Rarely do I set New Year’s resolutions, but this year, I’m going to focus on attainable goals. Meaning goals that require little effort, and smart solutions. So, I’ve thought of 10 goals that we, the real moms of the world, can hopefully attain. The best part of these real goals for real moms is that there is probably at least one that we can keep to make this year a fantastic year. And, if not, we’ve got bigger issues than we thought.
Stop caring what others think of me, but also try to put on real pants more. I’d like to think that I’m at the age where I’m not comparing myself to other moms, but that I’m also not a totally hot mess mom. That last part is probably where I am fantasizing, but my goal for this year is to embrace me, but also embrace the fact that the messy bun is not a look I need to wear as often as I do, and that real pants should be a real goal of mine at least once a week.
Practice deep breathing more. This will come in particularly handy at moments you may not realize you need it like when your 7 year old responds to everything you say by doing the dab, and your 4 year old has mastered the art of bottle flipping literally every item in your household. The best part is that you probably already do it daily in order to survive. Goal accomplished.
Eat more real food. No, I’m not guilting you into giving up carbs, sugar, or cutting out processed foods (although extra kudos to you if you are aiming for one of those). I’m talking more about eating less of the leftover crusts to your toddler’s sandwich, or a fistful of candy that’s sitting out on your counter and sitting down to eat more meals. Like, make yourself some food, mama. It will be good for you. Don’t expect it to be hot, just expect it to be real. Let’s not get too crazy.
Go out more, but embrace the pajama days. Like most moms, I find this goal to be a fine balance. There is something to be said for getting out of the house, and the longer I’m a mom, there is even more to be said for the days when I don’t have to. So, my goal will be to make a mental note every time I leave the house (with real pants) and celebrate the days I don’t have to. By keeping track of these days, we’ll see at the end of the year which days I actually participate more in, and readjust for the following year.
Say no more and yes more. I’m going to say no more to things I just really don’t want to do and try to say yes to my kids more to the things that really matter. My child’s 5th grade teacher asked me at the beginning of the year if I was one of those parents that liked helping in the classroom. She gave me total freedom to be honest and say no. I told the truth. Now she probably hates me, but she gets me. And that’s important (I think). The kids will hear yes more when they ask if I can snuggle with them, read one more story, or let them help me cook.
Connect with my friends more. Since we all know that it’s insane to expect to get together for lunch dates and coffee at a time when we’re both in the mood, healthy, or have the time, I’ll connect in the most realistic way. I’ll text you. And from you, I’ll expect nothing more and nothing less. Maintaining those friendships is important, but so is our sanity. So, if you want to talk to me, text me, and we’ll be best friends forever.
Carve out a time to meditate everyday. This will most likely be hiding in my closet screaming into a pillow type meditation, but I’ll take time to breathe and remember that this stage doesn’t last forever. It doesn’t does it?
Protect my mental health. My goal is to do a weekly cleanse. This will include ignoring my kids and reading a good book for at least 15 minutes, actually locking the bathroom door once a week to shower in peace, or drinking caffeine in large quantities to make it through each day, taking a break only on days that don’t end in Y. In other words, it’s not so much a weekly cleanse as it is a daily survival mechanism to cope with reality. It is how I will remember I’m human and it’s OK to let them watch TV for a few extra minutes (hours) when my sanity is at risk.
Count my blessings daily. When the four year old refuses to make eye contact and walks the opposite direction when I call him, I will count my blessings that I love him when he’s asleep and not able to move. I will also appreciate the times when the tween does not roll her eyes at me, and showers in less than 35 minutes, and high five myself when the seven year old keeps all his food in the vicinity of his plate at meal time. It really is important when they’re fighting in the next room over who touched who first, to close your eyes and remember how lucky it is that they all have grown up to have fantastic memories about who touched who last, and impeccable argumentative skills. I’m sure they’re destined for greatness.
Keep my kids alive another year. A mom can never underestimate the importance of this goal. It’s basically what we do every day, and if you feed your kids, you’re doing it. Kept them from killing each other? You’re accomplishing this goal. Every mother needs this one on her list, and she will for sure succeed at at least one New Year’s resolution. And, hopefully, we can pat ourselves for another job well done this year if we can simply keep them alive and hang on to our last bit of sanity in the process.