community was awesome, so I stayed. But, once I realized my vision for my blog, I realized I wanted more control. So, here I am. I wish I would have gotten here a lot faster, because in a way I’m starting over again. All I needed to do was my homework. There are PLENTY of articles on the subject of blogging.

5. Figure out your purpose early. What is your goal? What do you want to do with your blog? Make money? Write for fun? Make friends? Be part of a community? By answering some of those questions first, you will save yourself some time. Figure out what the goal is, and then you will know where to start.

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Where the magic happens. Or the blogging, at least.

6. Prepare yourself for Criticism. For the most part, I haven’t had anything too ugly said to me by strangers. There was one nasty comment that made me want to throw up one day that I promptly flagged as spam, (although I believe it was something more sinister), but what I wasn’t prepared for were the comments from friends and family. You know, real-life people. Opening yourself up takes courage. Even people who think they know you might hear and read things that changes their opinion of you. Be prepared to defend yourself, or develop a thick skin and let the criticism not affect you too deeply. People may not EVER get your point. I almost stopped writing because of an experience I had, but now I’m so glad I went through it, because I learned a lot about myself and why I write.

7. Protect yourself and Your Kids. One reason why I switched (again) was because I suddenly realized not everyone visiting my blog was a friend. Some people were downright creepy based on the search terms I saw come up. I had people clicking on pictures of my kids. Multiple times. I had one photo stolen from me. In making my blog more public, I decided over time, that it just wasn’t for me to have strangers clicking on my kids photos over and over. Deciding how comfortable you are with sharing your kids’ information is a step you should definitely consider before blogging publicly. Pay attention to what brings people to your blog. I now have a private blog for family only to share pictures of my kiddos.

8. Measure Your Success in a way that is appropriate for you.  Don’t compare yourself to others. Maybe that blogger that has 400K views a day and makes money blogging spends 80 hours a week running her blog. If you want to do that, then great! That takes a lot of commitment. But, if you aren’t willing to do that kind of work, then maybe you shouldn’t use that blogger as an example. Find a way to measure your own success that fits you.

9. Ask Other Bloggers for Help. I have realized that asking another blogger what they are doing or how they are doing it is such a good resource. They are usually ALWAYS willing to share their tips.

10. Find your voice and keep it. Last, the thing that will make people come back is because they love your writing voice. Find it, and don’t lose it. Stay true to who you are.

I’m no expert, and I don’t have a million followers, but it doesn’t matter. Because, I’m happy in my blogging skin, no matter what happens.


19 Comments

« Chevron Peer Pressure. Don’t Give In.
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Comments

  1. myfabulouschaos says

    October 17, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    I loved what you wrote! I have really just begun blogging even though I have had my website for over a yr! Yes, a year! I am grateful I found your post and plan on following your hints! Could I email you a few questions? Like how did you get the pictures in the middle of your post? And what about posting about your kids? I would love you to check out my blog and tell me what you think! myfabulouschaos.com and by the way, I LOVE your blog name! LOVE IT!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 17, 2013 at 3:51 pm

      Sure! My email is in my about me page.

      Reply
  2. Emily says

    October 17, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Yay! Love it. You have learned many important things over the years!

    Reply
  3. bensbitterblog says

    October 17, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    Very good advice. I have a lot of tips after it taking me so long to get it where it is today. I’m glad it only took 7 times for you to get your groove.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer Kennedy says

    October 18, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    Wow! I thought I was the only one in the history of blogging who has created multiple blogs!!!! Ha. I’ve tried everything — and nothing really stuck.

    When I was flip-flopping, I kept asking myself what was wrong with me, and now I realize it was a necessary journey to get to where I am.

    So, thank you for the encouragement and lessons learned!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 18, 2013 at 4:18 pm

      Yes flip-flopping can be SO frustrating. But, I guess it is necessary for some of us. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Frantic Mama says

    October 18, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    I love your new blog name :).

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 18, 2013 at 4:18 pm

      Thank you! I’m happy with it too. Feels a little more positive!

      Reply
  6. Stephanie Sprenger says

    October 18, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    That is such good advice, seriously. And 7 blogs in 6 years! Amazing. You have a lot of great tips in here- my blog journey over the past year or so has been very illuminating- there is always so much to learn!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 18, 2013 at 4:19 pm

      Yes there is. In fact, it can be very overwhelming if I look at it all at once. I have to take it one day at a time, for sure. Any tips for me?

      Reply
  7. Holli says

    October 19, 2013 at 5:10 pm

    Thanks for the advice. I’m still learning as I go along….just like growing a garden.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 19, 2013 at 8:13 pm

      Thanks for stopping by!!

      Reply
  8. monk-monk says

    October 20, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    I love the new blog and these tips. I’ve had various blogs over the years, too, and have fallen in the trap of trying to do it all. I started an art blog, and adoptee blog, a spiritual blog. Ha, now I am trying to just stick with the one I have instead of trying to write different blogs from all my different facets.

    But I am contemplating a name change. Curious about this new blog, can you block people from it easier than wordpress?

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      No. IN fact, now I’m getting more spam that I used to have to deal with. But, what I did was created a family only blog where I will share pics of the kids, and just taking “faking” out of the title has done wonders!! I have way less creepsters coming my way. And, I will still have pics of the kids time to time here as well as long as it is appropriate, and doesn’t show too much of their face…

      Reply
  9. Diana Q says

    August 24, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Good advice!
    I started blogging many years before I even considered having kids, but now that I have them, I’m very strict about what gets shared about them on my blog. From pictures to general information.
    While I’d love to think that anyone who drops by my blog is a nice person, the reality can be scary at times.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      August 24, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      For sure!

      Reply
  10. sunflower says

    September 1, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    That was a great post with some great tips! Look how well you’re doing now after 3 years!! <3

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Five Lies You Might Believe As A New Blogger says:
    November 20, 2013 at 10:39 am

    […] again, I felt like all the people in my personal life were rolling their eyes. After all, it is my 7th blog in 6 years. I think. There may be one in there I’m forgetting about. But, I was convinced that I had […]

    Reply
  2. How I Grew My Facebook Page from 2K to 30K Followers in Just Six Months - Perfection Pending says:
    June 14, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    […] 10 Things I’ve Learned from Having 7 Blogs in 6 Years. […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
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No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
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You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

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"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

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Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
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