Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Humor Parenting Tips Practical Tips The Elementary School Years

10 Things You Can’t Control Anymore Once Your Kid Starts Public School

12 shares
  • Share
  • Tweet

It’s no secret that I’m kind of a control freak. But, once my kids started school, I realized quickly that there were things I no longer had control over.

My oldest is in the 5th grade, and I now know that there are just things that are part of public school life whether I like it or not.

Here are 10 things you lose control over once your kids start public school. Whether you like it or not.

child girl draws with colored pencils in kindergarten

The germs that come into your house.

Just a note coming home from the school that there was a lice outbreak last year had me itching my head for weeks. 

Once your kids start school, you can’t control whether or not a stomach bug ravages your household anymore than whether tiny bugs infest your kid’s sweet heads that you used to love to kiss.

My advice is to take a deep breath, throw a hand sanitizer in their backpack and hope for the best.

What they hear.

Never in a million years did I think I’d be discussing what bloody mary was over dinner with my children. And, I’m not talking about the drink.

Your kids will come home either terrified of something, or asking too many questions about something else.

And, you’ll just have to be prepared for just about anything that comes out of their mouths after over hearing it at school.

Avoiding awkward conversations. 

Before my kids started school, the only awkward conversations I had to worry about usually took place in my own home when the youngest wanted an in-depth explanation of where babies come from.

But, once your kids start public school, life is full of awkward conversations, and they are happening with just about everyone. The teachers, the principal, parents that your child doesn’t get along with…you name it, awkward just comes with the territory when your kids go to school.

What they wear. 

No matter how hard you try, you will lose the battle eventually and you’ll resign to sending your kid to school in whatever they want to avoid the hassle of an argument over breakfast.

And, bets are, whatever they choose is never seasonally appropriate.

Forget buying back to school clothes, and do what I did – just ask your child what they will want to wear everyday and stock up on those.

For us, it is basketball shorts and t-shirts. Next year, I’m sure it will be something different. Sorry, universe, some days my kid will look homeless because I just don’t have the energy anymore.

Whether or not they finish their lunch. 

Lovingly packing a lunch in the morning only to find it still sitting in the same spot in the afternoon will become the norm. No matter how healthy of a lunch you pack, your kid will still want the unhealthy food they see their friend’s eating.

So, go ahead and embrace the fact that lunch is most likely optional in their mind, and stock up on healthy-ish after school snacks.

Your kitchen. 

Because your kid is too distracted to actually eat lunch at school, the result will be complete loss of control over your kitchen after school.

You’ll find snacks and crumbs in crevices you didn’t know existed, and the whole neighborhood will be in your fridge looking for a snack like foraging animals.

Your kitchen is no longer yours. It is and will forever and ever be theirs until they move out.

Not yelling when you’re all getting ready in the morning. 

I muster all my strength to not yell when my kids are getting ready for school, but sometimes, it’s impossible.

After all, reading every ingredient off the back of the cereal box, backwards, while jumping on one foot, isn’t exactly helping them get ready for school. Your kids will at some point stop hearing your voice, and you will at some point have to yell, “YOU DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” to get them to the school bus stop on time.

Participating in fundraisers. 

Fundraisers are part of most schools, and you know your school deserves the money, so you’ll buy the overpriced wrapping paper, or the flavored popcorn, and you’ll learn to love it. Because those teachers sure do deserve all the help they can get.

How much they love school. 

My oldest loves school, but my middle child – not so much. You really don’t have control over whether or not they love school, but you can definitely impact whether or not they will succeed.

Show them that school is important, help them, and even if they don’t love it like you want them to, they will be successful because you’re going through it all with them.

Your sanity. 

I mean, honestly, the preschool years are hard, but the school years are hard, too.

Projects, after school activities, common core homework, school carnivals, recess games you don’t want your child knowing, head lice, and packing lunches are all a necessary evil to getting your kid through school.

You might go a little crazy hearing all about the 4th grade girl drama, or want to poke your eyes trying to trick your 1st grader into reading, but I have no doubt it will all be worth it in the end.

Even if we lose control over our sanity in the process.


Leave a Comment

« Why Being Real Is One of The Best Parts Of Growing Up
Why Talking About My Mental Load Isn’t Actually An Insult To Men »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Meredith Ethington
Working on figuring out my mission as we speak. ❤️
Is anyone else like this? #dietcokeaddict #pebblei Is anyone else like this? #dietcokeaddict #pebbleice #adhd #momlifebelike
Hello friends, it’s me. Meredith. Here are a f Hello friends, it’s me. Meredith. 

Here are a few things I’d tell you if I could call you all up: 

❤️ It’s ok to say no to things.

❤️ Your kiddos don’t need perfection - they need real. Emotional, Messy, flawed, etc. It helps them know their emotions are valid. 

❤️ Having anxiety or depression does not mean you’re an inadequate parent. 

❤️ Never be ashamed of asking for help or going on medication if necessary. 

❤️Kids can be draining. Take time for yourself. I promise you’ll be able to be a better, more present parent if you do this. 

❤️ Boundaries are your friend. People that make you feel like you’re not enough are not. 

Hang in there. It doesn’t get easier - like at all. But you get stronger.
I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process I wrote this a few years ago. It helped me process feelings of never measuring up and feeling lIke someone else would do it better than me. 
I don’t feel like this very often anymore. But I know that there are plenty of mothers out there that do. You aren’t alone. 
The experience of Motherhood is definitely something that humbles even the most confident mothers. 
I wasn’t one to have much confidence once I began but I got there eventually. 
If you’re in this headspace of wondering if you’re enough I’m here to tell you:
1. You are. 
2. This is NORMAL. 
3. This post is for you. 
Read it on my substack now and consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. ❤️ It supports me as I hopefully support you.
I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored I certainly didn’t. @a.mom.uncensored
I see nothing wrong here. I see nothing wrong here.
Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ik Still not there yet. 😑 #ikea #momlifebelike #ikeahack #jokesfordays
This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At s This was my mom’s desk when she was little. At some point it got passed down to one of her grandchildren. Then it made its way to my house and all three of my kids have used it too. 
My middle decided he was done with it and I had no idea what to do with it. It’s almost an antique at this point and I knew my mom felt sentimental about it. It’s heavy and tiny but it has good bones as they say. 
My mom lives too far away to come get it and the grandkids are all getting too big to want this desk in their rooms. 
I walked around my little house looking for a spot for it. There really isn’t one. 
Could it be an end table? Or swapped out for an entry table? 
But then I walked into my bedroom and saw this bare wall. It’s not ideal. My husband will hate it. But I’ve been thinking that I needed a study spot in my house (in a room with a door that shuts and locks) since I’m in school again at 46 years old. 
I’m hilariously too big for this little desk but also it seems just fine for sitting and writing papers. 
The older I get, the more I realize that this life is short and I’m sure it will make my mom happy to know I’m not only hanging onto this desk a little while longer but it’s going to be used for actual school work again instead of hoarding useless scraps of paper, half filled notebooks and dull crayons no one has touched in years. 
I’m breathing life back into this desk for a few more years and it seems symbolic of my taking something old (me) and using it for something new (becoming a therapist). 
I’m not super sentimental about furniture but I’m sentimental about the people that I love. 
She loves this desk so I guess I’ll love it a little longer on her behalf. ❤️
🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: 🚨Vulnerable post alert! My latest on substack: "I feel depressed that it’s back, when I had been handling things so well.
I feel hopeless that although I know it will end, that it will come back again.
I feel embarrassed that I’m sometimes mean to the ones I love most.
I feel like I want to give up.
I feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed by the tiniest thing.
I feel alone. I feel like I’m literally the only one feeling that way in that moment even though I know I’m not deep down. But, anxiety makes me feel like that.
I feel like I just would be better off if I could disappear."
First day back after a week long vacay to the fun First day back after a week long vacay to the fun of carpool and the reality of being a responsible adult is kicking my boot-ay. Can you tell? 😅
Yup. 😂 @themumcrew Yup. 😂 @themumcrew
Best thrift find ever. 😂 Best thrift find ever. 😂
Mental health matters. ❤️ Mental health matters. ❤️
You get the full tour if you’re my friend. You get the full tour if you’re my friend.
Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑 Because apparently it belongs to no one. 😑
Just like building muscles in our body, to have go Just like building muscles in our body, to have good mental health we need to build muscles in our brains as well. What does that look like? 

For me, it often looks like practicing things that make me uncomfortable. 
Saying no. Setting boundaries. Sitting in discomfort with feelings I don't like. Being OK if someone is mad at me. Learning to validate MYSELF. You get the idea. 
But, really it can be anything that you need to work on but makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable. So much so that it feels like your brain is literally rejecting it. If you want to build that muscle in your brain that is OK with disappointing people in favor of your own mental health, you have to treat it like muscle building in your body. 

1. Do it often enough. 
2. Start small, and work your way up. 
3. Go heavy when you're ready. 

Practicing it often enough is really when you're going to get big results. Soon you'll get used to those negative feelings that come along with telling someone no and knowing they're disappointed. You'll build up endurance to tolerate the feelings and be able to sit with them and let them go. And finally, it will become second nature to you to do all those things you didn't think you could do. Just like strength training for a marathon - consider strength training for your mind. 

One thing I'm working on is telling myself I'm OK. I struggle with seeking validation from others when really I need to be seeking validation from myself. Because MYSELF is good, worthy, and OK 99% of the time. 

What are you practicing right now? I'd love to hear if this is true for you.
Love this so much. @nellie_scales Love this so much. @nellie_scales
If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, conside If you’ve loved anything I’ve written, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber on Substack where you won’t miss any of my posts. Here’s the latest - link in profile. 

#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigmamentalillness
For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. For the moms fighting all the battles no one sees. My latest on substack. ❤️ Link in profile
Truth right here. Truth right here.
Load More Follow on Instagram

You might also like

mom forcing a smile with fingers and blue background

Stop Complaining About Motherhood. Here Are 21 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Deal With Hating Being a Parent

Am I real? Mom holding newborn baby

Am I Real? The Question That Started “Mommy Blogging”

Mom holding crying baby I yelled at my baby and feel horrible

I Yelled At My Baby And Feel Horrible. What should I Do Now?

baby smiling and crawling on floor with white background

Are Babies Born With Kneecaps? And Other Weird Baby Facts

Copyright © 2023 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2023 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

12 shares