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By Meredith Ethington

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Parenting Parenting Tips Practical Tips

17 Positive Parenting Techniques to Start Right Now

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Every parent knows that raising kids is one of the most rewarding things you can do. But, it’s easy to slip into bad habits instead of implementing positive parenting techniques.

It’s also equally true that it can be infuriating and overwhelming when kids begin to test boundaries or act out.

It is so easy to give in to yelling, punishing and disappointment when your kids are misbehaving.

However, with a few positive parenting techniques, you can find yourself a lot less stressed out and with better behaved children.

Here are some great positive parenting techniques that you can start doing right now and that I’m going to start trying, too!

positive-parenting-techniques

A Kindness Jar from Real Life at Home

A beautiful sentiment. Choose some rocks or jewels to represent moments of kindness. Every time your child does something kind, add a jewel to the jar. When the jar is filled up, the entire family does something special together.

Good Deed Jars by Long Wait for Isabella

Similar to the Kindness Jars referenced above, these Good Deed jars are a way to help kids try harder to do more around the house. In this version, kids can compete to fill their jar first (with cheap pasta!) to earn a small new toy.

Instantly Self Calm a Child by The Jenny Evolution

This is a great trick for parents to learn to help children who have a difficult time calming down when upset. The “Body Calm” technique allows the child to calm†themselves down, meaning they don’t get angrier or more upset when mom or dad tries to get too close. This is an especially effective technique for parents who have children on the autism spectrum.

Chore Reward Charts by It’s A Mother Thing

Creating your own chore reward charts is a great way to get kids excited about helping out and doing their chores. There are options available to buy, or you can make your own at home using card stock, sticker paper and free printables.

Simply create your charts and then let your kids add stickers every time they have done a chore. When the chart is full, they can pick a prize or do something fun. Motivation is everything to kids, and it’s a great way to get them excited.

Cheer Jars from Real Life at Home

This is such a great idea. Every time you appreciate any member of the family, you write them a quick note of appreciation and place it in the jar. At the end of the month, gather around and each person can read all the wonderful things that have been said about them.

Sweetness Mandala by The Crafting Chicks

Summer breaks can be extra difficult dealing with kids who have tons of energy to burn. The Crafting Chicks offer a solution – ICE CREAM! Children must earn ice cream by filling in a “Sweetness Mandala.” Every time they do a required task, they get to fill in a section. Once the page is done, they get ice cream. Coloring and sweet treats? A perfect combination!

Five Ways to Un-Spoil Your Kids by Living Well Spending Less

So many times we think it’s too late to “fix” our bratty kids. We end up yelling or punishing because we think it’s the only way. But there are so many awesome suggestions for “un-spoiling” your kiddos.

Getting Rid of the Pacifier by Aileen Cooks

One of the most difficult things that many parents go through is the momentous occasion that is getting rid of a child’s pacifier. But a bit of positive reinforcement can work wonders in this endeavor.

Encourage Imaginative Play by What’s Up Fagans

A lot of emotions can come out when kids are playing. They tend to act out the things that they are experiencing in real life, so imaginative play is a great way to get to know what’s going on in the inner workings of your child’s mind.

Make Family Quality Time Achievable by Kid’s Craft Room

Whether you have all the time in the world or just five minutes a day, family quality time is totally achievable if you put in the effort to plan accordingly. Be sure to set aside distractions, be 100% present and plan the time into your daily schedule†every day.

Healthy Eating Board Game by Sugar Spice and Glitter

Giving kids a sense of independence is key. A great way to do this is to teach your children how to make and prepare their own food. Begin with this fun board game to teach them the basics and then set up a portion of the fridge for them to keep their own fixings. Their sense of independence will grow quickly!

Manage Bedwetting Without Shame by Joy in the Works

When you have a child who is old enough that bedwetting shouldn’t be happening, it can be frustrating for both parent and child. But there are some great tips on making sure your child keeps their sense of pride while moving forward and getting better.

10 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Sibling Rivalries by The Jenny Evolution

Jenny really breaks things down in this post about sibling rivalries. It’s as important for each parent to remember their part in quelling the storms as it is for each child to do their part. Focus on each child’s special gifts so they each get positive attention for their singular strengths.

Help Kids Improve Concentration by Kid’s Craft Room

Did you know that concentration skills can be broken into two types – productive and receptive? Learning which activities help with each type will give your child the skills they need to better pay attention in school and at home.

Less Criticism, More Encouragement by Living Well Spending Less

It’s so easy to get in the habit of criticizing your kids. We sometimes forget that it is our job to build them up instead of knocking them down, no matter how well-meaning we are. A little change in attitude can make for a HUGE improvement in your children.

Stop a Tantrum Before It Starts by What’s Up Fagans

The best way to stop your children acting out is to make sure it doesn’t start in the first place. From diverting their attention to keeping your cool, there are some important positive parenting techniques to be learned.

Parenting a Strong-Willed Child by The Professional Mom Project

When you have a defiant child, it can be difficult to manage. Sometimes we have to parent very differently. There are some great tips here on positive parenting techniques for a strong-willed child.

What do you think? Have you found a positive parenting technique that works for you? Leave a comment and let me know your favorite.

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3 Comments

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Comments

  1. Nicole | The Professional Mom Project says

    March 13, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    Thanks very much for including my tips! I’ll have to come back and check out the other helpful advice.

    Reply
  2. Angie | Real Life at Home says

    March 14, 2017 at 9:56 am

    Thanks so much for including our Cheer Jars and Kindness Jars! I’ll be pinning this great resource you’ve put together. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Megan says

    July 23, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    This is great. Thank you for these techniques. I am a new parent. I would like to do a great job as a mom.

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Meredith Ethington
Definitely true for me. ❤️ Definitely true for me. ❤️
"I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the "I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the time, or even most of the time for that matter. I think you can have a growth mindset and not gaslight yourself into always looking on the bright side and saying everything terrible that happens in life is an opportunity for growth.

There has to be a middle ground."

Read my latest. Link in profile.
I agree. 😂 @chasemit I agree. 😂 @chasemit
"I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers t "I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers to them like I am to myself. 
If I'm being honest - sometimes I feel like I'm 15 different mothers.

I'm patient, loving, and kind. I'm creative and dull.

I'm happy and dancing in the kitchen one minute, and begging for a nap and to be left alone the next minute. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they'll remember the tears I had for no reason at all. Sitting on the couch feeling empty and sad. They come and give me hugs unsolicited as I cry. I am depressed and overwhelmed. I wonder if they will remember that version of me?"

I hope you'll read my latest. ❤️
Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this lesson too. 
Life is hard and we often make so many big decisions based on EMOTIONS. Instead we need to get curious about the why behind that emotion. Are we scared, sad, anxious, angry? Whatever it is - feeling and emotions are not "bad" or "good." In fact we control very little about them! 
So if we can learn to SLOW down when we feel them and get curious that's the first step to figuring out the why behind them. Then we move forward and act  AFTER we've felt. 
It's a lesson I'm still learning and hope my kids will learn a lot faster then me. 

If you like convos like these join me over on substack. 🙏

#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthawareness #momlife #feelings #parentinglikewhoa
😂😂😂 It's me. 😂😂😂 It's me.
Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserpro Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserproblems #wallflowers #mentalhealth #growth #mindsetmatters
Yessss. So important. @banhass Yessss. So important. @banhass
Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇 "In 2018, Busin Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇
"In 2018, Business Insider published an article reporting that one study concluded that it took roughly 200 hours to make a close friend. Ouch.

And before you can consider someone even a casual friend? At least a 50 hour investment. YIKES.

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But, it sounds like the return on our investment could come through in a big way (hello living longer and having a bitch buddy!) Those rewards are big if we can make the time and put in the effort.

Because close relationships have bigger rewards than casual ones."

Learn all about why making friends is important, why we all want them, and how it can actually lower our cortisol. Check out my latest on S U B S T A C K. :)
Here are three things everyone needs to know about Here are three things everyone needs to know about kindness that are important to your mental health. 

1. Kindness does not mean you don't have boundaries. So often we do things for the sake of being kind even when we don't want to. Kindness does not equal saying yes all the time. Learning to say no is like a muscle you need to exercise to get better at it. Saying no doesn't automatically mean you are unkind. 

2. Kindness doesn't look like self betrayal. Ever. If you do something that you don't want to do because you're afraid of exercising that saying no muscle - you'll end up struggling with your own mental health. Listen to your gut and trust when kindness feels meaningful to you and when it feels like an obligation. 

3. Kindness to yourself is just as important as any external kindness you are showing to the world. In fact - I would argue that it's the most important way to have balance and good mental health. 

"Be kind" is a mantra these days and it's a good one. But know what kindness is. It's when you're moved to do something for someone else but that doesn't mean you abandon yourself in the process. 

If anything - true kindness to others should help you feel more connected to yourself ❤️ 

#kindness #bekindtoyourself #mentalhealth #selfcare
Yup. 😂 Yup. 😂
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If you feel over-freaking-whelmed by parenting, your mental health is suffering and you find social media so NOT relatable because your parenting journey feels and looks WAAY messier - you need this book in your life. 😍 #themotherload #mentalhealthadvocate #thementalload #momlifebelike #anxietyanddepression #maternalmentalhealth
Ooof. This hit hard. Ooof. This hit hard.
"We are parenting in an age full of information th "We are parenting in an age full of information thrown at us on how to be the best parent.
We’re constantly told to do more with our kids. Educate faster and earlier. Get them in sports by three or they won’t make the team when they get to high school.

How could we possibly accomplish all that and NOT helicopter? Do preschoolers know how to research the best preschools and sign up for T-ball on their own all while making a free range chicken dinner (that you don’t heat up in a plastic container, btw)?

And, what about the worries we have of keeping them safe from school shootings, pornography, social media, and too much screen time?

I’m told not to take my child his homework when he forgets it, but I’m also told to make sure he has enough AP classes and good grades to get into a good college. 

I’m told not to let them roam freely outside because the world is a scary place and for sure someone could kidnap them, but I’m also told that kids today need more fresh air.

So, when exactly am I supposed to get housework done and my job done, too if I have to sit outside watching my kids ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk?

The demands on mothers today are confusing to say the least. We get mixed messages constantly.

The truth is — I’m stressed out.

I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I also don’t know how NOT to be and get everything done that parents today are expected to do." 

Read my latest on substack (link always in my profile)
Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. Being Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. 
Being proud of calm days because you know you’re calming your kids’ nervous systems by being calm yourself. 
Hang in there mamas. We’re doing it. 
#cyclebreakers #calm #peacefulparenting #momlife #mentalhealth
Yesssss. Yesssss.
I’m allll about this power move at this stage of I’m allll about this power move at this stage of my life. People are having their own experience independent of me and are going to have their own assumptions, feelings, and actions about me. That’s just life. My advice? Just keep doing your thing and the people that know the real you and get to be in your safe space are the lucky ones. 
Make sure to check out my post from yesterday about self betrayal too in case you missed it. #selflove #selfvalidation #peaceofmind #safespace
"My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked "My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked like ignoring my intuition or quieting my own voice.
For you, it might look like “being nice” even when you’re being walked all over. Even when you’re mad at yourself afterward. For someone else, it might look like conforming. This happens in situations like the time one of my kids participated in something she told me ahead of time she didn’t want to do and then she fell apart afterward.

What self-betrayal looks like can be different for everyone.

Sometimes it’s a conscious thing we do and other times it might be a subtle habit we do to keep others around us happier than we are ourselves because of a trauma response.

It could look like being the people pleaser, or the peacemaker because that’s the role we had to play in a volatile household growing up.

The cost of self-betrayal is high though.
The cost of self-betrayal is that we no longer belong to ourselves. And if we first don’t belong to ourselves, we certainly can’t truly belong anywhere else."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What self-betrayal means. I hope you'll read it. New post in my substack.
Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it ca Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it calmed my heart. B R E A T H E mamas.
This is something I’ve been working on this past This is something I’ve been working on this past year. It’s amazing to me how little I truly belonged to myself for so long. 
These things are not selfish. 
They are how you return home to yourself.
Swipe right to see what I’ve been working on and how you can start belonging to yourself again. 
Which one resonates? Which one do you struggle with?
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