Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Please Accept My Apology For Being Socially Awkward

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So you know how I said that I annoy myself that one time? Well, apparently, I also embarrass myself. Ahem. About that post yesterday….

I went to bed last night and was thinking about it. And, suddenly became ridiculously embarrassed by it. Why? Well, I don’t know. For one, I took a selfie. UGH!! And, two, it all felt a little too narcissistic. Who cares about my gray hairs but me? And, three, it seemed like I was fishing for compliments. I wasn’t. It just all felt like a stretch. I don’t think all happy and positive thoughts about my wrinkles! Like, ever. But, I guess that’s why I love writing, because it does allow me to think more positively. Almost all the time, if I can just write out what I’m feeling, I see the flaws in my thinking, and can correct them. Sometimes, it’s just an embarrassing result.

I sat in front of the computer yesterday trying to think of something to write, and my mind was literally blank. Then I remembered those pictures. And decided to make a blog post out of it. It was still true. I mean, c’mon, we should all love ourselves more. And, I was reading about the word antique, and I DID have all those thoughts, but I don’t know. It just felt all too wrapped up in myself. Bleh.

But, I’ve decided I won’t delete blog posts I hate. I will just quickly post something else in the hopes that no one else will remember that one time I wrote about my gray hairs. That photo of Jack Nicholson was priceless though. I don’t regret that.

Moving on.

Today, I’ve been ridiculously productive. Mopped my floors at 7 am, shopped for and successfully bought all my daughter’s school supplies, and then came home, fed two kids, and cleaned two bathrooms. Now, I’m celebrating by letting my kids play a video game while I sit here and blog about how embarrassingly awkward I can be.

So, let’s move onto something I think I need to get off my chest.

I hate sand.

I especially hate sand on small children.

Combine that with RED sand (who knew there was such a thing?) and it just makes me plain grouchy.

Like sand itself isn’t bad enough, we have to make it RED???

In Texas, we had this red clay  IRON ORE SOIL (thanks for calling me and correcting me, Dad. On a side note-iron ore is a “deposit in clay soil that can stain your toilet and other fixtures.” I bet you will all sleep better tonight knowing that. And, in GA, there is a red GA clay that is even worse!! He wanted you all to know that). It was hard as concrete, and by no means could pass as dirt. But, everyone had it….And, if you were unfortunate enough to get caught in a rainstorm in your new white shoes in it? Forget it. You might as well kiss your Keds good-bye. I’m assuming that the red clay iron ore soil is still there in Texas (and GA), but I don’t miss it.

And, then I went to a garden museum place with some friends yesterday, and there it was. A giant VAT of red sand. I had flashbacks of the red clay that my parents used to curse growing up. I scanned what my kids were wearing, and I started panicking. Out loud, of course.  What if it doesn’t come out? Don’t sit down in it. Crap. Chandler has his best shoes on. Avery, you’re all wet! (they had a splash pad too) don’t get sand on your dress.

My sweet friend, Rayna, who for some odd reason loves me despite all my issues, just said, “Well, what’s the worst that could happen? They ruin their clothes that they are going to grow out of anyways”.

rather-sticking-meditation-chronic-cry-for-help-ecard-someecards

Hmmm. Well, when you put it that way. Please excuse me for being so awkward about my issues. So, I laughed at myself being so high strung about everything, and I made a secret list in my head of why I hate sand so much.

Here are at least 10 reasons I hate sand.

Sand hides in hair

Sand in between toes

Sand in my car

Sand sticks to wet stuff (and wet little people)

Sand flies in your eyes and makes you cry if you are 4.

Sand gets in your mouth and you don’t even know how/why

Sand lingers like a friend you can’t get rid of

Sand is grainy

Sand is basically dirt that we like to think is “clean” dirt. I bet it’s not.

Sand is hot when it has been sitting in the sun and it is red.

Why do people love the beach? I just don’t get it. And, more importantly, why do I have a sandbox in my backyard?

I feel so much better now. And the shoes?

P1040545

I washed them, and they look brand-spanking new. All those heart palpitations for NOTHING!

 


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Comments

  1. Rayna says

    August 7, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    I am sitting here literally laughing out loud! You should have seen my bathtub yesterday!! Sand does suck! You are so freakin’ hilarious! I ADORE you…including all your “issues” which I find very endearing. And I LOVED your blog post yesterday!! Really…it was one of my favorites you have written.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 7, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      Thanks! The feeling is mutual. And, I’m sorry, but that blog post yesterday was embarrassing. But, I’m moving on…..

      Reply
  2. The Water Bearer says

    August 7, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    Yep That about sums up me too! I hate sand I have these same issues! You are not alone… Thanks for the laugh! Blessings to you!

    Reply
  3. Frantic Mama says

    August 7, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    Thanks for stopping by Frantic Mama. I’ve read your blog before too– I really like it. AND I also really liked your post from yesterday. Sometimes I cringe when I notice the gray in my hair…they creep up on me! And you get extra credit for coming up with a braid. My two looks are: ponytail or half up in a clip.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 7, 2013 at 6:47 pm

      Ha! yeah, I have maybe 3. Braid is definitely my up look, but I want it to look like I actually “fixed it”. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Perfectly Imperfect says

    August 8, 2013 at 6:56 am

    I hate, hate, hate sand. I always say the beach is just a huge sand box. My kids would’ve gone nuts over the fact that it was red and I would’ve too (just a different kind of nuts).

    P.S. I enjoyed your “embarrassing” post, more power to you for refusing to delete posts. I wish I was strong enough not to delete anything.

    Reply
  5. bensbitterblog says

    August 8, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Sand is also endless.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      August 8, 2013 at 12:36 pm

      yes!

      Reply
  6. K.C. Wise says

    August 8, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    This is such an adorable post! I love the beach, but hate the sand. I just hate when it ends up in the comfy soft sanctuary places in the house–like the couch and the beds. Whenever we go to the beach and come home, I have a “quarantine” area where EVERYBODY strips so I can wash EVERYTHING.

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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