I have a headache. I woke up with one today, tried some allergy medicine, and it still won’t go away. Even the precious Diet Coke won’t fix it.
So, my blog is kind of low priority lately. There is a lot to do (which is probably giving me the headache), and for some reason, I’m in complete denial that I’m moving in like two weeks. But, I want to write. I feel the need to write. But, all I can think about is how many boxes I have to pack, my lesson I have to teach in church on Sunday, the fact that I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow for Kyle, closing on a house the next day, blah blah blah blah blah. I’ve got a lot of crap to do.
I have been patting myself on the back the past couple of days for my good mood, and my patience with the kiddos. And my productivity has been through the roof. But, this morning, I didn’t want to do a thing. Funny how that works huh? But, I got up and kept moving. And, today, my favorite search engine term was, “i’m sick of being positive pictures”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This still is making me laugh just thinking about it. And, it made me want to write something.
Do I ever get sick of being positive? Umm. Yes. Because, guess what? I really DO try to be positive. If you read this post, or this one, or this one, you will notice that I always at least try to wrap up on a positive note. But, in my head, it’s an every second battle.
Because, here’s a news flash, I’m not naturally an overly positive person. I’ve said before that I view myself as somewhere in the middle. I don’t want to see perfection. I want to see honesty. But, honesty can be ugly to some.
MAYBE, some people are perfectly positive. But, I am not.
Does this mean I’m miserable? No. In fact, I’m happy being me. When I’m allowed to be me. In fact, I’m happy being able to complain when I want. I’m happy being sarcastic. I’m not a mean person, I just like to not sugar coat things. I like it when I don’t have to fake perfection. I’m happy when I can say, “This sucks” and a friend, or family member laughs with me and says, “Yes. Yes it does.” Then, I can move on. And, realize that life is hard, and you still have to keep on living. And, keep on trying to be the best person you can be.
Yet, the perception that this creates among some people is that I want to be negative. But, I do not. I just want to be honest. Maybe my view on the world is not reality. And, that’s OK. It’s my reality. And, I trust that there is a loving God that knows the true reality, even when I do not.
Some days suck. And, sometimes we are misunderstood. But, as my Grandma Erwin always used to say, “As long as you and God knows what’s right, that’s all that matters.”
So, He knows my heart. He knows my good and bad thoughts. He knows I’m not perfect. He knows my personality. He knows my weaknesses and will turn them into strengths if I let Him. He knows that I am good. He knows that I try. He knows that I want to be better, stronger, and more like Him.
So, yes, sometimes, I get sick of being positive. But, this gives me motivation:
Hmmmm. Whatever it takes, right? Where do you lie? Do you think you are a positive or negative person, or somewhere in the middle?
I don’t know that I am positive, but I do try to be mindful and to tune in to the negative thoughts to discern if they are really true or just my emotions getting away with me. . . No one is perfect, sigh. Hope your head feels better.
Yes. That’s why I blog. It helps me work it all out and figure out where I need to change my thinking.
Copy that!!
You reek of positivity! Who are you anymore?
I know, right? I’m obviously lost right now!
Moving is very stressful. I expect that you’ll get settled in and get back to being you in a few weeks.
Lol We all know where I stand on that but I would have to say that I am far from perfect. I think most of it stems from having a life fraught with hardships. When you rose up from difficult beginnings…no matter what life throws at you, you are prepared. Wisdom comes from a lifetime of mistakes, right?
I’ve got a thick skin and a positive soul. Yes, sometimes life can suck but I truly believe that there is always a silver lining. I’m annoying, huh? 😉
In general I am positive person. I just view myself negatively. We are always our worst critic. Obviously I see myself as imperfect, but we all are.
I do hate those negative days though, hope tomorrow is a better day.
Yes. It is hard to always view ourselves in a positive light all the time.
You can quiet the mind, but how do you quiet your kids minds!
Good question!!!
I think I am a positive person, but definitely not the type that will live vivid, joyfully, every single day, every single week. I wish! But I’m not. I’m more of a positive person when it comes to the future, when it comes to horrible life situations. I always see the light at the end, I never stop living and I never give up, and is because I always trust God, that He will be there with me. But I’m so imperfect on a daily basis. I think there are days that are better than others, and that’s fine too.
I agree! I’m the exact same way.
I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m not sure that all of us can be “positive” all the time (positive in the colloquial sense). We can seek to be emotionally well, to be grateful, and to see joy. Some of us are just born being less chipper.
I’m reading Team of Rivals right now (I know, that’s the literary equivalent of name dropping), and the author talks about how Lincoln had a ‘melancholy’ disposition. She says that that’s often confused with depression, but he was only documented to be depressed once. He would regularly withdraw into “the solitude of thought” which turned out to be very productive. She said this temperament is common with artists, writers, thinkers and creators, and that it’s thought to help them create. He adapted to his melancholy using humor and compassion. Anyway, that gave me some insight into myself as well as him (not that I’m like Lincoln but you get the idea).
Very interesting! Maybe I should check that book out!!
I know it’s random to quote books in the blog comment section, but I couldn’t resist. I’d just read it and it’s so applicable.
Not random! I love it. Thanks. 🙂