I’m Brave Because I Stick To It.

I love Katy’s post today, because I think we can all relate to feeling a little like, compared to others we just aren’t that brave. There are definitely plenty of moms that are braver than I am. But, I love her perspective, because I’ve also dreamt of far off places without so much responsibility and stinky bums and sometimes, just being there everyday is bravery. She’s honest, and funny, and I’m glad she decided to participate in this fun series. Make sure you check out her blog afterward! If you want to be part of my Be Brave guest post series, go here.

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There are so many stories out there of brave mothers.

Mother’s lifting cars off of children or living through the pain of losing a child.

I never thought I was a brave mother. I still don’t think I’m that brave, except for when I peek into my baby’s diaper. You never know what kind of a mess you are going to find and that is extraordinary braveness in my book.

I found out about the “brave guest post” and decided to take a swing at it. I thought about it for months and months. I realized there were a few times I was brave, for the sake of my children.

Some examples were when I left my abusive ex-husband so my 9-month old son would not be raised in that environment, when I went back to school to provide a better life for my son and myself and when I remarried a man, even though I was terrified he would be the same as the first, who loved me and my son so deeply.

Some people say going through an entire pregnancy, delivery and two months with a new baby while my husband was in Afghanistan, was brave. Personally I think it was dumb (and very unplanned).

Yes, I am brave, I don’t think it often, but I know I am, in everyday things and in over-the-top-scary-life-changing-things.

So let’s get to the thing I am most brave about – sticking to it.

I had a “dad” that ran away from his two daughters. He wanted little to nothing to do with us and came and went as it was easy for him. This was always devastating to me and I never understood how someone could do that to a child.

Now that I have kids, I think about running away on a daily minute basis. I dream about moving to a big city and working for a huge Public Relations firm. I think about vacations without kids, just my girlfriends, no responsibility, no screaming and no wiping poopy little bottoms.

Please don’t misunderstand, I love my children, I love them more than I will ever be able to express. This is probably their and my saving grace.

I think back to my “sperm donor” and realize I could totally be him. I could leave in an instant and never look back. It would definately be much easier than sticking around, feeling inadequate, every second of most every day.

I could do that.

I won’t do that.

I love my children and I know that as inadequate as I feel, they need and love me. They rely on me and I rely on them. I wouldn’t ever leave them, I may never let them leave me in fact!

I may continue to day dream of beaches and quiet but I will continue to be brave. I will continue to break the fatherless/motherless cycle. I will be brave, as I have been each and every day since the birth of my first born.

Each and every mother, and of course father, is brave for sticking to it. Sticking by our kids when the going gets rough, when our kids are hurt and our hearts are breaking for them. We are brave to conquer the science projects at the last minute, the t-ball practices ending in a loss – or even a win, the fighting and of course the lovely whining.

Each of us has it in us to be brave each day and stick to it. Maybe others have an easier time sticking to it, maybe it isn’t in their blood to want to leave all responsibility behind. So for me, being brave each and everyday, is continuing on with a smile, or sometimes tears running down my face, for my sweet boys.

Now I have to be brave and go peek into the baby’s diaper…

 

 

 

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Katy Gibbs blogs over at Earningourstripes.org. She is the mother of two rambunctious little boys and wife to her hero. She is an entrepreneur and has many business going at the moment and loves to write about daily happenings in a way that will make people laugh. She believes it is better to laugh than cry and that she can always do hard things – and earn her stripes daily.