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By Meredith Ethington

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Guest Post In the Motherhood Motherhood Parenting Parenting Tips Practical Tips Uncategorized

Quiz: How to Tell if You’re a Good Mom

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Have you ever wondered if you’re a good mom? If you’re making the right parenting choices? Look no further than this comprehensive quiz, covering a wide array of parenting topics. But be honest! Now’s not the time to pick the response you think is considered the popular choice.

Are YOU a good Mom?

Choose the answer that best represents your parenting style. Then tally your totals to determine how good of a mom you really are. Don’t forget the compare with your friends!

Sleeping:

A. Co-sleep in the “family bed” (possibly with more than one child)
B. You have your room, and I have mine – baby in nursery from day one
C. Bassinet for six months, then transition to the crib

Sleep training:

A. Cry it out – extinction method
B. Just can’t do it – pick up baby and rock to sleep
C. Periodic checks with soothing pats on the back, as many times as needed

Infant feeding:

A. “Breast is best” – exclusively breast fed
B. Bottle fed breast milk
C. Formula fed – by choice or not

School:

A. Public school
B. Private school
C. Home school

Discipline:

A. A spank on the bum occasionally
B. Time out in a designated spot
C. Calm conversation about rules and consequences

Bedtimes:

A. Very early – before 7 p.m.
B. Average – 8:00/9:00
C. Late – after 10 p.m.

Food:

A. Solely organic, or homemade
B. A balance – a Poptart paired with an apple
C. Most meals come from a box

Work/family balance:

A. Stay at home parent
B. Work full time
C. Work part time

Childcare:

A. Daycare center with 15 kids
B. Only family members have ever watched my kid(s) at my house
C. Retired lady at her home with two other kids

Diapers:

A. Disposable – convenience trumps sustainability at this time (sorry Mother Earth)
B. Reusable – cloth is the way to go
C. My baby is always naked

Travel:

A. What travel? I’ve never have been away from children
B. Whether business or personal, I’m away more than with my children
C. Take a trip with friends or spouse once a year

Extracurriculars:

A. One sport/activity per year
B. I’m never home because I’m always at some sort of game or practice
C. None – not a fan of organized sports

Birth:

A. Hospital
B. Birthing center
C. At home

Medication at birth:

A. Au naturel
B. Just a little to take the edge off
C. Epidural all the way – gimme the drugs

Clothes:

A. The newest and trendiest, always put together
B. Hand-me-downs from friends or family, that may have stains or holes
C. Child dresses him/herself, often resulting in mismatched ensembles

TV:

A. Not before age two
B. My kid can name every show on PBS and Nick Jr.
C. One favorite show, no more than once per day

Potty training:

A. Elimination Communication
B. Start promptly at two years old
C. Ha! My four-year-old is still in diapers

Parental control:

A. Free range
B. Helicopter
C. Somewhere in between

Soothers:

A. Pacifier from day one
B. Pacifier only after breast feeding is established
C. No binkies, my baby learned to self-soothe

Size of family:

A. Just one – the world’s already over populated
B. Two is perfect and enough
C. Three or more – I love large families

RESULTS:

MOSTLY As:

Congratulations – You’re a good mom! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

MOSTLY Bs:

Guess what? You’re a good mom too! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

MOSTLY Cs:

Surprise, surprise…you’re a good mom! Maybe you do everything “by the book,” or maybe you lean toward unconventional. Perhaps you follow what the “experts” say, or perhaps you create your own set of rules. You might fall in line with what your mommy friends do, or you might be the odd mommy out from time to time. Maybe your parenting style is a combination and spans the range of what’s considered the norm. What’s for certain? You do what is best for you and your child(ren). Even if your approach might not be the popular method, you follow your gut and are typically right. You love your child(ren). You do your best every day. Some days are better than others, and some days you might give yourself a higher grade on the mommy report card. But regardless of all these choices and outside judgements, remember one thing: you’re a good mom.

Jennifer Craven considers herself a good mom, despite the fact that she purposely waits for her kids to go to bed before eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s simply because she doesn’t want to share.  Mother to two young daughters, Jennifer spends her days attempting to balance that delicate role many women know far too well: working mom.  When she’s not picking Cheerios off the floor, she works full time in the fashion merchandising department at Mercyhurst University, where she teaches fashion journalism, among several other courses.   

 


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Comments

  1. Emily says

    October 21, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    I love this so much! No child is the same, no parent is the same, so for goodness’ sake, let’s all just have faith in ourselves and each other and try to get along!

    Reply
  2. Jenn says

    November 3, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    I love this. Some parents guilt themselves so much over the little things, like day care and staying at home, or breastfeeding. Ultimately, every mom and every baby is different. I was in day care from a really young age, and it worked out just fine for our situation!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      November 3, 2015 at 3:48 pm

      Thanks Jenn! I agree, every mom has to do her own thing and own it. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Meredith Ethington
Definitely true for me. ❤️ Definitely true for me. ❤️
"I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the "I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the time, or even most of the time for that matter. I think you can have a growth mindset and not gaslight yourself into always looking on the bright side and saying everything terrible that happens in life is an opportunity for growth.

There has to be a middle ground."

Read my latest. Link in profile.
I agree. 😂 @chasemit I agree. 😂 @chasemit
"I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers t "I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers to them like I am to myself. 
If I'm being honest - sometimes I feel like I'm 15 different mothers.

I'm patient, loving, and kind. I'm creative and dull.

I'm happy and dancing in the kitchen one minute, and begging for a nap and to be left alone the next minute. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they'll remember the tears I had for no reason at all. Sitting on the couch feeling empty and sad. They come and give me hugs unsolicited as I cry. I am depressed and overwhelmed. I wonder if they will remember that version of me?"

I hope you'll read my latest. ❤️
Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this lesson too. 
Life is hard and we often make so many big decisions based on EMOTIONS. Instead we need to get curious about the why behind that emotion. Are we scared, sad, anxious, angry? Whatever it is - feeling and emotions are not "bad" or "good." In fact we control very little about them! 
So if we can learn to SLOW down when we feel them and get curious that's the first step to figuring out the why behind them. Then we move forward and act  AFTER we've felt. 
It's a lesson I'm still learning and hope my kids will learn a lot faster then me. 

If you like convos like these join me over on substack. 🙏

#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthawareness #momlife #feelings #parentinglikewhoa
😂😂😂 It's me. 😂😂😂 It's me.
Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserpro Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserproblems #wallflowers #mentalhealth #growth #mindsetmatters
Yessss. So important. @banhass Yessss. So important. @banhass
Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇 "In 2018, Busin Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇
"In 2018, Business Insider published an article reporting that one study concluded that it took roughly 200 hours to make a close friend. Ouch.

And before you can consider someone even a casual friend? At least a 50 hour investment. YIKES.

Is it any wonder that making mom friends is so hard? Moms are busy. We’re exhausted. We’re overwhelmed. We have chores and jobs and responsibilities. Investing 200 hours into someone is, well, a lot.

Honestly at the end of a long day with kids, the last thing I want to do is invest time talking. I’ve talked all day. I just want silence.

But, it sounds like the return on our investment could come through in a big way (hello living longer and having a bitch buddy!) Those rewards are big if we can make the time and put in the effort.

Because close relationships have bigger rewards than casual ones."

Learn all about why making friends is important, why we all want them, and how it can actually lower our cortisol. Check out my latest on S U B S T A C K. :)
Here are three things everyone needs to know about Here are three things everyone needs to know about kindness that are important to your mental health. 

1. Kindness does not mean you don't have boundaries. So often we do things for the sake of being kind even when we don't want to. Kindness does not equal saying yes all the time. Learning to say no is like a muscle you need to exercise to get better at it. Saying no doesn't automatically mean you are unkind. 

2. Kindness doesn't look like self betrayal. Ever. If you do something that you don't want to do because you're afraid of exercising that saying no muscle - you'll end up struggling with your own mental health. Listen to your gut and trust when kindness feels meaningful to you and when it feels like an obligation. 

3. Kindness to yourself is just as important as any external kindness you are showing to the world. In fact - I would argue that it's the most important way to have balance and good mental health. 

"Be kind" is a mantra these days and it's a good one. But know what kindness is. It's when you're moved to do something for someone else but that doesn't mean you abandon yourself in the process. 

If anything - true kindness to others should help you feel more connected to yourself ❤️ 

#kindness #bekindtoyourself #mentalhealth #selfcare
Yup. 😂 Yup. 😂
I wrote the book! It’s on sale right now too. 😎
If you feel over-freaking-whelmed by parenting, your mental health is suffering and you find social media so NOT relatable because your parenting journey feels and looks WAAY messier - you need this book in your life. 😍 #themotherload #mentalhealthadvocate #thementalload #momlifebelike #anxietyanddepression #maternalmentalhealth
Ooof. This hit hard. Ooof. This hit hard.
"We are parenting in an age full of information th "We are parenting in an age full of information thrown at us on how to be the best parent.
We’re constantly told to do more with our kids. Educate faster and earlier. Get them in sports by three or they won’t make the team when they get to high school.

How could we possibly accomplish all that and NOT helicopter? Do preschoolers know how to research the best preschools and sign up for T-ball on their own all while making a free range chicken dinner (that you don’t heat up in a plastic container, btw)?

And, what about the worries we have of keeping them safe from school shootings, pornography, social media, and too much screen time?

I’m told not to take my child his homework when he forgets it, but I’m also told to make sure he has enough AP classes and good grades to get into a good college. 

I’m told not to let them roam freely outside because the world is a scary place and for sure someone could kidnap them, but I’m also told that kids today need more fresh air.

So, when exactly am I supposed to get housework done and my job done, too if I have to sit outside watching my kids ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk?

The demands on mothers today are confusing to say the least. We get mixed messages constantly.

The truth is — I’m stressed out.

I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I also don’t know how NOT to be and get everything done that parents today are expected to do." 

Read my latest on substack (link always in my profile)
Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. Being Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. 
Being proud of calm days because you know you’re calming your kids’ nervous systems by being calm yourself. 
Hang in there mamas. We’re doing it. 
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Yesssss. Yesssss.
I’m allll about this power move at this stage of I’m allll about this power move at this stage of my life. People are having their own experience independent of me and are going to have their own assumptions, feelings, and actions about me. That’s just life. My advice? Just keep doing your thing and the people that know the real you and get to be in your safe space are the lucky ones. 
Make sure to check out my post from yesterday about self betrayal too in case you missed it. #selflove #selfvalidation #peaceofmind #safespace
"My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked "My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked like ignoring my intuition or quieting my own voice.
For you, it might look like “being nice” even when you’re being walked all over. Even when you’re mad at yourself afterward. For someone else, it might look like conforming. This happens in situations like the time one of my kids participated in something she told me ahead of time she didn’t want to do and then she fell apart afterward.

What self-betrayal looks like can be different for everyone.

Sometimes it’s a conscious thing we do and other times it might be a subtle habit we do to keep others around us happier than we are ourselves because of a trauma response.

It could look like being the people pleaser, or the peacemaker because that’s the role we had to play in a volatile household growing up.

The cost of self-betrayal is high though.
The cost of self-betrayal is that we no longer belong to ourselves. And if we first don’t belong to ourselves, we certainly can’t truly belong anywhere else."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What self-betrayal means. I hope you'll read it. New post in my substack.
Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it ca Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it calmed my heart. B R E A T H E mamas.
This is something I’ve been working on this past This is something I’ve been working on this past year. It’s amazing to me how little I truly belonged to myself for so long. 
These things are not selfish. 
They are how you return home to yourself.
Swipe right to see what I’ve been working on and how you can start belonging to yourself again. 
Which one resonates? Which one do you struggle with?
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