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By Meredith Ethington

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Humor In the Motherhood Motherhood Parenting

How to Act Like a Crazy Person. Or in Other Words, A Kid.

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The other day in the car I was listening to a favorite song and I sweetly said to my little boy, “Kyle, I dedicate this song to you.” He made a face that was somewhere between looking like he was going to cry or going to get sick. My husband and I laughed. I love how kids can wear their hearts on their sleeves, practically get away with murder, and we still love them for it.

What if grown ups acted like kids? What could we get away with? Maybe we should try it some time. People would definitely think there was something wrong with us. But, maybe, just maybe we might get away with something. Because, we would look like a crazy person after all.

Here are a few ideas of how to act like a crazy person, or in other words, a kid.

Wake up, run into the next room and without caring for the other person’s need for sleep, jump on their bed. Demand food. When you don’t like it, throw it on the floor, buck like a bronco, and then refuse to eat anything else despite the fact that you are, indeed, starving.

The first time you don’t get your way, throw yourself onto the floor in a heap, screaming, crying and kicking your feet. Laugh hysterically five minutes later when you accidentally fart.

Voice every ache or pain out loud to those around you. Include the saying, “My tummy hurts” as often as possible. This can be when it is full, hungry, burpy, gassy, hiccupy, or truly hurting.

How to Act Like a Crazy Person to sleep when tired, then fall asleep in a plate of food, in the middle of a conversation, or in a shopping cart. Wake up angry, and screaming.

Love yourself unabashedly and say completely narcissistic things like, “I love that picture. Because it’s of me.” (a quote from my Kyle this week).

Find a bug. Name it a name like “lady”, for ladybug. Talk to it.  Carry it around everywhere, and make sure to give it a nickname like “two” because it has two spots. Put it in a glass jar to suffocate it and then cry when it dies.

Say random things at dinner to whoever you are dining with like,  “I am holding my belly button.” Maybe the other will behave like a kid and quickly reply, “Oooh. I’m going to hold my belly button, too!”

When someone makes you mad cutting you off in traffic, try sticking out your tongue instead of using your not-so-polite finger.

Invent your own dance. Show everyone as soon as it comes into your mind. Say, “Watch this” at least ten times while doing virtually the same thing over and over.

Laugh when someone says not to.

Cry when you get really tired. Make sure you stretch out your words in the whiniest voice possible, “But, I’m toooo tiiiiiired to turn in that report, sir.”

Run. Everywhere.

When you are with someone that is in a hurry, walk slowly. Smell the roses. Take time to organize your wallet.

Ignore some advice five minutes after it was given. Then respond with, “I forgot” or “Not me” when they try to call you out on your bad behavior.

Color or scribble on something of value to someone. When they get mad, remind them that you forgot, or that it wasn’t you.

Refuse to go to the bathroom. Then pee on yourself an hour later.

Eat something regularly at least 5 times and love it. Then, the next time, refuse it and say you hate it.

When a person is talking to you about something important, look them straight in the eyes the entire time. When they are done, respond with something completely unrelated like, “monkey”.

When someone accidentally brushes up against you scream, “STOP TOUCHING ME!” Make sure you tell someone else that they touched you. Make it clear to the third party that you were not happy about it. At all.

Cry when someone you love leaves the room.

Follow someone you love around everywhere. Even to the bathroom. Make sure you walk as closely behind them as possible, but quietly so as to go undetected. Trip them if necessary.

Ask someone to carry you. Cry when they won’t.

Demand food. Right before a big meal that someone is making for you. Throw yourself on the floor when they ask you to wait. Exclaim that you are going to die from hunger if you don’t eat something right that second.

Last, but not least, run around wild, screaming, even naked if necessary right when it’s time to go to bed. When someone reminds you that you should go to sleep, get crazier and louder. Run more, play hide and seek. Laugh when they try to catch you. When the person tries to restrain you, collapse into a deep sleep causing that person to let you skip bathing yourself. Make sure you look like an angel while you sleep so that person misses you and wants to do it all over again the next day.

Tip: Make sure you look cute while doing all of the above behaviors. That is essential. 

I mean, seriously. We do this everyday? But, we love it. (For the most part). Maybe we are the ones that are crazy. They seem to have it figured out.


30 Comments

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Comments

  1. Toni says

    August 12, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    LOVED this! AND the pictures are priceless! xoxo

    Reply
  2. donofalltrades says

    August 12, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    Oh my god, it’s like you followed me around this weekend and then blogged about it!!!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 12, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      Nope. Just living my own life every. freaking. day. 🙂

      Reply
  3. TraceyLynnTobin says

    August 12, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    Best. Post. Ever. Absolutely everything you listed is on my daughter’s “I’m going to do this every day to see if I can drive mommy to drink” list. lol

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 12, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      Ha! Thank you. Yes, unfortunately, they make us crazy. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Perfectly Imperfect says

    August 12, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    I am cracking up to the point of tears. Loved this A LOT, just what I needed to read.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 12, 2013 at 7:14 pm

      Thanks! 🙂 It was a fun one to write.

      Reply
  5. bensbitterblog says

    August 13, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Sounds like what my wife puts up with everyday. With the kids too.

    Reply
  6. Louise says

    August 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Thanks – I needed this laugh in the middle of my day 🙂 So many times I wish I could act like my 3 year old in public and have it be in any way socially acceptable 😉

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 13, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Glad I could help! Yes, I wish someone would push me around in a giant stroller for long strolls around the neighborhood. 🙂

      Reply
  7. the jay train says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:28 am

    Hi. I linked over to you from Amber Perea’s blog. I’m soooo glad I did. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a looong time. Funny because it’s all so true. Is it possible that we are all raising the same kids?

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 14, 2013 at 9:29 am

      DEFINITELY!! Crazy isn’t it?

      Reply
  8. aliciabenton says

    August 14, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Ah, I love this!! Now STOP LOOKING AT ME. AND DON’T BREATHE ON ME!

    Reply
  9. Lindsey Williams says

    August 16, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Perfect! My favorite was “trip them if necessary”

    Reply
  10. Hollow Tree Ventures says

    January 28, 2014 at 9:47 am

    YES. I want to do all this stuff, EXCEPT the nap avoidance. That’s just crazy, kids. Thanks for leaving me your link!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 28, 2014 at 10:20 am

      Thanks for stopping by!! 🙂 Let me know when you want to scream in public together.

      Reply
  11. Lynne Childress says

    March 31, 2014 at 7:58 am

    I was also going to say it’s like you see into my life. Kids are cray-cray.

    Reply
  12. Christy@SweetandSavoring says

    March 31, 2014 at 8:24 am

    I love this awesome list! The one about slowing down when someone is in a hurry is so so true. Kids are the ultimate lesson in patience and just going with the flow.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 31, 2014 at 8:30 am

      Yes. I’ve written a few blog posts about patience. That’s for sure!

      Reply
  13. Rabia @TheLiebers says

    March 31, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Sounds like my house!! Don’t forget to run around in all directions playing and screaming and having fun; then demand to be carried when it’s time to go to the car because your “legs are tired.”

    Reply
  14. Susie (The Esthetic Goddess) says

    March 31, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    This is so darn cute! I have to say the hubby and I actually do some of these ourselves! My boys are all grown up but we are not!!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 31, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      Thanks! So glad you stopped by!! xoxo

      Reply
  15. Krystle Cook says

    March 31, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    This is dead on my kids. Heck, every kid. It reminds me of those Halo commericals lol.

    Reply
  16. Jenny says

    March 31, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I swear I’ll miss it when mine grows up and acts “normal”… oh to be a child again when almost anything can be forgiven! Such a cute list – glad I stopped by from SITS today!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      March 31, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      Thanks for stopping by! Yes, ALMOST anything can be forgiven. 🙂

      Reply
  17. NailCentric says

    April 1, 2014 at 1:51 am

    Had so much fun with this post! I must admit I sometimes do similar things on purpose but when I follow the ‘look cute’ tip I can get away with it 🙂

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Story of a Stolen Photo | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    August 21, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    […] mainly for friends and family that live far away and want to hear cute stories about my kids. And, a photo makes a blog post funnier. Or more enticing. More personal. Photos are better. […]

    Reply
  2. Motherhood Made Me Realize My Life Has Purpose | Perfection Pending says:
    March 1, 2014 at 12:04 am

    […] girl, suck the fun out of those kids!) She has such a REAL take on what being a mom is like. From acting crazy to answering the tough questions kids ask, Meredith hits the nail on the head for me. It’s […]

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  3. I Will Never Have Perfect Patience. And You Probably Won’t Either. | Perfection Pending says:
    March 3, 2014 at 7:52 am

    […] They invented crazy town. […]

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  4. Perfection Pending - The SITS Girls says:
    March 31, 2014 at 7:32 am

    […] Posts: I’m Not Just Raising Little Boys. I’m Trying to Raise Good Men How to Act Like a Crazy Person, Or in Other Words, A Kid […]

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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