Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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In the Motherhood

Will Someone Read this 100 Years From Now?

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I went to a dinner at church the other night that was all about extraordinary women in church history. A few women were chosen to get up and share a little bit about a women who inspired them. Their journals were shared and I felt inspired, uplifted and motivated to go home and do something good.

Instead, I went home and flopped into bed lamenting to my husband as I was falling to sleep, “What if my descendants read my blog one day and they aren’t inspired?” He smiled and said, “Don’t worry about that. Try and get some sleep.” And, I did.

But, I couldn’t help but think about this blog as I was listening to their inspiring journals. Would my blog (my online journal) inspire anyone? Or would it just look like one long complaint fest to those that read it in the future?

A quote was read from one of these women (Marjorie Hinckley) that I loved:

I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.

I love that. A woman I can relate to right there.

Here’s what I think if I were to put my Meredith twist on it:

I don’t want to walk up to the pearly gates with my designer jeans and purse, wearing heels and thinking about who is watching me enter. I want to walk up wearing my jeans and t-shirt from Target that have holes in them because they were cheap, and I could get diapers there too. I want to have food on my shirt because I scarfed down my food in five minutes flat so I could rush down to the computer during their nap time and blog about something cute my kids did that day. I want wrinkles around my eyes and mouth because I was able to laugh at myself. I want an indentation of my cell phone on my cheek because my friends and family knew I would really listen when they called. No matter how long it took. I want a mind full of the good and the bad memories. Because the bad ones are what makes me the strongest. I want a squishy body that my kids love to hug and cuddle. And spit up, or drool on my jeans because I always had a kid in my lap. I want permanently puckered lips from giving them a million kisses. I want mascara under my eyes because I cried a little too much, but only because I cared so much. I want to leave this earth showing my children that it is OK to have a bad day. It is OK to share your feelings. It is OK to be imperfect. I want the Lord to know that I do all of it for my children. Every last word I write is for them. I’m anxious because I don’t want bad things to happen to them. I joke about the messy room because life isn’t always perfect, yet we have to find the humor in it sometimes. I write it all down so I won’t forget and so others will know it’s important to follow your passions. I self-analyze because I want to be the best I can, and I want to walk into those pearly gates with confidence because I know I belong there. Not because I was perfect, but because I did my best with what the Lord gave me.

And, hopefully 100 years from now, I might just inspire someone out there too.


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Comments

  1. miamamma35 says

    March 19, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    I think you’re an inspiration here and now, I’m sure you will be 100 years from now as well!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 19, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      Aww. Thanks! You are so kind. 🙂

      Reply
  2. donofalltrades says

    March 19, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    You’re a good person. Keep being yourself and others will notice and appreciate that. When your kids grow up to be great human beings, somebody will think to themselves that their mother must have been pretty special. Just like that DJ golf cart driving guy must be a pretty neat guy to raise such a nice daughter.

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 19, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      Thank you!!

      Reply
  3. crmama says

    March 19, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    I think we will always be inspirational to our descendants, as long as we lived lives of love for them. As for being inspiring to others…well, we can all only hope to attain that level! But doing what you are doing – helping and inspiring women right now – is pretty awesome and certainly helps to attain long term inspiration!!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 19, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      Thank you!!!

      Reply
  4. Shana says

    March 19, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    well like the other readers have pointed out, you are an inspiration today and I have no doubt that your honesty will be for the future as well!

    ” I want wrinkles around my eyes and mouth because I was able to laugh at myself. ” This alone makes me inspired!!!

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      March 19, 2013 at 8:58 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  5. bensbitterblog says

    March 19, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    Maybe your ancestors will read it 100 years from now..That’s why I love writing. It is a way to leave a little of yourself behind.

    Reply
  6. writermomangela says

    March 19, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    Your blog is real, an accurate reflection of your life right now. That will be inspiring because it is real!

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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