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By Meredith Ethington

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Humor In the Motherhood Motherhood Parenting Practical Tips Uncategorized

15 Practical Self Care Ideas for Moms When You’re Too Tired for a Girl’s Night Out

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While pedicures, dinner with a friend, and girls’ night out sounds incredibly awesome, sometimes it’s just not realistic to find that much time for self care.

As a mom to three kids, I’ve heard it more than once. Put yourself first and you’ll be a better mom.  It’s true, and I know it, but I’d rather do really important stuff like hang up my six-year-old’s pile of shirts sitting on the floor of his closet.

Because that makes me feel better too. In its own kind of way.

The reality is that self care can be time consuming

But, the reality is that my days are full, and I’m usually running around in circles (no, literally… in circles in my kitchen trying to remember what I was doing) with a brain overflowing with t0-do lists and shoulds, and sometimes the thought of a girl’s night out sounds down right exhausting.

Karaoke at 9pm when my bed is so inviting and warm, and does not have children in it? No thanks, I have a really important thing I have to do (fine…it’s just watching flip or flop without someone begging for a snack).

Next time, ladies.

So, what’s a girl to do when the typical self care seems like work?

I say, make it easy.

Here’s a real mom’s guide to self-care you can do every freaking day.

self-care-for-moms

Here’s the secret: DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Just repeat after me, “This is just self care. I’ll be a better mom.” So, here’s a list just about anyone can do.

When your youngest has two hours of preschool, instead of jamming it full of organizing, errand running, or mopping (just kidding…who really mops?) Fill it with a reality TV show instead.

Feed your kids lunch 30 minutes earlier than normal, then turn on that Daniel Tiger, make your own lunch, and hide in a room somewhere and eat your food. Alone. In silence. Try it. It’s awesome.

Keep a stash of chocolate somewhere secret. Hide it inside a bag of peas, or with the cleaning supplies. Guaranteed, no one will find it, and you don’t have to share.

Self care means keeping a running list of all the awesome things you do as a mom, for days when you don’t do anything particularly awesome.

Laminate it and read it often.

Close your kids’ bedroom doors instead of looking at the mess.

Get the kids off to school, and get back in bed once a week. Or if you have little ones still at home, settle them in front of their favorite show, and get back in bed.

Tell your kids mommy needs a minute alone when when they first get home from school. Take a deep breath and close your eyes before starting the homework.

Self care doesn’t have to be complicated either. 

Wear headphones while you’re cooking dinner or cleaning. Blast your favorite music.

Take a picture of yourself on a day when you’re really put together. Make-up, jewelry, the whole nine yards. Instead of posting it on social media, post it on your fridge. You’ll remind yourself that there is more to you than sweats and spit up.

Make a list of things you loved before becoming a mom. Do one of them once a week.

Take a nap or an extra long hot shower when your husband gets home.

Put older kids in charge of reading time with the younger ones.

Read a book when you should be doing laundry.

Call a babysitter when you don’t have anything to do. Take a stroll around Target or get sit in your car and enjoy silence.

Replace every “I should….” with “I can do  _______ if I feel like it, but I don’t have to.”

The truth is, I’m typically awful at self care, but I’m getting better. And letting go of the guilt feels good. What’s your little indulgence you do to stay sane?

More thoughts on taking care of yourself as a mom: 

I’m Tired of Basic Human Needs Being Seen As Self-Care

How to Let Yourself Be Without Letting Yourself Go

I Never Knew How Tired I Could Feel From Just Trying to Remember All The Things

 


17 Comments

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Comments

  1. jgroeber says

    January 4, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    I absolutely love this. I ignored daylight’s saving time for about a month, which is to say, I put them to bed an hour early for about four weeks. Still woke them up at the same time, just gave myself an extra hour of phew-time at the end of each day. Sometimes it’s that little bit of extra me-time that carries you through the week. 😉

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 4, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      That’s awesome! And so true. It really is the little things!

      Reply
  2. Cookie says

    January 4, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    Every morning I get up first and leave a couple of chocolate milks and breakfast on the counter for the babies. Once they’re both up, I leave them the Ipad/Iphones and sneak upstairs to have a bath. Every.Single.Morning.

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 4, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      That’s amazing! Love that!

      Reply
  3. Misty says

    January 5, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Oh my I loved these and shared them on my facebook page! Seriously made me smile and feel so much more NORMAL! I do these things….often. I’m learning not to feel too guilty!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 5, 2016 at 3:11 pm

      Thanks so much for sharing Misty! Glad you liked it! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files says

    January 6, 2016 at 7:11 am

    Such good tips! I love the “eating a meal alone” idea. Every year, my Mother’s Day present is a breakfast in bed ALONE. Phillip makes breakfast, the kids make cards, they all come in to show me, then Phillip herds them out of the room and feeds them breakfast separately. The kids aren’t allowed to come in, they have to wait until I open the door. Phillip comes in occasionally to ask if I need anything. The birds are singing, the sun is coming in the windows, Phillip is a great cook and I’m enjoying an entire meal uninterrupted. Best day of the whole year!

    Reply
    • Meredith says

      January 6, 2016 at 7:26 am

      That sounds heavenly!

      Reply
  5. Katy says

    March 30, 2017 at 4:11 am

    I think we need that little reminder of finding the balance in the chaos of being mums. It makes you feel so normal, so… human. For me, when everybody’s out, it me time. I sing, dance, make healthy snack and watch TV. Thank you for the reminder that we are not crazy, but normal.

    Reply
  6. Margaret says

    July 11, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Such a good post, I had the candle going on both ends for way too long. I am spending a lot of days this summer doing many of these things. The problem is, if you don’t do them, you get very burned out, and then it takes days, weeks, months, to feel better again. No, I am not depressed. I am relaxing for once. I am going for walks, reading books, taking a bath, and saying to the mess, you’ll still be there tomorrow. I am only working on it, a little at a time. My kids are mostly grown (though not quite independent) except for the youngest two who are still in school.

    Reply
  7. Stacy says

    March 22, 2019 at 8:33 am

    I love this list! And I LOVE the idea of replacing “should” with “can”!

    Reply

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  4. Top Self-Care Idea Lists of 2018 - Living Upp says:
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    […] 3. Perfection Pending’s self-care list is geared toward busy moms who are “too tired for a girls’ night out.” (I can relate even without kids.) Here’s a sneak peek: “Replace every ‘I should….’ with ‘I can do if I feel like it, but I don’t have to.’ […]

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  6. How to Add Mom Self Care to Your Already Crazy Schedule says:
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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
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Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
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I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

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