Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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Guest Post In the Motherhood Motherhood Parenting Parenting Tips Practical Tips Uncategorized

Quiz: How to Tell if You’re a Good Mom

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Have you ever wondered if you’re a good mom? If you’re making the right parenting choices? Look no further than this comprehensive quiz, covering a wide array of parenting topics. But be honest! Now’s not the time to pick the response you think is considered the popular choice.

Are YOU a good Mom?

Choose the answer that best represents your parenting style. Then tally your totals to determine how good of a mom you really are. Don’t forget the compare with your friends!

Sleeping:

A. Co-sleep in the “family bed” (possibly with more than one child)
B. You have your room, and I have mine – baby in nursery from day one
C. Bassinet for six months, then transition to the crib

Sleep training:

A. Cry it out – extinction method
B. Just can’t do it – pick up baby and rock to sleep
C. Periodic checks with soothing pats on the back, as many times as needed

Infant feeding:

A. “Breast is best” – exclusively breast fed
B. Bottle fed breast milk
C. Formula fed – by choice or not

School:

A. Public school
B. Private school
C. Home school

Discipline:

A. A spank on the bum occasionally
B. Time out in a designated spot
C. Calm conversation about rules and consequences

Bedtimes:

A. Very early – before 7 p.m.
B. Average – 8:00/9:00
C. Late – after 10 p.m.

Food:

A. Solely organic, or homemade
B. A balance – a Poptart paired with an apple
C. Most meals come from a box

Work/family balance:

A. Stay at home parent
B. Work full time
C. Work part time

Childcare:

A. Daycare center with 15 kids
B. Only family members have ever watched my kid(s) at my house
C. Retired lady at her home with two other kids

Diapers:

A. Disposable – convenience trumps sustainability at this time (sorry Mother Earth)
B. Reusable – cloth is the way to go
C. My baby is always naked

Travel:

A. What travel? I’ve never have been away from children
B. Whether business or personal, I’m away more than with my children
C. Take a trip with friends or spouse once a year

Extracurriculars:

A. One sport/activity per year
B. I’m never home because I’m always at some sort of game or practice
C. None – not a fan of organized sports

Birth:

A. Hospital
B. Birthing center
C. At home

Medication at birth:

A. Au naturel
B. Just a little to take the edge off
C. Epidural all the way – gimme the drugs

Clothes:

A. The newest and trendiest, always put together
B. Hand-me-downs from friends or family, that may have stains or holes
C. Child dresses him/herself, often resulting in mismatched ensembles

TV:

A. Not before age two
B. My kid can name every show on PBS and Nick Jr.
C. One favorite show, no more than once per day

Potty training:

A. Elimination Communication
B. Start promptly at two years old
C. Ha! My four-year-old is still in diapers

Parental control:

A. Free range
B. Helicopter
C. Somewhere in between

Soothers:

A. Pacifier from day one
B. Pacifier only after breast feeding is established
C. No binkies, my baby learned to self-soothe

Size of family:

A. Just one – the world’s already over populated
B. Two is perfect and enough
C. Three or more – I love large families

RESULTS:

MOSTLY As:

Congratulations – You’re a good mom! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

MOSTLY Bs:

Guess what? You’re a good mom too! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

MOSTLY Cs:

Surprise, surprise…you’re a good mom! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

Jennifer Craven considers herself a good mom, despite the fact that she purposely waits for her kids to go to bed before eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s simply because she doesn’t want to share.  Mother to two young daughters, Jennifer spends her days attempting to balance that delicate role many women know far too well: working mom.  When she’s not picking Cheerios off the floor, she works full time in the fashion merchandising department at Mercyhurst University, where she teaches fashion journalism, among several other courses.   

 


3 Comments

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Comments

  1. Emily says

    October 21, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    I love this so much! No child is the same, no parent is the same, so for goodness’ sake, let’s all just have faith in ourselves and each other and try to get along!

    Reply
  2. Jenn says

    November 3, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    I love this. Some parents guilt themselves so much over the little things, like day care and staying at home, or breastfeeding. Ultimately, every mom and every baby is different. I was in day care from a really young age, and it worked out just fine for our situation!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      November 3, 2015 at 3:48 pm

      Thanks Jenn! I agree, every mom has to do her own thing and own it. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
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Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
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I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

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For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

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Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
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