I Hate Feeding My Kids

This is not a good statement to make for several reasons. Please don’t call child protective services. I promise. I do feed them.

But, I really do hate feeding my kids. It’s not that I’m negligent, or that I’m a bad Mom, or that they are malnourished, it’s just that feeding them really does annoy the heck out of me. It has been this way since day one. I never have really enjoyed the feeding process. And, now that I have 3 kids, I feel like a dang waitress in my own home. A job that while I enjoyed very much when I actually got paid to do it while in college, I now abhor when I have to do it with my 3 kids.

The whole process of meals, and snacks. Packing lunches. Coming up with WHAT to eat. Preparing them and cleaning them up is enough to make we want to scream. I know Moms that like feeding their children and the even crazier mom that enjoys packing the lunches (you know who you are). But, honestly, I find it downright annoying.

Here’s a typical meal time in real time:

“Hey kids! Time for breakfast/lunch or dinner…wash your hands!”

I hear little feet scurrying and I try to put a plate down of something for each kid so that they can start feeding themselves the minute they sit down. But,  it never fails. I am in mid stride to go get their drinks and I hear, “Mommy I’m thirsty” three times before I even reach the glasses. I am walking over to set down the drinks and I hear, “Mommy! I said I wanted pears with my sandwich”. I sigh, walk over to get the pears that I just hadn’t had a chance to put on the table yet. “Mommy, I didn’t want cheese on mine!” as I round the corner to grab the…. “Mommy! I want salt!” Yep, you guessed it: salt. You get the idea right? I am still waiting tables. I just don’t get tips now.

But, feeding my kids is a HUGE part of my job. I mean, nourishing my kids is one of my primary responsibilities. And let’s not even mention how many times I hear, “I don’t like this” while gagging ensues because I dared to add (insert some sort of nutritious food) to the meal. I now understand while I was somewhere around middle school age my Mom declared she was done with cooking, and she never really did again. My Dad was the primary cook in our house from then on. And why? Because we were ungrateful little monsters is my guess.

I love this note that my daughter wrote the other day. Not sure what her point was, but I get the point loud and clear. And, it makes me laugh like crazy:

Yep. Looks about right for a Saturday morning. Notice I am up at 8:01. Heh. And, guess what I’m probably doing at that time? Feeding my kids.

And, don’t even get me started on the 4 year old who literally has 3 breakfasts everyday. He wants to eat first. Then, sees his sister eating and wants some of that too. And, then when mommy and daddy want to eat, yeah he needs a little of that also. He has an uncanny ability to hear you opening some food packaging from 3 rooms away. I do not lie.

And, we can’t forget the baby! He is so freaking adorable that it kills me. But, at the same time, the frustrations with feeding a baby that desperately needs to eat every calorie he can get his hands on because of his food allergies, yet has such a small amount of food he will actually eat has problems all its own. Not to mention the way he has become a control freak when it comes to feeding time.*

I don’t know what the answer is. Yes I do. It is to win the lottery and hire a cook/waitress immediately.  Too bad the lottery is illegal in Utah. But, you better believe when they are old enough to get a job, I will be expecting tips.

*The following is an article I wrote today over at my little blogging job at Families.com. I am copying it here for memory’s sake so that when I am old and feeble or maybe when I have a momentary lapse in judgment about wanting another baby, I can read this. 🙂 Here is the link to the original article

My baby has decided that feeding time is all about control. Oh how I love/hate this stage. Parenting a baby that is transitioning into toddlerhood is fun, exciting, and takes a lot of patience.

For example, I recently had noticed that my little guy had started to refuse some of the foods he normally loves. He would turn his head away from the first bite, or arch his back and shake his head no. I couldn’t figure out what was causing the problem until one day when I handed him the spoon. He was thrilled.

Since then, he has desired more and more control over his spoon, his bowl, and everything else that goes into his mouth. For a while, I was able to get away with just letting him hold a spoon while I simultaneously fed him with another spoon. He would dip his spoon in whatever I was feeding him, and that would distract him enough that he would open his mouth for bites when I would try to feed him something.

But, now, it has just turned into a messy, gooey mess at every meal. Because having his own spoon is no longer enough. Now he wants to have complete control over everything. He wants to not only hold the spoon, have the bowl on his tray and dip into it, but he wants to be solely responsible for getting the food into his mouth.

I’ve given up trying to feed him myself. Now, it is up to him to get the food into his mouth.

Don’t get me wrong, he has plenty of finger foods. And, he enjoys those, but he won’t even eat his finger foods without a fork in his hands now. I’d like to say it is cute (because it often is), but it can also be very frustrating and messy.

Motherhood to a baby is all about letting go. One day they do have to become toddlers, big kids, and so on. I just didn’t think it was going to happen this soon. I mean, the kid isn’t even walking yet.