*Don’t you love it when you delete an entire blog post? Ugh, now I’m going to attempt to re-write.
Last night at around 4:30 am I hear my six year old say, “Mommy!” I leap out of bed in my usual panic mode and race into her room expecting to hear the dreaded, “I’m sick” or some other horrible thing that you don’t want to hear at that time of night/day. Instead, she says, “Mommy? Will you get Pinky for me?” I pick up the stuffed animal she is referring to that is right next to her bed and throw it back at her angrily. “You are NOT allowed to wake me up for stuff like this.” I said. She replied, “But Mommy, I was scared to get out of my bed”. I didn’t respond, and instead stumbled back to my room and quickly fell back asleep.
You see, my husband woke me up at 11:30 pm with his snacking, the baby woke me up at 3ish with his usual routine, My 6 year old woke me up at 4:30 am, and my 4 year old woke up at 6:20 am. 30 minutes before the alarm went off. And people wonder why I’m cranky. This is not abnormal in our house.
Yet, this morning, after I had a chance to wake up a little and reflect (as all good mommies do) I thought about the paradox. You see, this weekend, we went to the ski resort and she slid down this giant hill on her bum. It was huge! (The picture may not do it justice). But, even my husband had a hard time climbing it.
There she is, halfway down the slope with her Daddy. No fear. She would have done it by herself if we had let her. Yet, she was scared to get out of her bed and pick up her stuffed animal off the floor.
Do you remember your childhood? Those covers were magical almost. I would hear a noise in the night, but think I was safe as long as I stayed in my bed. But, I do remember a phase when I went into my parents room every. single. night. and said, “I’m scared” so I could crawl into bed with them for a few minutes. I wonder how tired my Mom was during that stage. I’m glad my kids don’t come stand by my bed in the middle of the night. Creepy.
For Thanksgiving, one of the things that she said she was thankful for was “a home where she felt safe”. That made us feel so good. Because when you are little, feeling love and safe, and warm (especially in your own bed) feels like everything.
And, I like to think that because she does call me in the middle of the night, I am the one that can ultimately make her feel that way. And, having my children overlook all my faults that they undoubtedly see every day and ultimately feel safe because of me. Well, that is everything.
I was scared to step on the floor at her age, too. Something about leaving the bed is just terrifying! 🙂