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By Meredith Ethington

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Chandler FPIES

Food Allergy Rant….

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Sometimes I wonder (feel sorry for myself) why I had to have kids with so many food allergy issues. But, then I get a reality check. It really could be a LOT worse. I know that there are lots of families suffering with kids a whole lot sicker than mine. And, for the most part, I’m blessed with 3 healthy children.

But, last night was a rough night. And, this is MY blog, so it’s going to be a pity party for a minute. We were up all night long with Chandler. And, I’m feeling very defeated. He had just started sleeping through the night. We had 5 glorious days of sleeping through the night. And, you see, we started our egg trial this week with him after we found out his IgE allergy test for eggs came back negative. Although Milk was supposedly positive. (what?) But, you would think good news right for the eggs? But, I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have food allergy issues that are so undefined. That aren’t visible by a skin prick test. That are so hard to figure out. Sure, IgE allergies are awful. I know that. But, so is trying to figure out what is making your baby hurt like one huge complicated puzzle when there is no test. There is no simple solution. Lots of times, you just have to go with your gut. And, hope you’re right.

But, then you have to defend yourself to judgmental people. Like, people that judge you because your child is still waking up in the middle of the night. When you try to gently remind them (when you really want to scream at them) that your child is different. He isn’t on normal formula, he doesn’t get that many calories during the day because he can’t eat anything he wants like a normal 1 year old. You know they are rolling their eyes at what you’re saying, so then you feel alone. Like no one gets it.

I was so hopeful that at 1 year we could just introduce milk, get him off this expensive formula, and all would be right with the world. Instead, he is IgE to milk (although not very severe). Eggs are obviously giving him issues (he is waking up screaming from a sound sleep again….feels all too familiar. Not wanting to eat foods he loves. Refluxing after MONTHS of not doing any of these things), and I have a sinking feeling in my gut that the GI is our next stop.

So, just try and be understanding. Don’t tell me what I should be doing to let my baby cry it out, or stop giving him a bottle in the middle of the night. Because what you’re saying basically is that it’s all my fault. That if I want to get up with a baby in the middle of the night then it’s my problem.

Well, it IS my problem. But, let me ask you this. If your child was sick with a fever, would you be taking care of him in the middle of the night? What if he had a horrible cold and just wanted to be held? You would probably do that too. Well, my baby has issues of his own. Food. Normal food that YOUR baby can eat, my baby can’t. Because it makes him miserable. And you better believe that if he is feeling miserable in the middle of the night and all he wants is his momma and a bottle, then I am going to help him feel better. Even if it means sacrificing my own sleep. Sacrificing breastfeeding. Sacrificing my own sanity. Even if it means he doesn’t sleep through the night until he’s 18 months old. Ah hum. Yes, I’m talking about you, Kyle.

 

OK, off my soap box for now. Want to know more about our journey with FPIES? Go here.


8 Comments

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Comments

  1. homeinawoods says

    January 9, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    You sound like a very wonderful, dedicated mama. You know what is best for your child, and you are providing that. Take heart in that and ignore the clutter.

    Reply
  2. Amy says

    January 12, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    I think you’re strong and amazing and you handle each of those gorgeous kids’ challenges so well. Nevermind those rude judgers.

    Reply
  3. melknee78 says

    January 23, 2013 at 3:44 am

    I have been where you are. My oldest has FPIES and possibly celiacs and youngest has IgE to eggs and bananas. My oldest was diagnosed as Failure to Thrive at 11 months and until she was over 18 months would wake up to drink in the middle of the night. At the same time, I had a newborn. It was tiring and like you, I could not bear to hear people tell me to just not give her a bottle because she had to have those night time calories.
    All that to say, you are doing what you need to do to keep your child healthy and let the naysayers words go in one ear and out the other.

    Reply

Trackbacks

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington
I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process feelings of never measuring up and feeling lIke someone else would do it better than me. 
I don’t feel like this very often anymore. But I know that there are plenty of mothers out there that do. You aren’t alone. 
The experience of Motherhood is definitely something that humbles even the most confident mothers. 
I wasn’t one to have much confidence once I began but I got there eventually. 
If you’re in this headspace of wondering if you’re enough I’m here to tell you:
1. You are. 
2. This is NORMAL. 
3. This post is for you. 
Read it on my substack now and consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. ❤️ It supports me as I hopefully support you.
I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored
I see nothing wrong here. I see nothing wrong here.
Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ik Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ikeahack #jokesfordays
This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At s This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At some point it got passed down to one of her grandchildren. Then it made its way to my house and all three of my kids have used it too. 
My middle decided he was done with it and I had no idea what to do with it. It’s almost an antique at this point and I knew my mom felt sentimental about it. It’s heavy and tiny but it has good bones as they say. 
My mom lives too far away to come get it and the grandkids are all getting too big to want this desk in their rooms. 
I walked around my little house looking for a spot for it. There really isn’t one. 
Could it be an end table? Or swapped out for an entry table? 
But then I walked into my bedroom and saw this bare wall. It’s not ideal. My husband will hate it. But I’ve been thinking that I needed a study spot in my house (in a room with a door that shuts and locks) since I’m in school again at 46 years old. 
I’m hilariously too big for this little desk but also it seems just fine for sitting and writing papers. 
The older I get, the more I realize that this life is short and I’m sure it will make my mom happy to know I’m not only hanging onto this desk a little while longer but it’s going to be used for actual school work again instead of hoarding useless scraps of paper, half filled notebooks and dull crayons no one has touched in years. 
I’m breathing life back into this desk for a few more years and it seems symbolic of my taking something old (me) and using it for something new (becoming a therapist). 
I’m not super sentimental about furniture but I’m sentimental about the people that I love. 
She loves this desk so I guess I’ll love it a little longer on her behalf. ❤️
🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: 🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: "I feel depressed that it’s back, when I had been handling things so well.
I feel hopeless that although I know it will end, that it will come back again.
I feel embarrassed that I’m sometimes mean to the ones I love most.
I feel like I want to give up.
I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed by the tiniest thing.
I feel alone. I feel like I’m literally the only one feeling that way in that moment even though I know I’m not deep down. But, anxiety makes me feel like that.
I feel like I just would be better off if I could disappear."
First day back after a week long vacay to the fun First day back after a week long vacay to the fun of carpool and the reality of being a responsible adult is kicking my boot-ay. Can you tell? 😅
Yup. 😂 @themumcrew Yup. 😂 @themumcrew
Best thrift find ever. 😂 Best thrift find ever. 😂
Mental health matters. ❤️ Mental health matters. ❤️
You get the full tour if you’re my friend. You get the full tour if you’re my friend.
Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑 Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑
Just like building muscles in our body, to have go Just like building muscles in our body, to have good mental health we need to build muscles in our brains as well. What does that look like? 

For me, it often looks like practicing things that make me uncomfortable. 
Saying no. Setting boundaries. Sitting in discomfort with feelings I don't like. Being OK if someone is mad at me. Learning to validate MYSELF. You get the idea. 
But, really it can be anything that you need to work on but makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable. So much so that it feels like your brain is literally rejecting it. If you want to build that muscle in your brain that is OK with disappointing people in favor of your own mental health, you have to treat it like muscle building in your body. 

1. Do it often enough. 
2. Start small, and work your way up. 
3. Go heavy when you're ready. 

Practicing it often enough is really when you're going to get big results. Soon you'll get used to those negative feelings that come along with telling someone no and knowing they're disappointed. You'll build up endurance to tolerate the feelings and be able to sit with them and let them go. And finally, it will become second nature to you to do all those things you didn't think you could do. Just like strength training for a marathon - consider strength training for your mind. 

One thing I'm working on is telling myself I'm OK. I struggle with seeking validation from others when really I need to be seeking validation from myself. Because MYSELF is good, worthy, and OK 99% of the time. 

What are you practicing right now? I'd love to hear if this is true for you.
Love this so much. @nellie_scales Love this so much. @nellie_scales
If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, conside If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber on Substack where you won’t miss any of my posts. Here’s the latest - link in profile. 

#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigmamentalillness
For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. My latest on substack. ❤️ Link in profile
Truth right here. Truth right here.
Same girl, same. Same girl, same.
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