Perfection Pending

Stories of Perfectly Real Moms

  • My Books
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
    • Encouragement
    • Childhood
    • Humor
    • Parenting Memes
    • Friendship
    • Marriage
  • Kid Ideas
    • Recipes
    • Practical Tips
    • Babies & Toddlers
    • teens and tweens
    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
    • Anxiety
  • About
    • Favorite Posts
    • My Portfolio
    • Privacy & Disclosures

Motherhood Parenting Perfection

Becoming the “Good Enough” Mother

5 shares
  • Share
  • Tweet

I’ve always been what I considered a decent mother. Not a great one, and certainly not perfect. But, it’s only recently I’ve realized that I’m finally stepping into my own of becoming the “good enough” mother. 

I think it stems from my angst early on trying to balance the need to control everything, with perfectionism, and living up to impossible standards I had set for myself. 

I was going to do it all and be it all as a stay at home mom. 

Little did I know that motherhood would catapult me into a journey of letting go and also self discovery. 

I realized early on that solely changing diapers and breastfeeding around the clock led me into postpartum depression. I discovered the my anxiety as a young mom was crippling.

I discovered that I had OCD and frankly, I realized there was a lot about being a mother that I just didn’t like. 

It’s not popular to voice out loud that you don’t like being a mother. 

Granted, there are some days when I do love it, in fact. But I was surprised to find out that being a mother wasn’t the only thing I needed to feel like a complete human. 

Motherhood didn’t fulfill me like I thought it would. 

I was programmed to believe early on that motherhood was the pinnacle achievement I would reach in my life. 

Sure, I had other passions. I wanted to become a therapist, possibly a criminal psychologist. Graduate school was in my road map, and I certainly wasn’t sitting around waiting to find a husband.

But, when he came along, suddenly my goals shifted and I thought marriage, and four years later – motherhood, was the key to my happiness. 

Motherhood does bring me a lot of joy. 

There is no denying the fact that I have loved being a mom some days.

But, there’s also no denying the fact that there are aspects of motherhood that just didn’t suit me. 

It turns out I don’t like playing make believe that much with toddlers, and I loathe meal time in my house.

While other mothers seemingly find so much joy in making cute bento lunches, I trained mine early to fix their own food because it was a responsibility I was tired of having. 

Some moms even love getting on the floor and playing with their kids. 

I’m not one of those moms.

Some moms love the chaos of a house full of children, and the messiness of toys on the floor. I find zero comfort in chaos and messes. I find peace in quiet moments alone. 

The picture we usually have of the perfect mother isn’t one who desperately wants to be left alone. 

I realized early on it led to boredom and depression to be stuck in the house all day with little ones, and I craved an outlet. Luckily I found what I needed through writing and later starting a career out of my home.

But, there were many days where I wondered what was wrong with me.

Why wasn’t I a great mother? I swore before kids that I was going be the model mother. And yet, there were many days (and still are) that I look at motherhood as a chore, despite loving my children fiercely like all mothers do. 

It isn’t until recently that I realized that it was ok to be a “good enough” mother. 

What if we were radically proud of the fact that motherhood isn’t a passion for some women who choose to embark into it? That doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids, or care for them. It just means that it’s not the only thing that drives their passions and desires. 

It’s not the pinnacle of success in womanhood. 

What if we made it OK as a society to be a “good enough” mother instead of an exemplary one?

What if mothers didn’t have to live up to impossible standards of perfectly groomed children in trendy clothes with cute instagram captions as the norm? 

What if we didn’t compare ourselves to what another mom over on Pinterest did for her child’s birthday? 

What if we made it acceptable love our kids, take care of them, and call that “good enough” without all the extras that some people think defines a great mother – or even a perfect one? 

What if we made it acceptable to ourselves? 

I’ve learned that being a “good enough” mother brings me more peace than striving to be a perfect mother ever did. 

If I can let go of some of these crazy expectations I had for myself or the picture perfect image I had of the perfect mother, I have learned that I’m actually a better mom, maybe even a great one.

If I can be alone, I actually like my kids more.

If I can have an outlet that has nothing to do with mothering, I can look forward to my time with my kids more. 

If I can realize that being a “good enough” mother is exactly that – good enough. It’s not perfect. It’s not horrible. It’s just right. 

And, the truth is – that gives me peace. 

I can get caught up on the notion that being “good enough” is just mediocre and I can do better, but the truth is – maybe I’m not meant to be the best mother in the world. 

But, the truth is – being a “good enough” mother is just right for me. It’s a lie or a story I tell myself when I tell myself I can do better or I should do something more than I’m doing. 

Because my kids are well loved. They are well fed, and groomed, and entertained. They have friends and are given plenty of resources to succeed in life. They know I love them. They know they can come to me when they have hardships. 

And, what if we said radically – I’m a “good enough” mother. And that’s actually perfect for me. 


3 Comments

About The Author Card
« To The Mom With Anxiety That Feels Robbed By It
It’s OK To Be the Hero in Your Own Life Even If Others Don’t Approve »

Comments

  1. Angela says

    November 25, 2020 at 5:18 am

    I feel like I was exactly like this and still am. I just don’t consider myself a good enough mother. Toddler stage is not the only stage. Maybe we are perfect mothers, maybe this is how real perfect mothers are... Maybe we are just a better fit for the middle school years, or to be their friends. Toddlerhood is like playing dolls... its ok if is not our best time as moms, but motherhood last a lot of years. And what defined us is not the best meals o birthday parties on IG, but how they feel about us, how we love them and defend them, and make them strong for years ahead of them. Is how we make them feel happy, and secure, and loved.
    Reply
  2. Chay says

    November 25, 2020 at 7:14 am

    You speak my heart, always felt guilty about this but now know im not alone and its ok to be good enough and imperfectly perfect. Thank you thank you!
    Reply
  3. DEBOE7102 says

    January 1, 2021 at 10:48 am

    Thank you!!1
    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

My Book: Mom Life Perfection Pending

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

I feel this pain.⁣ ⁣ @bogartcreek I feel this pain.⁣
⁣
@bogartcreek
why do they do this 💔⁣ ⁣ @closetoclassy why do they do this 💔⁣
⁣
@closetoclassy
that middle child though. 😭 that middle child though. 😭
one small step at a time 😅 one small step at a time 😅
Load More... Follow on Instagram

You might also like

two girls in summer swimsuits

Your Mom Guilt Needs A Summer Break, Too

Little girl and her mother in kitchen giving high five. Mother and daughter in kitchen cooking. Positive language kids

What Is Positive Language? Here’s Why Using Positive Language with Kids Matters

mom with ponytail sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and knees up emetophobia

I’m A Mom with Emetophobia (The Fear Of Vomiting) And It Can Be Paralyzing

The BEST Heart Eyes Emoji Cookies Recipe

A woman taking a break outside at the end of the day, closing her eyes and taking a breath I never get a break from my child

I Never Get A Break From My Child, So How Can I Keep Going?

Copyright © 2022 · Perfection Pending · Designed by Krizzy Designs

Copyright © 2022 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

5 shares