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By Meredith Ethington

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Why We Should Be Teaching Our Kids To Serve, And How It Can Make Us Happier

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Today’s society teaches that you need to look out for No. 1 (aka yourself); that doing so and pursuing activities you think, or the world tells you, are pleasurable will make you successful and happy. But as we’ve all seen and likely experienced first-hand, selfishness is the cause of most arguments, relationship issues and problems throughout the world.

The fastest way to feel good about yourself and better the world in the process is by serving others. And I’m not just saying that. Science does, too. So, as parents, it makes sense that we should be teaching our kids how to serve either by our example, or by showing them how to do it by getting them involved in helping others.

A study done by a psychologist found that the more people participated in meaningful activities, specifically giving and helping others, the happier they were and that they felt that their lives were more purposeful. Other studies have shown that serving others reduces depression and lengthens your lifespan. And a survey taken by the United Health Group of people who had volunteered during the past year showed that serving others provides numerous health benefits:

78% said it lowered stress levels
94% said it improved their mood
76% said they felt healthier.

So if the secret to real happiness and improved overall wellbeing is serving others, it seems logical that we should be teaching our kids to serve. How can we do that?

Make serving a priority.

When you look at your day’s schedule—work, exercising, running errands, driving kids to soccer practice and piano lesson and making dinner—it’s hard to fathom how you can even squeeze in just 10 minutes to help a neighbor let alone find 10 minutes of quiet “me” time. But, I’m a firm believer that we make time for what’s important. So while we’re all busy, we all have some time we can spare to help someone. You just have to make it a priority, like choosing to shovel your neighbor’s driveway instead of spending 15 minutes scrolling through your Facebook feed. And, make sure your kids see you serving, and that you find a way to get them involved, too.

Disconnect from technology every once in awhile.

Along with the abovementioned tip, you have to physically look for who needs your help in the real world. Technology and the Internet aren’t inherently bad; they allow us to talk to family and friends who live across the world. But, when you’re always watching YouTube videos or taking Snapchat selfies, you miss recognizing that someone in your family (maybe even your kids) could use help with something or that a friend stopped by because she really needs someone willing to listen and talk with her about this trial she’s going through. Regularly unplug from the digital world and choose to have more face-to-face time with people instead of your phone.

Choose to love.

Another way to help those around you is by simply loving them. God loves us, and He asks us to love our fellow man, which Galatians 5:13 tells us that, “by love serve one another.” Love and service don’t have to be some big, time-consuming ordeal, though. You can love and serve those around you by just smiling at a stranger, hugging a family member who’s struggling or complimenting a colleague on how good their presentation was. And, our kids will notice a helpful, loving parent and want to try to be the same way.

What do you think is the best way to teach our kids to serve others?


2 Comments

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Comments

  1. Marielle says

    March 24, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Teaching our kids to serve is the best thing we can do for them! I love the reminder to unplug…that frees up time and allows us to be there. Involving our kids in service helps them experience the benefits. Thanks for the great thoughts!

    Reply
  2. Jenny K says

    March 25, 2017 at 6:29 am

    Thank you for these words!
    Yesterday I dropped a meal off for a family who could use it and my son had all kinds of questions about why I would do that when we don’t even know the family. Then at night during family prayer, I prayed for my co-worker to be healed and healthy. Right away my son asked if he could make her a home made meal. It kind of stopped me in my tracks, because even though it seems obvious, I don’t always think about how closely they mimic and learn from us. Thank you for the encouraging message~ it was awesome to see it mirrored back in real life, on the same day I read it even!

    Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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