Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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A Real Mom’s Guide To Enjoying Mother’s Day

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First of all, Mother’s day is a scam. OK, not a multi-level marketing type scam, but a scam in that it’s really impossible for little people to celebrate and appreciate you in the way that you should be celebrated and appreciated. Yes, your husband should absolutely step up to the plate and make those littles appreciate you, but let’s be honest – sometimes husbands forget. Sometimes they are just not very thoughtful, and sometimes they just don’t see it as their job because well, “you’re not THEIR mom”

There probably won’t be tulips, macaroons, and bowties. There probably won’t even be brunch where someone doesn’t spill something. Someone might even need to poop right about the time you sit down to eat and the husband will be AWOL. In fact, your kids will probably look more like feral monkeys and end up in time out before 8 am. And, the homemade drawing of you by your three year old might inspire you to start that diet you’ve been meaning to start every Monday since 2007. Don’t fret my mom friends – you can still enjoy Mother’s day with this handy little guide.

So, here’s a handy guide to enjoying Mother’s Day when you’re a mom to littles (or bigs) because let’s face it – kids are self-centered little people.

Lower your expectations.

Wait. Whatever you’re imaging in your head right now, take it down one more notch. ONE MORE. OK, there. Now you’ve got it. Unless you’re still dreaming of a spa day, or a leisurely day in bed, then you need to lower a few more times. Mother’s day doesn’t have to be about some grand gesture. In fact, I used to think that if I didn’t have breakfast in bed, and an entire day off from my motherly duties, then it was a terrible day and every one didn’t appreciate me. Forget that nonsense. Just lower your expectations and you’ll be happier.

Make the magic happen yourself.

This year, I added a book and a CD to my amazon shopping cart and yelled from the other room before purchasing – “I’m about to order myself a book and a CD. Do you want this to be my mother’s day gift?” to my husband. He immediately jumped on the chance, because HELLO – easy. Tell them what you want. Or make it happen yourself.

Take the day off BEFORE Mother’s Day.

This is a genius idea that I had a few years ago. So much pressure is put on us to have the perfect day. Well, I make the perfect day happen myself on the Saturday before. I don’t have church, and Saturdays are a pretty chill day for us (if I skip out on the sports games). I sometimes get a pedicure, get a few hours to myself, and just try to re-focus, re-charge and have a me day. It makes Mother’s day pretty awesome because I’ve already had all the me-time I want the day before.

Realize that toddlers don’t give a crap.

Neither do tweens, or big kids, or sometimes husbands. Motherhood really is a thankless job. But, honestly – they may not give a crap on the day of Mother’s day, but they DO love you. They WILL learn to appreciate you (one day) and it IS all worth it. One Mother’s day, my whole family got the stomach bug. It’s really just another day, and it’s OK if it isn’t perfect. There are plenty of other ways that your kids show you that they love you the other 364 days of the year.

Find the beauty in the homemade junk.

That macaroni necklace is awesome, and so is the paper flower with all the things you child loves about you on it. So is the hideous ashtray, and the paper bag filled with a potted flower. All of those things represent a tiny portion of the day that your child took to think about you. Sure, his teacher made him do it, and maybe he was actually thinking about when he could play minecraft, but the point is this – let the homemade card be enough. Because I promise you, one day they won’t draw you with gigantic boobs, and you’ll feel sad about it.

If nothing else – remember this. It’s OK to have a good cry because they all forgot. It’s OK if they all forget. Yes, it sucks, yes it could be better, but they could also all come home with lice. It’s all about perspective my friends, and you’re a good mom. Remember that. And, trust me – your family, deep down knows it too. Even if they scream, “I HATE YOU.” by 10 A.M. because you made them turn off the iPad to have brunch with you.

Meredith Ethington is a writer and a mom to three, trying to help her kids understand sarcasm and her need for personal space. Meredith’s debut parenting book, Mom Life: Perfection Pending, provides an uplifting yet realistic look at all that is expected of moms in the 21st century and is now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at Absolute Love Publishing. She proudly writes for many of her favorite parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Babble, Momtastic, and on her own blog. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter where she loves to laugh at herself and admit that while parenting is the best thing ever, it’s also the hardest job on earth.

 

 


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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

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Meredith Ethington

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Night night! 😤 Night night! 😤
If you missed my last post about how raising teens If you missed my last post about how raising teens can wreck you mentally….wellll this is part of the reason why. So lonely! But we are in this together somehow. 😂 Make sure to check out my latest substack and grab a copy of my book —- The Mother Load!
NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid NEW ---> "When there are problems in these big kid years, it’s no longer really acceptable to call a friend and air the annoyances of the situation. At least not the specifics.

Sure, you can commiserate with a fellow parent about teenagers being the worst.

But, to be honest - they’re not the worst. They’re kind of amazing. But their problems make me tired to my core." 

Read the latest on my substack. I promise you'll relate. ❤️
So sweet. ❤️ Follow me @perfectpending and bet So sweet. ❤️
Follow me @perfectpending and better yet buy my book or subscribe to my substack to support me.
"I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wa "I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want same-ness anymore. I want messy. I want admissions that shit is hard and we don’t have it all together. I want to have a makeup free, messy bun in my sweats run in with a mom friend and not feel worried she’s checking out my un-groomed eyebrows.

I don’t want to try to give off this illusion that I’m control of my life any better than the next person. It’s a shitshow for all of us, and we continue to hide it for fear of what? Being human?"

Read the rest on my Substack. Link in profile.
WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I WHAT IF THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’LL EVER BE AND I MISS IT? What if I miss the best time of my life. What if it’s right this second?
What if it’s right now while I’m in finals week of grad school, and have a kid that’s sick? 
I already miss so much. The gummy smiles of babes without any teeth. The squeaky voices of 2 year olds. The babbling of a baby that’s just trying so hard to say mama. The grammar mistakes my kids make when they’re talking that I don’t have the heart to correct because I love it too much. 

I miss a lot about those younger years that have already slipped away. My youngest is sick, much like in this picture, but he is too big to snuggle in my arms now when he’s running a fever. 

Today I had the thought, what if this is it? What if this IS the happiest I’ll ever be?
For a moment, I lingered in that thought as I stood over my sink and did the dishes. I started to cry.
Am I missing it? AM I? I felt a tug that maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t relishing enough, and enjoying enough, and being present enough.
But, then I realized, it will never be ENOUGH. 

Read the rest in my substack ❤️
New year, same me. 😂 #mentalhealth #anxiety #de New year, same me. 😂
#mentalhealth #anxiety #depression
"I don't care" as I literally care about every sin "I don't care" as I literally care about every single thing.
I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of th I’ve got to admit - I’m kind of over all of this. *sweeps arm generally at planet earth*

Look, I’ve never been a half glass full kind of gal. I can ALWAYS find the negative in every situation. 

But, right now it’s easy to say that I’m over it. It being.....

The state of our economy. Social media. People being unemployed. People being racist and homophobic. The debate over politics. People judging people. ALLLLLL of it. 

Everything is crap right now. We joke about it a lot. We have to in order to survive. 

It’s the one millionth day of January but Spring feels so far away. 

I’m over these four damn walls that we call home. 

Yeah, I know. Even as I’m typing this it all sounds like a bunch of ungrateful whiney BS. I hear it. I don’t need you to point it out, Karen. 

But, my guess is you’re reading this right now and realizing you’re over it too. Whatever “it” is in your life.

Some days the world feels like total crap. Everything is a mess. Everything costs too much. For E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. 

Yes, even for you Karen. ➡️➡️ to keep reading.
Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mea Yes. Boundaries are healthy and good. And they mean someone loves you that much to communicate them! Love this wisdom from @wittyidiot
NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a NEW POST ----> "This is not a post about loss of a loved one. Or loss of a child. Those things are real, and they’re heart wrenching. And, this post is certainly not to compare that loss with the one I’m going to talk about.

But, the loss of yourself in motherhood is real. And It’s not talked about enough." 

Do you feel like you lost yourself in motherhood? How? I really want to know. 

Psss - I am in grad school to become a therapist, and am not ashamed to ask that you subscribe to my paid substack. I just lowered the cost to $36/year! That's like $4/month and you'll have access to all my previous posts, and some new weekly short posts to give you ideas to help with balancing motherhood and your own mental health. I'm learning a lot in school, and will only continue to do so, so subscribe and we'll support each other. ❤️
This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣 This memory made me laugh this morning. 🤣
Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon Saaaame. @womenwhorunwiththemoon
I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and I’m sorry are you really wearing doc martens and a dress with spaghetti straps and a Tshirt under it while you’re telling me I’m doing it wrong? 🤣 Life is wild. Teenagers are fun.
Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s th Found in my pediatricians office. 🤣 What’s the moral of the story friends? If you think your household is always sick - it’s because they probably are. Kids make everything more germ-y
Here’s what I do know 👇 No one knows what th Here’s what I do know 👇

No one knows what they’re doing. 
We all feel like imposters. 
Our kids love us anyway. 
We’re all going to be OK. 
You’ve got this (as much as any of us do) 😘

#momspiration #momlife #funnymoms #memtalhealth #parentinglife #parentingquotes
"By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to "By trying to be perfect, we're actually trying to avoid being human." 

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Parenthood has helped me quite a bit, but It's something I've battled my whole life. I still struggle occasionally, although it's gotten better. But, let's stop trying to avoid being human and instead embrace ourselves an in turn embrace the entire human race. ❤️ I'd love to hear how you embrace being imperfect. 

#perfecționism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #imperfect #perfectpending #themotherload #thementalload
Mood. Mood.
Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I Some of you wanted sources on my last reel where I said we only need to be getting it right 30% of the time for our kids to have secure attachments. Well I wrote a bit more about the concept of being the “good enough mother” a term coined in the 50’s by a researcher and pediatrician. Check it all out in my newest post. Link in profile.
It’s true! Researchers have found that as long a It’s true! Researchers have found that as long as you’re doing the repair after mistakes the other times - then 30% is enough! Sometimes I worry I’m not doing it right but I definitely know I’m doing it right 30% of the time! 
Probably a whole lot more to be honest. I bet you are too. #momlife #encouragement #momspiration
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