Sometimes I wonder (feel sorry for myself) why I had to have kids with so many food allergy issues. But, then I get a reality check. It really could be a LOT worse. I know that there are lots of families suffering with kids a whole lot sicker than mine. And, for the most part, I’m blessed with 3 healthy children.
But, last night was a rough night. And, this is MY blog, so it’s going to be a pity party for a minute. We were up all night long with Chandler. And, I’m feeling very defeated. He had just started sleeping through the night. We had 5 glorious days of sleeping through the night. And, you see, we started our egg trial this week with him after we found out his IgE allergy test for eggs came back negative. Although Milk was supposedly positive. (what?) But, you would think good news right for the eggs? But, I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have food allergy issues that are so undefined. That aren’t visible by a skin prick test. That are so hard to figure out. Sure, IgE allergies are awful. I know that. But, so is trying to figure out what is making your baby hurt like one huge complicated puzzle when there is no test. There is no simple solution. Lots of times, you just have to go with your gut. And, hope you’re right.
But, then you have to defend yourself to judgmental people. Like, people that judge you because your child is still waking up in the middle of the night. When you try to gently remind them (when you really want to scream at them) that your child is different. He isn’t on normal formula, he doesn’t get that many calories during the day because he can’t eat anything he wants like a normal 1 year old. You know they are rolling their eyes at what you’re saying, so then you feel alone. Like no one gets it.
I was so hopeful that at 1 year we could just introduce milk, get him off this expensive formula, and all would be right with the world. Instead, he is IgE to milk (although not very severe). Eggs are obviously giving him issues (he is waking up screaming from a sound sleep again….feels all too familiar. Not wanting to eat foods he loves. Refluxing after MONTHS of not doing any of these things), and I have a sinking feeling in my gut that the GI is our next stop.
So, just try and be understanding. Don’t tell me what I should be doing to let my baby cry it out, or stop giving him a bottle in the middle of the night. Because what you’re saying basically is that it’s all my fault. That if I want to get up with a baby in the middle of the night then it’s my problem.
Well, it IS my problem. But, let me ask you this. If your child was sick with a fever, would you be taking care of him in the middle of the night? What if he had a horrible cold and just wanted to be held? You would probably do that too. Well, my baby has issues of his own. Food. Normal food that YOUR baby can eat, my baby can’t. Because it makes him miserable. And you better believe that if he is feeling miserable in the middle of the night and all he wants is his momma and a bottle, then I am going to help him feel better. Even if it means sacrificing my own sleep. Sacrificing breastfeeding. Sacrificing my own sanity. Even if it means he doesn’t sleep through the night until he’s 18 months old. Ah hum. Yes, I’m talking about you, Kyle.
OK, off my soap box for now. Want to know more about our journey with FPIES? Go here.
You sound like a very wonderful, dedicated mama. You know what is best for your child, and you are providing that. Take heart in that and ignore the clutter.
I think you’re strong and amazing and you handle each of those gorgeous kids’ challenges so well. Nevermind those rude judgers.
I have been where you are. My oldest has FPIES and possibly celiacs and youngest has IgE to eggs and bananas. My oldest was diagnosed as Failure to Thrive at 11 months and until she was over 18 months would wake up to drink in the middle of the night. At the same time, I had a newborn. It was tiring and like you, I could not bear to hear people tell me to just not give her a bottle because she had to have those night time calories.
All that to say, you are doing what you need to do to keep your child healthy and let the naysayers words go in one ear and out the other.