The Painful Struggle of the Pre-Dinner Pep Talk

Dinnertime. It’s the best of times because we get to eat, but it’s the worst of times because I’m the one that has to cook it. Every single night, there is an inner dialogue mothers everywhere have with themselves before they start to cook.

A pep talk, if you will.

Because cooking for a family of five almost every night, requires some serious pep-talkery, especially when you factor in the three year old that will treat the whole event as a three ring circus, falling off his chair 3 times, and avoiding eye contact when you say EAT! And you know perfectly well that he may or may not actually put a bite of food in his mouth. Meanwhile one of the older two is bound to say, “I hate this.” when your blood sugar is already low because you forgot to eat lunch.

So, the excitement for dinner is already set to a pretty low standard. 

But, if you ever wanted to know what goes on in a mom’s brain before dinner time, it might look a little something like this. Make sure to start the dialogue at about 4 pm when everyone is right on the cusp of turning into whining, crying little beings that were happy 5 minutes ago but are now STAAARVING.

**

Ugh. It’s time to start thinking about dinner. What was on my list?

Crap. I was supposed to put something in the crockpot this morning.

Maybe we can eat that other meal I bought stuff for instead. What was it? Oh yeah, except I forgot to buy ground beef.

I’ll just do that plan c meal.

Never mind. That sounds too hard.

It’s OK, the kids are playing happily right now, you can do it. JUST DO IT! DO IT!!!!!

But, I don’t want to. Maybe I’ll ask my friends on FB what they are having for dinner…

or, maybe we could just order pizza?

Oh wait, we did that two nights ago. Get it together. It’s dinner, not climbing Mt. Everest.

It feels like climbing Mt. Everest though.

Maybe chicken nuggets and pasta?

(opens fridge hoping looking for something else to cook)

Oh wait. That was dinner last night.

Ugh. Fine. I’ll just make it. (slams door)

Why does there have to be so much chopping though? I need a sous chef.

Why do we have to eat dinner every night? I bet famous moms with lots more money than me don’t have to cook every night.

Maybe we can just have leftovers.

(opens fridge) What’s that!? Oh, that’s two week old lasagna. Never mind. I haven’t cooked this week.

5:00 pm Fine!! I’ll just start cooking. Just do it. Go. Get up and START already!

It won’t be that hard.

(Kid walks in) “Mommy, I’m hungry!! I’m STAARVING!”

“I’m just about to start dinner, OK?”

Crap. They’re already hungry. What can I make that’s faster? Do we have anything frozen?

HOW CAN WE NOT HAVE ANYTHING THAT’S ALREADY MADE!!!??? Not even a frozen dinner!

If I was smarter I would have used the crockpot. How is it possible to be that organized though?

Psssh. Freezer meals. Like I have 12 hours to cook a month’s worth of meals on Saturday.

Next week I swear I’m not using my frozen pizza on the first night of the week.

I would literally pay someone to make dinner for me right now.

Oh. Wait. I can do that. Don’t we have a dominoes coupon?

So unhealthy. FINE!! I’ll cook. I’ll cook. I’ll cook.

GO!!!! Quit whining and just get up and do it.

I just need to lay down. I have a headache.

Maybe I should just look on pinterest real quick and see if I can find something else to make that’s easier.

“MOM! I’m hungry!!” 

“Did I not just tell you that I’m making dinner?!”

5:35 pm. There is literally no time now. Great. My husband it totally going to think I did nothing today. Look at this house. Does no one do anything!?

(Opens fridge) C’mon. Just think. What’s something easy that still is healthy that you can make in less than 10 minutes?

(Shuts door) I hate everyone.

Fine. I’ll just cook. FINE!

Scrambled eggs and toast totally counts as cooking.

Maybe I could get the 9 year old to do it for me….