Recently, I had to clean out a refrigerator. I’m not talking about tossing the gross rotting food out that you found in the back, I’m talking deep clean a refrigerator because I was selling it to someone else.
The fridge was already moved out into my driveway, so I thought it might be a fun project for the kids and I. It wasn’t until I uttered the words, “I’m going outside to clean the old fridge…who wants to help?” and I heard three very enthusiastic “ME!!!”‘s that I had a feeling that things wouldn’t go quite like I envisioned them.
You see, it was 5 pm. I had been running ragged all week, and it was dinner time. The time was mistake #1. You’d think I was new to this whole parenting thing or something. Mistake #2 was thinking that using the hose would be a good idea. Mistake #3? It was already pushing 97 degrees outside and, of course, it was the hottest part of the day. So, we had fatigue, hunger, water, and heat. And three eager little people.
I realized in this process that having kids “help” you with a project that is really meant for adults is almost always a mistake and will almost always end up in somebody crying. Luckily, this time it wasn’t me.
How to let your kids help in 34 Simple Steps.
1. Offer to let them help.
2. Do not expect actual help.
3. Get the necessary equipment for helping. Each child needs their OWN rag, water bottle, and bucket of bubbles. Sharing is not possible.
4. Remind them each that they have their own equipment and not to touch their siblings cleaning tools.
5. Begin. This is the fun, exciting part that will last for about 2.3 seconds.
6. Refill the buckets of water.
7. Tell them it’s OK when they decide to “wash” the car instead of the task at hand.
8. Remind them gently not to use the black rag they buried in the dirt to “clean” the actual thing you started cleaning.
9. Refill the buckets of water.
10. Tell them more forcefully that they are no longer allowed to touch the item you are cleaning.
11. Finally give in to the two year old who wants to control the hose.
12. Deep breathe after he sprays you with it.
13. Refill the buckets of water.
14.Teach the 2 year old which direction to point the hose.
15. Wait for him to spray you again.
16. Refill the buckets of water.
17. Take away the hose.
18. Let him throw a temper tantrum and fall to the ground.
19. Give him the hose back.
20. Say “But, you said you were going to help me!” when the older two kids say they are going back inside to play video games.
21. Tell your toddler to wash the car. Maybe that will distract him for a minute.
22. Sweat profusely and wonder how bad it would be to just sell the fridge dirty. That green goo in the back doesn’t look that bad does it? Is that fuzz?
23. Take away the hose from the toddler when he starts a puddle of mud by your feet.
24. Let him cry.
25. Keep cleaning and try to ignore his cry.
26. Tell the neighbors he’s OK when they come to see why there is a 2 year old crying, “DAAAADDY” over and over again on the front porch.
27. Speed up your cleaning and sweat some more.
28. Explain to the toddler that Daddy is still at work, so will he please stop crying?
29. Blame your husband for the whole scenario even though none of it is his fault.
30. Strip the two year old down who is now shivering and crying in wet clothes.
31. Keep cleaning in a puddle of water, and hope that no one notices how stinky you are.
32. Put the crying toddler inside.
33. Enjoy your peace and quiet, and finish the job. Alone.
34. Remind yourself to never do this again. Even though, you most likely will anyway.
Hahaha, this is so spot-on and hilarious. “You’d think I was new to this whole parenting thing or something” I also have moments like that, all the time. All the time.
I had to laugh at the constant Refill buckets of water thing. That happens more often than I’d like to admit to! And they are usually helping with car washing and doing the dishes. Side note but not completely off-topic: Last Friday we had one bit of family law changed: children are now obligated by law to help with the chores, unless they want to be sued by their parents. Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks this is absurd? I mean, do we really need a law for such a thing?
That seems ridiculous to me! Kids should already be helping out, and there should be fewer lawsuits, not more over missed chores.
That is crazy!
Glad I could help…..all the way from Georgia!
Haha! I love this list. Filling up the bucket umpteen times is an important series of steps, even if the chore doesn’t involve buckets – or water.
Ha. Yes!
Lol! Number 29 is something I’m always guilty of, no matter what it is I’m doing :p In my more rational moments I know that not everything is my poor husbands fault but the minute I start to get frustrated, I start blaming him in my head even when the poor man isn’t even there! He’s an angel to put up with me ^^
So is my husband. Seriously.
With documentary-like accuracy you have captured this experience!
I laughed. I cried. So very true :).
Ha. Thanks Louise.
This is hilarious, awesome, and sadly– so, so true. 🙂 I loved every word, probably more than you loved living it! 🙂
Sounds like you had SO much fun cleaning that fridge. What an experience never to be repeated (you hope). Sorry not to link up this week. I did my writing process post, so it wasn’t the right sort of post for this link up.
Point No. 29 was the best! I’ve made this mistake too often with my toddler, and I can imagine how it was with three kids.
1. Help from a kid in the kitchen to me means i will forget a key ingredient. Or mix up baking powder and baking soda.
2. Answer this: If a child is able enough to actually help – shouldn’t we have them do the whole damn thing? Think about that one for a minute.
3. And that 2.3 seconds that all is well at the beginning … that’s what is always on the commercial, isn’t it? The happy family pressure-washing the house. Like hell.
This is hilarious! Makes me wonder how much “help” my brothers and I were 20+ years ago when my dad washed his car…
Yup= That sounds about right. Esp. the irrational blaming of The Dad! 🙂
Dropping in from the best of parenting Linky. I agree it’s really important to have our kids participate in the household. Thanks so much for this list!
HAHA! While it must have been AWFUL at the time, I really enjoyed reading it, and remember the time that I thought it’d be a good idea to clean the high chair using the hose outside. It was awful. And I could at least move it!!
Ha. It really WAS awful at the time, but I’m sure I’ll really love re-reading this in a few years after the scars heal. 😉