Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Humor Parenting Tips Practical Tips

21 Hilarious Stories From Real Moms That Prove Kids Are Disgusting

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This post is sponsored by Aquavert. All opinions are my own. Please see my full privacy and disclosure policy here.

All moms have found a sippy cup or three behind the couch, in the back of the car, or in the toy bin a time or two. We never forget that smell, or the effort it takes to clean it up.

Real moms know that kids are gross, and there really is nothing you can do about it, except stock up on cleaning supplies like Aquavert to save the day. Aquavert is a brand of unique cleaning and sanitizing products made from Hypochlorous Acid, a naturally occurring acid derived from salt, water and electricity. It effectively kills 99.99% of common but harmful bacteria found in the home like E. Coli, salmonella, and even MRSA.

Aquavert is made with no bleach, no ammonia, no alcohols, in fact there are no harsh chemicals, which is why it’s the best for cleaning up these horrifying messes that these moms found lurking in various places where kids dwell. So, you can disinfect until your heart’s desire, but not worry about using harmful chemicals around your kids.

Here are 21 real mom stories of messes that they stumbled upon accidentally that will prove that all moms need an arsenal of Aquavert to help save the day (and disinfect all those disgusting things we find around the house):

“I found a shriveled hot dog behind our couch. No bun, but there did appear to be a ketchup trail down the wall. My daughter explained that it “just squeezed out the bun and flew behind the couch.” – Melissa S., Difficult Mommy

“I found a drumstick covered in poop in the toy box because my 15 month old used it to scratch an itch, I’m guessing.” – Sherry W., The Messy Christian

“I found that the weird smell coming from my kids room was from my son using his toy box as a urinal…twice.” – Sarah L.

“Giant ball of poop in the closet behind the winter clothes. Like the size of a softball.” – Jessica O.

“A half eaten, rotting apple under my 3 year old’s bed.” – Jessica C.

“One night I laid down with our 5 year old at beditme and noticed something weird on her nightstand. Apparently, she had been picking her boogers and wiping them on the side of the white wood in perfect rows and columns. There were over 100 of them, like a shrine to booger-ville. I threw up in my mouth a little as I wiped it clean.” – Kristen H., KristenHewitt.Me

“I found a blanket that my son peed on crumpled up in his closet. When I asked him why he did such a thing, he said “The bathroom floor is cold.” – Heather B.

“My husband once found a rotting mini watermelon under the front seat of my minivan. I had put it on the floor so it wouldn’t fly off the seat and then totally forgot about it! For a while…because mom brain is real.” – Alysha B.

“When my oldest was about 2, he had a Winnie the Pooh scooter/airplane toy that he could ride. The seat opened into a hidden compartment. I found a giant puddle of honey in it one day. He had used it to stand on to get the honey off the counter and squirt it into that hidden compartment.” – Jessica C.

“We moved this summer and when we were packing up to move we found in a closet in the basement tv room, my daughter’s school lunch box from 4th grade. The lunch was still in there, uneaten. My daughter is a junior in college!!” – Lisa Z.

“My 13 year old DD tried to sneak a whole quart of iced cream. I walked in and was about to catch her with it, so she hid it in her closet. I found it probably a month later (moldy, smelly, ROCK SOLID, mess). I even had to throw out the spoon.” – JoAnna W.

“More than 25 leftover popsicle sticks in the space between the bed and the wall.” -Michelle H.

“A dead frog, smushed to the wall behind the toy box, and so old and dried it was thin as paper. I had to have my husband take care of it.” – Anna W.

“My youngest went through a phase of taking off her diaper. I found little drops of poop EVERYWHERE. The couch. The floor. My new mattress.” -Michelle E.

“My daughter wrote her name on our coffee table with her poop.” -Jody V.

“There was the unfortunate time my daughter smashed an egg under her pillow at bed time. She was trying to grow a new chicken for her brother whose pet chicken had just died. She forgot about it until she hopped into bed.” -Noelle P.

“My son was almost 3 and had “marbles” lined up on the coffee table…. We don’t buy marbles . I said where did they come from….. Reached into diaper and pulled out poop….. And said see ….. Y’all there was not enough bleach and Lysol in the state of Texas that day!” – Stephanie D.

“My mother in law took my girls hiking last summer. What she didn’t tell me was they brought a bag of animal bones home. Found them under their bed. Luckily they were completely cleaned of any flesh. But definitely not something you want to find in your daughter’s bedroom.” – Sheena R.

“I found what I thought was dead mouse in a basket of books in my family room. I bravely took the entire basket (books and all) out on the deck waiting for my husband to come home and dispose of it. Feeling totally grossed out, I started cleaning and looking for other signs of mice. Turns out my 3 year old had stashed some strawberries there months earlier and now they had molded….a fuzzy gray.” – Sarah N.

“My middle son is prone to nosebleeds. One night when he was about 7 he got a bad one at 3am. He came downstairs to our room for help. In the morning I went upstairs for something and stumbled upon a murder crime scene for CSI. He’d used the white wall to steady himself all the way down the stairs so finger streaks in blood on white paint. We got it all cleaned up, but we can never move. If anyone ever black lights this house I’m going to jail.” – Lauri W., Mama Needs a Nap.

“In the consul between the couches we found logs of poo. My autistic son had to go, didn’t want to stop playing his game, and problem solved.” – Jessica A.

***

I have plenty of horror stories of my own like the time I found a sandwich in my son’s lunch box. It had sat there the entire summer until we went to pack his lunch for the first day of school and found a black moldy mess.

I’ve always been one to want to bleach everything, but it’s so hard on your skin, and such strong chemicals aren’t good for little ones to be breathing either. That’s why Aquavert is kind of a big deal. It  kills 99.99% of germs (which is actually a pretty BIG difference from 99.90% of germs… when you talk about BILLIONS of germs!)

Plus, bleach can stain clothing. I just ruined one of my daughter’s shirts when I threw a rag with bleach on it into the hamper.

Plus, Aquavert only has three ingredients – Salt +water + electricity. None of which are harmful to humans or animals.

Aquavert is a multipurpose cleaner that won’t damage marble, stainless, ceramic or other surfaces. Even when you find a petrified frog stuck to the wall.

The active ingredient of Aquavert is HOCL, which is 120 times more powerful than hypochlorite, the active ingredient in liquid bleach and it’s EPA certified.

I used the degreaser cleaner to get off some “artwork” my 5yo put on my planter. It came off easier than other cleaning products I’ve used.

I decided to tackle my son’s lunch box after that to see if it could get the caked on food and grime off of it. And, it worked like magic. The lunch box looks brand new, and doesn’t even smell like chemicals (which is nice since he keeps his food there). Plus, now I know the inside (and outside) are disinfected.

And, just as an added bonus, a couple of days after I wrote this post, my youngest drew on my bathroom walls with three dark shades of lipstick. I put him to work with some Aquavert to clean it up, and the degreaser worked like a charm. Yay for small victories!

Don’t let your kids’ disgusting habits or booger wall stop you from feeling like your house is clean. Just grab some Aquavert and get the job done all while protecting your family, too.


1 Comment

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Comments

  1. Stacey W says

    November 28, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    I can hang with these moms. I have gross stuff under my couch from the kids! I need to check this product out!

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

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Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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