Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Janet Jackson Channel on Pandora. A Glimpse into my Teen Years.

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Today, I was cleaning my bathrooms, and needed a little pick me up. So, I turned on Pandora. The Janet Jackson channel. Three songs in, I was dancing to Bell Biv Devoe’s 1990 chart topper, “Poison” and my almost two year old thought I looked rather silly, I’m sure. At least he was smiling a lot.

There were songs from TLC (you KNOW you still like the chasing waterfalls song/want to kill someone if you ever have to listen to it again), and Michael Jackson, of course. Dad-I don’t care what you say, “Billie Jean” is not a good song to play at a church dance.

But, as I listened to these amazing 90’s songs that I loved back in the day, I realized that I was 13 and listening to some rather interesting music. And, by “interesting”, I mean a tad bit inappropriate for a 13 year old.

“Gettin paid, laid, so better lay low
Schemin on house, money, and the whole show
The low pro hoe she’ll be cut like an aaa-FRO
See what you’re sayin’, huh, she’s a winner to you
But I know she’s a loser (How do you know?)
Me and the crew used to do her!”

Yikes. So, yeah. That could be a tad bit disturbing.

Toni Braxton “You’re making me high”  That was an album I owned. And, listened to a LOT. Granted, I was 19 at the time, but still.  Those lyrics weren’t exactly innocent.

And, TLC’s “CrazySexyCool” CD. Had that one too. I was 17. None of those songs are in appropriate at all. Nope. They’re just about waterfalls, and how you shouldn’t chase them.

Michael Jackson, “Smooth Criminal.” Nothing like adding a little bit of violence to the mix.

I was thinking about this as I realized that I was glad my almost two-year-old was just happy to be playing with a squirt bottle and a rag, and wasn’t paying attention to song lyrics. Let’s all be grateful about that.

I don’t know what’s more shocking….the fact that a mormon, Texan, white girl from a middle class neighborhood was that much into R&B that she can now sing every lyric of “Poison” 23 years later, or the fact that the lyrics were so….well, inappropriate. I will chalk it up to the fact that my Dad was/is a DJ and always had a plethora of music in the house. And, we were watching an insane amount of MTV probably. I did have an 18 year old brother in the house at the time too. Sorry, Dad. I know you’re going to call me as soon as you read this post.

But, then I think about the stuff our kids our obsessed with now. And, in fact, I will admit that I’m not entirely sure what a current 13 year old is obsessed with, but I’m going to guess it might be One Direction, or Taylor Swift? Is Bieber out? I really don’t have a clue. I know people are all up in arms about Miley Cyrus and her scandals, but, let’s say for fun that these are the songs our tween/teens are listening to. It really could be worse couldn’t it? K. Maybe the Miley example was a bad one, but I was listening to songs about drugs, jailbirds, fathers not owning up to children that may or may not have been theirs, and girls with big butts and a beautiful smile.

poison

And, this song proves you cannot trust me, apparently.

I mean, I’d rather my 13 year old be listening to Taylor Swift’s recent break-up woes than what I was listening to as a teen. I do highly recommend this station for cleaning your bathrooms, though.

But, hey, I turned out OK. Even though I still know every word to “Blame it on the Rain”.

 

Yeah, Yeah.

rtt-new

 


5 Comments

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Comments

  1. The Waiting says

    October 15, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    I have a very vivid memory of my aunt telling me as a kid that she always listened to Janet Jackson when she was cleaning her house too! What are the odds? ;D

    Also, TLC was amaaaaazing. I miss them so much. Now I’m off to listen to Creep….

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 15, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      Ha! Creep. Yep, that one played on that station too. It’s a good one!

      Reply
  2. ginjuh says

    October 17, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    All of these, yes!

    Reply
  3. AreYouFinishedYet says

    October 20, 2013 at 10:49 am

    It’s so true. A couple years ago a few friends and I took a road trip back up to our old college town. To celebrate the occasion, I made a mixed CD of a bunch of 90’s songs that were popular. As we listened to them, it struck me how dirty so many of them really were. And kind of how ridiculous a lot of the lyrics were. But I still can’t get enough of them

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      October 20, 2013 at 3:11 pm

      I know! Seriously.

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

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I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

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