No disrespect to teachers out there. You have the hardest job in the world. And, I am extremely grateful for all the work you do. Just knowing that there are kids that you are teaching that puke on their desks because their parents send them to school sick and you have to go on with your day makes you a hero in my book. Not to mention that you are actually teaching my kid things like reading and math! When (in theory) I could technically be doing that myself. But, I know I don’t have the patience for it, so I’m so glad you do.Truly.
But, I started to realize there are some definite warning signs that your child really doesn’t have to go to school the last 2 weeks of the school year (or whenever they finish standardized testing).
10. They no longer get homework coming home. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying, when it stops, you can assume they are done learning for the year. Ours stopped a couple of weeks ago.
9. They are working on a “program” of some kind. This means learning songs. Which, can you imagine teaching 1st graders a whole program? Yep. That’s got to take up a big chunk of time.
8. They take field trips to places you would take your three year old.
7. They get to cash in a reward day of some kind for some good behavior. This can usually result in movie day, or park day, or something else that is equally useless to their learning “real stuff”.
6. Parties. You have to have some sort of party at the end of the year. And, you have to take time getting ready for the party too. Right? Making decorations? Yep, that’s important.
5. Art. The kind where you know your child took a lot of time on it, but you aren’t sure what it was for exactly.
4. Early release days are happening for no apparent reason.
3. Field day. I’m sorry, but that’s a waste of time. Although super fun for the kids, but learning how to do a 3 legged race isn’t exactly an “education” you can use the rest of your life.
2. Your child recounts to you all the things they learned at recess that day from friends like pointless songs and silly sayings and secret handshakes. This makes you slightly afraid to send them back the next day for fear she will tell you something really disturbing.
1. Your child comes home and when you ask what she did all day she replies, “We colored all day!” Wait. “You colored all day?” “Yeah, but it was important stuff”. Oh. OK then.
It reminds me of the SNL weekend update skit I saw where they reported:
“This week, children at more than 1,700 schools in North America sang the song, ‘I Wanna Play,’ at the same time. Simultaneously, in China, over a billion kids were doing math.”
Now, I’m not complaining here that my child isn’t getting a good education (OK, maybe I am a little). She’s doing great. I’m complaining that I have to continue to send her to school at 7:55 am and pack those dang lunches everyday when she could just as well stay at home with me and get about the same thing accomplished. Or we could go on vacation. Or we could just stay in our PJs all day.
I think I’m ready for summer. How about you?