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By Meredith Ethington

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Parenting Parenting Tips Practical Tips

5 Simple Changes To Have More Calm And Less Chaos At Home With Your Kids

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This post is sponsored by Nucleus and contains affiliate links. See my full privacy and disclosures here.

Chaos. It’s the perfect word to describe life with little kids. It seems like we’re always running, always doing, always trying to stay on top of the mess. I sometimes collapse into bed at night and wonder what I have to show for all that crazy running around I did that day.

As my kids get bigger, and my house feels smaller, I find that I’m constantly seeking out ways to calm our environment and make things seem quieter, and happier, and just overall less chaotic.

It’s a work in progress for any family. There will always be moments of chaos, I’m afraid, but there are a few things I’m trying out right now to try to make everything more peaceful around here. After all, we could all use a little more sanity in our lives as parents, can’t we?

Here are some simple changes to a happier, calmer home that you can start today:

Ignore bad behaviors. I don’t mean not to discipline, but I mean when the toddler asks you a question and the answer is no, but he keeps on insisting or demanding, try to walk away. My youngest tends to repeat the same question over and over and OVER, driving me to madness. But, I’ve found that when I can just say, I already answered that question, so we’re not going to talk about it anymore and physically walk away, he quiets down and stops begging a lot sooner then if I keep trying to explain myself. This works well for older kids too that just want to argue a point to death. Stop the arguing, and go into another room and BREATHE. Lock the door if you have to.

Designate quiet time. When my kids stopped napping, I had to keep going with quiet time in my house. I still make sure we all have time where we turn off screens everyday and focus on reading books, chores, or some other quiet time activity like coloring or puzzles. Now that my kids are older and summer is approaching, I’m feeling a little anxious. Because, they are quiet when they are watching TV right? But, since I don’t want to just let them stare at screens all summer, I find that if we can turn it off, my kids actually gravitate toward fun activities like make-believe, reading, or art. What parent doesn’t want that. And if you’re desperate to keep toddlers busy I have ideas for that too.

Slow down. This is a hard one for me. I’m happier when I’m busier. If we don’t have a lot going on, I tend to get anxious and start to make everyone miserable. So, there is definitely an art to learning how to slow down. But, now that my kids are getting older, I realize that I can do more things on their time table instead of my own. So what if we’re a little late? Who cares if we miss the first 10 minutes of exercise class, or playgroup? If you can learn to slow down (which sometimes requires getting up earlier in the day to allow time to do that) then your home will be a lot calmer and more peaceful.

Focus on people, not stuff. This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned lately. I started noticing that my kids just aren’t playing with their toys. They’re wanting to spend time with me, or with each other, or they are really having fun when they are outside with friends. And we’re ALL happier. So, look around and try to de-clutter. I bet most American kids could do without about half of the toys they own and they wouldn’t even miss them.  Keep that in mind, and you’ll find that without all the clutter around, you’ll feel more at peace, and your kids will too.

Make communication easier. Have you ever found yourself yelling down the halls for your kids who are in their room with the door closed and you’re frustrated that no one is coming when you call? Then you end up having to walk into the other room anyway to get them, and you’re more frustrated to begin with? Nucleus is a solution for most homes that will make that SO much easier, and since we’ve been using it in our house, my house is definitely calmer.

It’s a video intercom system for your home that is so simple, even your kids can use it. Mine have loved calling me on it from the basement, and it’s perfect for moms starting to leave their kids at home. You can have an app on your phone, and video call your house with just a touch of a button to check in.

  • Nucleus is a family communication device that connects you with the people you love, whether they’re downstairs or across the country.
  • Make audio and video calls by simply asking Alexa.
  • Connects to the internet via WiFi, Ethernet, or Power over Ethernet
  • Designed for Everyone: We designed Nucleus with the kids and Grandma in mind, making it easier than ever to set up and just say “hello.”
  • Chat on the go: Use the mobile app to check in with from anywhere.  The Nucleus companion mobile app is compatible with iPhone 5s or later and Android 5 or later.

It could work as a way to check on sleeping babies, or just a way to gently wake up a teenager in another room that needs to get to school. You could give one to grandma to have at her house, and your kids could call her all the time! How fun would it be to give everyone in your extended family one for Christmas?

It really has been a lifesaver the last few days getting my kids to come upstairs for dinner as I just hit a button and can chat with them and tell them to come upstairs. Plus, it’s FUN! My kids even called me the other day from the basement and I broke up a fight over video if you can imagine. Here we are talking it out.

Another super fun feature is that Alexa (Amazon’s super convenient helper) is built right into the device that connects to your Amazon account. My kids have had so much fun asking Alexa to play music for them, or asking her to sing happy birthday.

I really just can’t say enough good things about it, and if you have a big house, or just want to get your whole family a little more connected when you’re all doing your own thing, then this is the product to get. And, guess what!?? I’m giving away a dual pack below so that you can have two in your home, and connect them both to your cell. But if you don’t win, you can buy your own on Amazon. TOTALLY worth it.

How do you keep your home calm and happy? Leave me comment to let me know, and don’t forget to enter to win a Nucleus for your home!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


35 Comments

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Comments

  1. Christine Suhan says

    May 19, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    I so need this! ????

    Reply
  2. Annie R says

    May 19, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    I could totally use that to talk to my teen. Her bedroom is in the basement. Would make it so handy.

    Reply
  3. Jessica says

    May 19, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    We have an Alexa and I have been wishing she reached other parts of the house, especially now that I have a newborn! Would love to win!

    Reply
  4. Lauren says

    May 19, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Love this idea! Less yelling is always a good thing.

    Reply
  5. Kimberly says

    May 19, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    Okay, that’s cool. ????

    Reply
  6. Laura says

    May 19, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    My kids would FLIP. And so would I because then I wouldn’t have to scream their names 5 trazillion times before anybody listened to me. They’d be itching for me to call on them. And all you had to say was built-in Alexa. SOLD.

    Reply
  7. Miriam Pallister says

    May 19, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    I would love this! With a new baby in the house, I’m definitely trying to do less yelling to get my other kids to hear me through closed doors.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      May 19, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Good luck! It WOULD be so nice in a house with a sleeping baby!

      Reply
  8. Kristi Campbell says

    May 19, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    This is SOOO cool! So tonight, I tried to put down a rug in the basement (we’re in a townhouse) to make it more like a rec-room for Tucker and it’s TOO BIG. The rug was shipped in crazy compact-form, in a tarp thing that I cut open and now I don’t know what to do which has nothing to do with this give-away other than I want Tucker to be able to play in the basement!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      May 19, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Tucker NEEDS this!! He would love it. My kids have been playing with it non-stop.

      Reply
  9. Whitney says

    May 19, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    So true- I especially agree with the quiet time one. My oldest two are phasing out of naps at the same time and I always tell them it’s okay to not sleep. But you’ve gotta stay in your room and read/play alone for a while. WE ALL NEED IT.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      May 19, 2017 at 9:16 pm

      Totally! I think I need it more than they do!

      Reply
  10. Christine Carter says

    May 19, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    Why do I need this? Let me count the ways…. 🙂

    Um, two kids, one long summer ahead, we just kind of frugally finished our basement so I can keep the kids down there when I work… this would be PERFECT!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      May 19, 2017 at 9:45 pm

      I’m rooting for you Christine!!

      Reply
  11. Honey says

    May 20, 2017 at 8:56 am

    How I keep my house calm, hm, I encourage quieter activities such as drawing, puzzles, etc.

    Reply
  12. Lauri Walker says

    May 21, 2017 at 2:27 am

    We have a finished attic and finished basement so… three floors. What a great way to close the gaps, so to speak. Love this. I want to win!

    Reply
  13. Danielle says

    May 21, 2017 at 11:27 am

    My favorite too is to focus on people not stuff! Great advice!

    Reply
  14. Sarah Chan says

    May 21, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    I find that PRACTICING being calm with my children when they actually are calm — like practicing taking deep breaths, and counting, and other strategies before they actually need them — really helps cut down on chaos-in-the-moment-too. We also sing a lot of Daniel Tiger songs about our feelings, because I have 3 very emotional girls. (And a baby boy who’s not sure what he thinks about all this just yet.)

    But I’m sure a video intercom system would help, too. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Jessi says

    May 21, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Thanks for introducing this system! We live in a townhouse and have 4 kids. We spend most of our time outside with the neighbors, but this would be so awesome to call back to the house if we forget something. Also, my husband and I travel frequently for work and this is a great way to stay connected with the kids while we’re gone. Not to mention all our family is out of state.
    Hope to win, and will definitely be researching!
    Do you have to have Alexa in addition to the system?

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      May 22, 2017 at 7:35 am

      I’m not sure on Alexa? We didn’t have Alexa before, but were able to just connect our Amazon Prime account and the feature worked!

      Reply
  16. Carrie DuBois says

    May 28, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    I am a foster parent and need to be able to monitor every room in my house. I have a baby monitor but it isn’t quite working. I would love this.

    Reply
  17. Laura says

    May 30, 2017 at 7:10 am

    Being able to watch what’s going on in my living room while I’m in the kitchen would be amazing! What a great product!

    Reply
  18. amanda whitley says

    May 30, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    i would love this so i could have some peace of mind when my kids go to sleep down the hall, i will be able to see if they are up to no good.

    Reply
  19. laura bernard says

    May 30, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    I would love this for piece of mind over my family and pets!

    Reply
  20. Michelle Catallo says

    May 30, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    My eldest son with taking responsibility for his own actions and my youngest son, same issue but, add the not doing classwork to the growing list :-/

    Reply
  21. BILLIE BEAL says

    May 31, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    yes , I would like to know whats going on while I am not in the room

    Reply
  22. Jenny Ham says

    May 31, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Would be a great way to communicate throughout the house

    Reply
  23. Christin says

    May 31, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    I’d love this to be able to keep an eye on my home and to watch my daughter!

    Reply
  24. Melissa C says

    May 31, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    I’d gift to my mom since I have a nucleus this way we can stay in touch since she lives so far away

    Reply
  25. kelly woods says

    May 31, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Would love this. It would be so helpful.

    Reply
  26. Celeste Herrin says

    May 31, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    I would love to win this so I can stop screaming through the house trying to get someone to hear me! It’s an everyday issue! Thank you so much for the chance!

    Reply
  27. Jessica M Miller says

    May 31, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    I need this in my life!

    Reply
  28. Dynal Roberson says

    May 31, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    It would be convent for talking to my boys in their room.

    Reply
  29. Kayla Klontz says

    May 31, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    This would be perfect, we live in a large space and this would make me feel more secure if my kids are in a seperate part of the house.

    Reply

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  1. 5 Easy Ways to Create More Calm In Your Home | A Parent Company says:
    July 23, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    […] over and over. It can drive any parent crazy and quickly escalate a situation into insanity! But, Perfection Pending found that if you just let them know that you already answered the question and you’re not […]

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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