Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Be Brave Guest Post Series Guest Bloggers Guest Post Humor Motherhood Parenting

I’m Brave Because I Stick To It.

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I love Katy’s post today, because I think we can all relate to feeling a little like, compared to others we just aren’t that brave. There are definitely plenty of moms that are braver than I am. But, I love her perspective, because I’ve also dreamt of far off places without so much responsibility and stinky bums and sometimes, just being there everyday is bravery. She’s honest, and funny, and I’m glad she decided to participate in this fun series. Make sure you check out her blog afterward! If you want to be part of my Be Brave guest post series, go here.

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There are so many stories out there of brave mothers.

Mother’s lifting cars off of children or living through the pain of losing a child.

I never thought I was a brave mother. I still don’t think I’m that brave, except for when Iimage58 peek into my baby’s diaper. You never know what kind of a mess you are going to find and that is extraordinary braveness in my book.

I found out about the “brave guest post” and decided to take a swing at it. I thought about it for months and months. I realized there were a few times I was brave, for the sake of my children.

image (94)Some examples were when I left my abusive ex-husband so my 9-month old son would not be raised in that environment, when I went back to school to provide a better life for my son and myself and when I remarried a man, even though I was terrified he would be the same as the first, who loved me and my son so deeply.

Some people say going through an entire pregnancy, delivery and two months with a new baby while my husband was in Afghanistan, was brave. Personally DSC_1830-77I think it was dumb (and very unplanned).bye19

Yes, I am brave, I don’t think it often, but I know I am, in everyday things and in over-the-top-scary-life-changing-things.

So let’s get to the thing I am most brave about – sticking to it.

I had a “dad” that ran away from his two daughters. He wanted little to nothing to do with us and came and went as it was easy for him. This was always devastating to me and I never understood how someone could do that to a child.

079Now that I have kids, I think about running away on a daily minute basis. I dream about moving to a big city and working for a huge Public Relations firm. I think about vacations without kids, just my girlfriends, no responsibility, no screaming and no wiping poopy little bottoms.

Please don’t misunderstand, I love my children, I love them more than I will ever be able to express. This is probably their and my saving grace.

I think back to my “sperm donor” and realize I could totally be him. I could leave in an instant and never look back. It would definately be much easier than sticking around, feeling inadequate, every second of most every day.

I could do that.

I won’t do that.

109I love my children and I know that as inadequate as I feel, they need and love me. They rely on me and I rely on them. I wouldn’t ever leave them, I may never let them leave me in fact!

I may continue to day dream of beaches and quiet but I will continue to be brave. I will continue to break the fatherless/motherless cycle. I will be brave, as I have been each and every day since the birth of my first born.

Each and every mother, and of course father, is brave for sticking to it. Sticking by our kids when the going gets rough, when our kids are hurt and our hearts are breaking for them.130 We are brave to conquer the science projects at the last minute, the t-ball practices ending in a loss – or even a win, the fighting and of course the lovely whining.

Each of us has it in us to be brave each day and stick to it. Maybe others have an easier time sticking to it, maybe it isn’t in their blood to want to leave all responsibility behind. So for me, being brave each and everyday, is continuing on with a smile, or sometimes tears running down my face, for my sweet boys.

130Now I have to be brave and go peek into the baby’s diaper…

 

 

 

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1450962_756006524416769_1270844227_nKaty Gibbs blogs over at Earningourstripes.org. She is the mother of two rambunctious little boys and wife to her hero. She is an entrepreneur and has many business going at the moment and loves to write about daily happenings in a way that will make people laugh. She believes it is better to laugh than cry and that she can always do hard things – and earn her stripes daily.


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Comments

  1. Jenna @ Transforming Into Butterflies says

    May 24, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Interesting post. I can relate to the day dreaming about running away thing. I do this too… I often find myself when I am tired day dreaming if returning to my old life of no responsabilities and parties. I could never really leave my baby though.. I just often find being a mama overwhelming and the day dreams of my old life is my minds way of dealing with that 🙂

    Reply
  2. Strahlen says

    June 7, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    Katy, I love this post. I am a single mom of five boys. My husband left suddenly half way throughout the pregnancy of our 5th little guy (also a surprise pregnancy). I absolutely adore my boys, and that 5th little one (now 4) is such a shining light to all of us, but I also get tired sometimes. I would never do leave. I can see how their father could think his life is easier with his new girlfriend and their carefree lifestyle, but I’ve realized easier is not always better. Thank you for this post. I am so glad to see you have found a good man to love you and your boys. Thank him (and all of you!) for his service. I know the life of a single mom of five would be very different in most other parts of the world. God Bless…

    Reply

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  1. Guest post - Earning Our Stripes says:
    May 24, 2014 at 2:51 pm

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
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I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

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WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

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