Mom Vs. Kids, It’s All A Matter of What You Hear

I ran across this hilariousness yesterday and could really relate. But, decided the list needed a few more.

Here are what my kids tend to hear when it’s not exactly what comes out of my mouth.

Mom Vs. Kids– It’s all a matter of what you hear.

What I say: “Why don’t you go play quietly in your playroom for 5 more minutes.”

What the kid hears: “Come interrupt me 5 more times and ask me 10 more questions.”

What I say: “Go potty before we go out so you don’t have to go at a public restaurant”

What the kid hears: “Wait as long as possible to go potty and then dance around screaming, ‘I have to poop!’ while we are in the middle of eating.

What I say: “Eat your vegetables or you won’t get dessert”

What the kid hears: “It’s time for dessert, so stop eating everything and ask me 10 times if you can have a cookie now”.

What I say: “Act really good in Target, and mommy will think about buying you a treat after”

What the kid hears: “You can still have a treat after you have a meltdown on every other aisle and act like a crazy lunatic climbing shelves and breaking things I had no intention of buying”

What I say: “Look both ways and hold my hand”

What the kid hears: “Run with reckless abandon out into the parking lot at full speed”

What I say: “Bath time!”

What the kid hears: “Streak and shriek time!”

What I say: “Watch your little brother for 2 minutes while I take the trash out.”

What the kid hears: “Go play with sharp objects in a closet and involve your little brother too”

What I say: “Time for bed!”

What the kid hears: “Ask me for water, another hug, a bedtime story, another hug, tell me your hungry, ask for another hug, climb out of your bed and into your brother’s, tell me you’re scared, and ask again for another hug.

Happy Sunday! Hope your kids hear all the right things today so that you can relax. Unlikely, I know.