Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Babies & Toddlers Humor

A Letter To Those Who Don’t Know Nap Time Is Sacred

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Dear Anyone and Everyone who does not know that nap time is sacred,

When you have three small children that all still nap, the hours of 1-4 pm in our house are sacred. Every day during this time, the world under our little roof stops. Phones are turned off. The doorbell is unplugged (we are high tech around here), schedules are cleared, and all attempts at complete silence are attempted. We fail miserably at complete silence almost every day. But, we try.

You see, it’s not just that this time is MY time as a stay at home Mom. Although, I might fight to the death to savor that me time. It’s more than that. It’s my kids’ time. Their time to rest their wired up, non-stop talking, always-asking-for-food bodies for just a couple of hours. It is their time to re-charge. It is my time to do…well, almost anything or nothing. But, usually, my time to watch the morning news I record. Or, my time to sit at the computer writing like I am right now. Or eat some food. Or, on the very RARE occasion, when I’ve had a ridiculously long night of no sleep, I might nap too.

So, yeah, it’s a pretty big deal if you ring my doorbell during this time.

You see, I don’t care if you are freaking publisher’s clearing house telling me I’ve won a million dollars. Can you come back after 4?

Want to deliver cookies as a nice gesture? No thank you.

Have flowers, or a surprise package? Just leave it outside. PLEASE, please for the love don’t ring my doorbell (in case I forgot to unplug it) or bang on my door like there is a fire. I would rather someone steal the package you are delivering than you wake my sleeping child.

If the whole world could just stop during these hours like they do in Italy (Hmmm. Maybe I should move to Italy?) my life might be a whole lot easier.

Don’t play with your dogs right under my window where my child is napping making them yelp.

Don’t let your child that doesn’t nap come ask for a playdate.

Don’t bring me anything at all during this time. Period. Or, just quietly leave it outside my door and leave.

Don’t call me or text during this time. I just might have laid my weary bones down to rest for two seconds.

Don’t drive your dump truck down my residential street and shake my whole house.

How about you don’t even walk in front of my house at all? The neighbors’ dogs think all hell is breaking loose when this happens.

Cats: Please don’t get into a cat fight under my children’s window.

Birds: Stop your damn chirping between 1 and 4. Okay?

And, can you please wait to drag your trashcans to the curb until after 4. The trash doesn’t come until tomorrow morning. It can wait. Or pressure wash your driveway? That could maybe wait until 4 too.

To all you tweens. It’s really not a good time to skateboard on my driveway. Or play basketball, or any other tween like behavior. Just wait a little while. Don’t you have homework to do?

To all construction workers, roofers, and city ordinance peeps: Can you please not drill that hole, chop down that tree, shingle that roof, or re-pave my street right at the precise time of 2 pm? Why not 9 am? Or, I would even take 3 if we have to compromise. But, it never fails. You pull up your giant digger precisely after my wee ones have finally entered dream land.

Most of the time, my kids sleep through it. But, sometimes they don’t. And, it’s usually for one of the ridiculous reasons already mentioned above. To you, oh dear outsider who apparently still thinks the world should function during these hours, just know, that if I know who you are, I might come ring your doorbell between the hours of 1-4 also. A.M., that is.

Because when one of these little people that still needs naps (even though at least one of them thinks he doesn’t), doesn’t get a nap? Life is, well, let’s just say, not fun. And, by not fun, I mean, pretty much make me want to kill myself not fun. Because you see, if those hours of 1-4 are not kept quiet, then the hours of 1, until my kid goes to bed for the night, are like nails on a chalkboard. You want to run away screaming, covering your ears, and hide until it stops.

That’s all for now.

Desperately,

Mothers of small children everywhere.

 


4 Comments

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Comments

  1. Louisa says

    June 30, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    Oh my god… Siesta time. Il had to explain time and time again that I really needed my 2 to 4 PM “me time” to be able to finally WORK ! I am a freelancer and find it exremely frustrating when one of my kids decides not to fall asleep (or just when one of my other two are waking up).or when I actually get them to sleep… there comes a knock at the door…from someone who wont take no for an answer!.i cant unplug my doorbell unfortunately 🙁

    Reply
  2. Jeannie D says

    June 30, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    Absolutely love this post! I can so relate! You forgot the ding dong cart, I want to punch that guy… love ya Meredith! ❤

    Reply
  3. Heather says

    July 6, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    This is SO true for me as well–and I only have ONE child!! My (work from a home office) husband, and the dog (that barks at everything) also know, the only way in is if my husband has to poop (yes, he pees outside if he has to). But I just wanted to tell you I pin’d your article about being an anxious/angry mom. Thank you for writing that. You put into words into my every day feelings!! I’m in the process of choosing a new gynecologist (mine retired) and I want my new doc to read your article and hopefully prescribe me a very light anxiety medication. I’m so glad your article came into my email!!!

    Reply

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    January 10, 2019 at 7:52 pm

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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