Sometimes, I think I’m too sensitive for this blogging thing. Yesterday, I received a comment on my blog that was not only was offensive, and made me sick to my stomach, but it felt a little threatening too. I’ve reported it to WordPress, and also flagged it as spam, but it lingers in the back of my mind today.
Along with that, I’ve read this post, and this one about yet another hot topic that is created by a war of words online. It feels exhausting to me, and I wonder if this online blogging world isn’t for me.
Then, yet another post is being criticized publicly in a way that makes my heart hurt. It’s a sensitive topic to millions of people, yet in some way, I can understand what this couple is trying to say. Sure, they said it in an insensitive way, but I suspect, that just like all parents that are doing their best, they will grow to love their children even though they are experiencing sadness and pain by their own decision that didn’t quite go how they planned it out in their mind.
The truth is, there are a lot of hot topics out there I could blog about. I DO have opinions on them. But, I tend to steer clear of topics like religion, politics, feminism, and someone else’s right to choose…..well, whatever. We all have our free agency, and freedom of speech.
But, in this online world where we are all getting little peeks into each other’s lives, I can’t help but think it is making us less loving and understanding, and more judgmental because we can’t seem to grasp how someone else can be so idiotic in their thinking that is unlike our own.
Sure, it’s OK to believe in something, and share it. But, to me, the anger is brewing even greater now, and we are becoming even less tolerant of others by pretending to know what is in their heart by a few words they choose to type out to the world on a day when maybe they aren’t thinking too clearly. Or, maybe they feel so justified in their own belief system that they hope to convince the world that their way is the right way. But, instead, they create a stewing pot of hatred that grows hotter and hotter as more people throw in their own two cents.
This comment that was left on my blog is something that is so hateful, I can hardly comprehend owning that kind of hate in your heart. I definitely cannot comprehend feeling those feelings. And it is too hateful and disgusting to share. I’m sure it was written by someone who at one point in her life (I’m pretty sure it was a woman that wrote it) was deeply hurt herself. And, yet, it makes me feel intensely protective of my little ones. It makes me want to shield them forever from the pain, misery, and hatred that this world is full of.
And, now, because of the internet, it is all right at our fingertips. And, we are buying into it. And, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
The internet and social media have opened up miraculous things for all of us. Having so much good information and content at our fingertips is astounding. Never needing a set of encyclopedias in our homes is amazing. Being able to skype with my parents who live hundreds of miles away is a comfort. Listening to a song when it is instantly released is incredibly convenient. But, I think what we are forgetting is that being able to get a peek into someone’s life is a privilege. Not an invitation to judge.
One could argue that if we choose to put ourselves out there, then everyone else has just as much of a right to free speech as that person does. And, I agree. We all have that right, but what I’ve seen is not just about free speech, it’s about being right. It’s about insults and attacks. I’ve seen too many words that show that we are forgetting that there is someone else on the other end of every blog post, every picture, and every word written. And, imagine this: Those people have feelings. And, as honest as some of us try to be in our posts, we never really know what the heart is feeling, or hiding. We don’t really know the WHOLE story. We don’t know the sadness that they keep inside, or the fear that catapults the actions. We forget that we are all human beings on the other side of that screen.
In fact, in recent months, I’ve seen lots of posts that feel so supportive, accepting, and the opposite of judgmental. Call me cynical, but It’s almost become trendy to be uplifting, accepting, and understanding online. Yet, as soon as someone says something entirely different, and opposite of the way we believe, we feel the need to share our wisdom, point out how wrong the other person is, or write a retaliation post shaming the other person for their way of thinking.
Judgment comes in all forms. None of us are perfect in not judging others. That would be humanly impossible. Humans judge others. It’s our nature. But, I think the difference now is that we are doing it subconsciously with a quick comment here, or a thoughtless rant over there.
I’ve learned through recent experiences that even innocently sharing something on Facebook that we LOVE and truly resonates with us, can hurt someone else unintentionally. Because others are always judging, trying to read into what we are saying, and making assumptions about hidden meaning that may or may not be there. And, my skin is not thick enough for any of that. I’ve realized that.
Words are no longer carefully executed, thought out, and planned liked they used to be. Even when email was the most popular form of communication we would think before we would write. Sometimes, we would even proofread. But, now….now it all feels so condemning.
And the truth is, if you’re not a pot-stirrer, most likely, no one is going to notice your little corner of the internet.
And we’ve all forgotten that words are powerful.
I’m afraid, as gloomy as it sounds, that the big pot stirrers are making us think that we should all be speaking up a little more, when in reality, there is beauty (and maybe even peace?) in silence, too.
But, what takes real courage is loving someone that is different than you, that maybe you don’t fully understand, and maybe just keeping quiet in an effort to show that we’re all doing this imperfect human existence thing together. We really, truly, don’t have to post something on FB, or comment on something that makes us angry, or write an open-letter in response. Maybe instead, we can sit back and feel love. And, I dare say, maybe even feel love for someone we don’t even know. And be grateful for that little peek that a few years ago, none of us would have gotten. And never forget that the little peek into that life is just one part of the story.
I am so sorry you got that awful comment. I think human nature is full of opinions and bitching as well as love and compassion. We gather with friends and do all of the above, The problem is that the internet is not a private conversation between friends and we say something in print and it can never really be taken back. Sometimes we do that in real life too but it doesn’t mean we are bad people.
I do hope you continue to blog. I enjoy your posts and an insight into you and your world.
Yeah, what she said. I guess I’m a pot stirrer in a way, but I’ve been pretty lucky not to have had to defend my asinine comments or posts too much. I’m sure it’s coming.
Well, most of what you say is joking around….and I think most people get that. I do. A lot of what I read from other people is NOT joking, and I just get tired of it from time to time. I guess that means I need to take more breaks from being online so much. That’s probably the lesson to be learned here! 🙂
Well good, I’m glad that most people can see that I’m just teasing for the most part. Sarcasm eludes a great many people though. That commenter of yours was demented for sure. It’s sad, but there are sick people out there. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that so that we’re a little more protective of our little ones instead of letting ourselves relax too much. Whatever though. Praise Jesus or something!!
hahaha! Yes. Praise Jesus. If all else fails right? 😉
And, I know what you mean about the sarcasm. Some people just don’t get it.
Thank you. I hate when I get down about blogging like this! :/ And, it’s not just about blogging, it’s about all the blogs I read too….just guess I’m focusing too much on the negativity of all of it today. I’m sure tomorrow will be looking up. 🙂
I think sometimes when we feel like this we see it everywhere. I did a post yesterday asking others to consider bone marrow donation and got two reblogs, a facebook share and two others promising to commit. That is four new potential donors since I first mentioned this topic! Then I did a post which mentioned abuse and got nothing but kindness. So there is a lot of goodness and kindness out there. Similar to yourself last week I was not in a good place and could not see much of that! Maybe next week will be better.
I hope so. And, I agree, so much positivity has come from my blogging as well, but it does feel like negativity is everywhere some days (or weeks). 🙂 Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Sorry you had to experience that! Thankfully, everyone has been very kind and respectful – but maybe that’s because I steer away from blogs that are nasty. If I disagree with a blogger, I usually just leave their page and don’t come back. I don’t bother sharing my POV b/c I feel like it is very unlikely that I will change someone’s mind who is like that. I tend not to be a ‘pot-stirrer.’ I’m open about my beliefs, but I don’t always feel the need to voice or discuss every single one. Maybe someday I will I’ll feel that push – but I would rather just be a light, encouragement and bright spot . And maybe someone will want to know why. Sorry that person was so disrespectful. Don’t let it dampen your spirits! If you love blogging, then keep doing it!
Thanks for the kind words! 🙂
Please don’t stop blogging.. I LOVE your blog. I can really resonate with you. Be grateful for people like that, they teach us exactly the type of person we DON’T want to be xxx
Thank you. That means a lot!
I’m wracking my brain to try and comprehend just exactly why someone would leave you a nasty comment, and I am coming up with zero reasons anybody would be vile to you. None. Zip. Zero. I really can’t fathom it. I’m sorry you had to deal with that crap 🙁
Well, let me just say it wasn’t directed at ME exactly, but more of a hateful comment about men, little boys, and how she likes to see them treated badly. :/
but in a much more graphic context
that is horrible.
Great post, Meredith.
I found out the power of words the hard way through the use of email. More than once, I wrote something that was hugely misunderstood and I paid for it in hurt relationships. It has taken a while for those relationships to heal and not without loads of apologies and basically remaining silent for quite some time. I have learned that though I tend to be an introvert by nature, I am an extrovert when I am at a keyboard and I can be very impulsive.
One of the great things about being part of a blogging community is finding out that there is a huge range of viewpoints on one subject. I have found many wonderful people who share my same beliefs and I have equally found many wonderful people who have differing opinions. Those different viewpoints have helped me see the other side of the many stories behind many lives.
The weekly photo challenges have been extremely interesting and enlightening. Everyone’s photographic interpretation of a word or phrase is different and ,I think, very personal. It has been very beautiful to see.
I’m sorry that you received a negative and hurtful comment. I’m glad it has not driven you to stop writing insightful and well-written posts.
What a nice comment! Thank you!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. -Dr. Seuss
I don’t know what the comment was or what that person’s intention was, but don’t let them shut you down. Maybe it’s an enemy attack. Sometimes, the more good you do, the more the enemy launches fiery darts at you. But remember who he is, a lowly worm who won’t get away with it much longer.
A while back I got a comment on my blog suggesting that people with food allergies, including children, should be killed because they were weak and should be weeded out by this person’s version of natural selection (homicide). I know that enemies read my blog too and wondered if it were an ex’s friend. I reported it to WordPress and never heard back. But take comfort in knowing our Father is keeping score and I can’t even imagine what they will ultimately face if they keep turning their backs on Him.
True! My comment was similar about how all men and little boys didn’t deserve to exist….enemies for sure!
Holy cow. Well, reminder to the disgruntled commenter, females would not exist if there were no males. That’s Birds and Bees 101, yo.
Sarcasm intended.
🙂
Well said, and exactly what I was thinking today.
Nice words and you are right. Even though we have blogs that appear bitter, like you said, there are feelings on the other side of the blog. Most people have been pretty nice or sarcastic when they are mean, but like you said the mean ones stick out and though some people don’t take things personally, I don’t have the gift. I do take things personally. Thanks for putting all this out there!
I’m glad I’m not the only one!
This is a post I couldn’t have written better if I had done it myself. One of my things to do while at work is read news articles…then I go down to the comments. PEOPLE ARE AWFUL! They say whatever to whoever, because like you said, they forget there is a person on the other side of the screen. The internet has helped us share the Gospel in many ways with all kinds of people who may not have been able to hear it, but it has also brought about many heartache with rude words and unintentional hurtful comments (like what you said about FB).
I’m sorry you received a mean comment, I hope you can delete it from your mind just like you did from your blog 🙂
I love what you said about the pot stirrers making us all think we need to speak up more when in reality maybe we just need to be quiet. I feel that way a lot…(like about the bagillion Miley Cyrus posts out there, for example). The birth of the comment section has done much to bring out the underbelly of humanity. If I leave a comment, it will always be positive one. When it comes to that, I follow the age old rule of “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
That’s probably a good rule to follow! And yes the comment sections is where the real ugly stuff lies.people feel way to comfortable saying things they shouldn’t!