Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Easter

Just Us

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My husband said to me yesterday, ‘Do you realize that you only see Spring maybe 80 times or so in your life? When you think about it, it’s not that common of an experience”. I had never thought about that before. Just the same, there are no perfect days in parenting. But, some days come close. They aren’t that often either. But, you recognize them when they come with stark clarity because of the days that aren’t so perfect.

We decided to forgo a larger family gathering and just focus on being with our children this Easter. It paid off. We had a great time. More than great, we felt like it was as close to perfection as we could have gotten for Easter. Not because other people weren’t there, but just because we we felt we actually got to spend time with our kids. Focus on them. Hear their thoughts. Bond as a family. Teach them about the important aspects of the holiday.

We made all the comfort foods even though it was just us and the kids, we hunted for eggs, ate too much candy, went to church, took naps, ran down to Temple Square (where we were married), and took some great pictures. Just us. The FIVE of us.

I am the type of person where I have always wanted to spend the holidays with as much family as is available. It’s just so fun to have cousins around, and other adults to talk to. But, this year, we just wanted it to be just us. Sure, we missed being with family on that special day, but we used the china even though it was just us. We celebrated and realized that our family of 5 is enough sometimes.

We definitely feel big enough  now that there are 3 little ones to chase after.

The thing is, I realized that “just us” is OK. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love being with our other family. But, sometimes, it’s nice to have memories that are quieter. Simpler. And, that bond you together for a lifetime and beyond. We went back to  the spot where we had our wedding reception and showed the kids. We had a wedding photo taken in this very spot. Now our 3 little ones sit there.

b&w5

Sure, we spend a lot of time together anyway. Geez. We are ALWAYS together at this stage in our lives. But, when you make a point to be together. To focus on the important things. To teach, and hug, and just have fun being together, it can do a lot for the soul.

I feel so blessed for my family of “just us”.  Despite the difficulties and frustrations that come in the day to day of taking care of these little ones, they make me so happy. Like when Kyle said to me today, “Mommy! Chandler just bless you’d all over me!” You can’t possibly take it for granted on days like this. I’m so blessed to have a husband that is truly an example of charity and love. I couldn’t ask for more. Except maybe for this weather to last forever.

P1040032

Spotting an egg in action
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This kid was on the MOVE

I couldn’t have asked for a better Easter, or a better family to share it with this year.

 


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Comments

  1. Rayna Drago says

    April 1, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    See…you made me all happy inside. Thanks! Glad you had a perfect day. The pic with the kids and then your wedding pic right under…got me. Just so sweet. Funny at that moment in your pic at your wedding you never even had the thought that years later you would be back at the same spot with your 3 kids, right? Amazing what happens in time. 🙂

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      April 1, 2013 at 3:30 pm

      I know. It was crazy because even though we go down there all the time, we had never been in the back where the gardens were where we had our reception. It was our first time going back to that exact spot in almost 11 years!

      Reply
  2. donofalltrades says

    April 1, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Good for you! Plus there’s more ham for you that way! Win win!

    Reply
  3. Amber Perea says

    April 1, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    Gorgeous pictures! When are Chandler’s freckles going to come in? He looks like the odd man out! 😉

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      April 1, 2013 at 5:51 pm

      He has one on his forehead! One!! So funny.

      Reply
  4. Ashley Austrew says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    I love their outfits! So cute. And sometimes you need to keep the holidays small and just be together and enjoy the day. Your husband is right: you don’t get that many.

    Reply
  5. Liz @ TheLambentLife says

    April 1, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    Your kiddos are adorable! We really enjoy holidays with just our little family. Sure, we miss seeing everyone and memories of our larger families but it’s less stress and less time making sure everyone is happy.

    Reply
  6. Robyn Gobbel, LCSW says

    April 1, 2013 at 8:14 pm

    Perfect 🙂

    Reply
  7. drandrearyan says

    April 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    Lovely post. 🙂 I’d like to see a minimum of 103 springs but even that number isn’t enough. Great reminder.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Some Days Just Suck | Faking Picture Perfect says:
    May 9, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    […] my load of whites, and pulled out my daughter’s beautiful, blue, easter dress she wore in these adorable photos. I started searching frantically to see if I had ruined it by bleaching it, and thought I was in […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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