Sometimes, I feel so very very small. And, I don’t mean in the physical sense. Because, we all know I love chocolate a little too much. And carbs.
But, lately, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’m a small fish in a big pond, and no one is ever going to notice little old me.
Or in other words, I’ve been having a pity party. But, it’s OK. Pity parties help me re-focus and rely on Someone that ALWAYS believes in me.
When I decided to switch my blog yet again, I felt like all the people in my personal life were rolling their eyes. After all, it is my 7th blog in 6 years. I think. There may be one in there I’m forgetting about. But, I was convinced that I had just as much talent as the blogger next door, and that I would be hugely successful. And, while I still do believe in the talent part, I’ve also gotten a big dose of reality. Blogging is hard. Blogging can be discouraging. Blogging is a LOT of work. Blogging takes oodles and oodles of time. Like, lots. People that don’t blog have no idea. And, that’s cool, you can keep rolling your eyes at me. And, I’ll probably keep blogging anyway. Because it’s what I do.
So, I’ve been compiling a list in my head of lies that I believed. Because when we have a dream, lies are bound to creep in. And, every blogger has some ultimate dream in mind. Whether it’s a few loyal followers that always stick by you no matter what, or a book deal and a blog that makes money, there is always a dream behind it. But, lies can squash dreams.
Here are a few lies that maybe a little blogger I know was falling into (I’m not pointing any fingers):
1. You can build a blog overnight and make money blogging. Now, my logical mind never believed this lie for a second, but my dreamer mind maybe thought it could happen. Self-hosted? Bam, I would have all control and have all the success.
2. If you don’t have overnight success, you are a sucky writer. Umm. Yeah. So, every blogger is probably guilty at some point at looking at those numbers and seeing them as directly correlated to their self-worth as a writer. This is just not true. I’ve seen big blogs where the writing absolutely sucks, and little ones where I could sit all day and read what they write. Making your writing about your numbers is like being a teenager obsessed with how many likes your selfie gets on Instagram. And deciding you are worth nothing if others don’t like you. It’s childish, and frankly, not good for your self-esteem.
3. If you write it, they will come. Yeah, I was killing myself publishing post after post after post everyday for almost the past year. And, while I did have something to say everyday (because, HELLO!? I can talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere, about anything) it wasn’t the right way to do it. I needed more time to stew to create quality content. And just writing everyday is not going to bring in the readers in droves. You do have to put in your time though. I’ve been blogging for 6 years, so I want it all to happen overnight now that I finally have a good vision. But, now I have to wait. Put in some hard work, and hope.
4. You have to do what everyone else is doing. Join writing groups, enter giveaways, comment on other blogs, host giveaways, do product reviews, write guest posts, let others write guest posts, etc. etc. There is no magic formula. You have to forget about that other blog over there that has 89,000 followers and focus on what you have. Do what feels good for you. You cannot do it all. Unless you have no life, and then maybe you can. But, even then I have my doubts.
5. I just want to write. SEO can’t matter that much. Wow. Can I tell you how much I HATE reading about tech-y things? Like, HATE it. But, it’s become a reality for me now. I’m forced to learn about SEO, and plugins, and how to prevent Spam comments, and how not to crash your site with one click of a button, HTML, and CODE in general. Gag me. It’s all so horrible, that I want to bang my head against the wall. But, it DOES matter. My blog is sitting here all pretty, with beautiful words on it, but there is like zero traffic. What do I do? Well, there are people that can help, first of all. But, second of all, you might have to learn something that you hate to be successful. I’m learning. Slowly. There are ways to get more followers like joining blog hops, and hosting giveaways, and joining writing groups, and following others hoping they’ll follow you. All of those things have helped me. But, sometimes, you need help. And, that’s OK too.
Blogging is fun, rewarding, and teaches me so much about myself. But, if I’m not careful, those lies will still creep in and ruin me. I’ve seen it happen to other bloggers. Once it gets hard, they give up. But, this tiny fish in the GIANT pond is going to just. keep. swimming!!
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I’m very happy you’re going to keep swimming because you do have things to write and lots of people want to read them! I cannot agree more with your list of 5, although my motives aren’t to make money or a book deal (at this point anyway!) only because I didn’t even know that was possible when I started a few months ago! I had never read a blog in my life a up until July, so I’m learning and growing every day, and yes, blown away with the time involved! Who knew it was a freakin’ part time job? Helllloooo! But, I have to say, I’ m 100% addicted. Like, can’t even imagine what I did with my time before. Oh yeah, I wrote a novel. That. Well, you know what I mean…..
Keep up the great work! XOXO
You wrote a novel??? What’s the name of it? That’s awesome! I’m addicted too, and definitely not going anywhere. Thanks for the support. So nice coming from you!!
Oh, it’s not published…yet. I recently got it back from my editor and am now working on some changes. Working hard. Trying to push this baby out, ya know? Feel like I’ve been pushing…a…really…long…time. lol.
Well, you have an editor!!! So, that’s amazing. 🙂
I hope you do keep writing, whatever the traffic; I enjoy reading your posts. I do find it hard to ignore the numbers myself sometimes; my regular reader stats are generally pitifully low. You write well though so no need to worry about that side of things..
I will keep writing!! I can’t help myself! 🙂
Well, we all have these doubts, but if we love what we’re doing, we should never stop. I love your writing style and wish you all the best!
Thank you!! Hope you’ll stop by again! 🙂
Girrrrrrl, preach. I’ve been a half-assed blogger for almost 5 years. I hate things like SEO. HATE. And while I’ve wondered what might happen if I put in both ass cheeks and really TRY at blogging, I just don’t have the time. Argh! Time! I need more time!
I know. Seriously. I work part-time from home and have 3 kids. It’s so hard to keep up with it all!!
I’ll keep coming. What’s your traffic like? I just started blogging, like 3 months into it. I don’t know what my traffic should look like.
Well, this blog is about the same age too. I was with wordpress.com before for about a year. Stats seem REALLY low since going self-hosted, like sometimes under 100 views/day. Anyway, I don’t know…just not enough time to keep up with it all! Thanks for coming by! 🙂
Agreed! Blogging does take time, people who don’t blog don’t get it at all! But that’s OK, I probably don’t understand their passion/hobby/job either. I like your list and I like your blog!
Thanks Stephanie! 🙂
I had zero expectations when I started blogging, except to make my friends laugh, so any success I have is a wonderful surprise. There are ups and downs, to be sure, but powering through the tough times is important for newer bloggers. I’m impressed you’ve been at this so long! And you’re right. Your blog is very pretty.
Ha! Thanks! Yeah, I started out in 2007 when every mom on the planet started a blog. I’ve morphed a lot of times, but I’m here to stay. I hope. 😉
I really was so unfamiliar with blogging at the start that I just wrote for my own sake not really knowing about followers. Then I learned and wanted lots of them but then realizing how many gazillions of bloggers there are, I tried to keep it real. At first I thought I should change my writing style to what people want to read which is humor…unfortunately I’m better at making people cry. Lol! Most important is to stay true to yourself, I’ve learned, regardless of how many people like or follow you. I’m paving my way in the writing world in other ways via freelance writing about topics I’m inspired by and working on a short story/may turn novel. While I’d love to go viral, I doubt it and I’m ok with it because I love the friends and open communication of blogging, it’s just fun!
What a great perspective! I agree. I have realized that those bloggers that have a million followers are also one in a million!
“Making your writing about your numbers is like being a teenager obsessed with how many likes your selfie gets on Instagram.”
Fantastic point and one I need to hear every so often.
I am one if those itty bitty bloggers. The one hundred visits a day you mention? Ha! Maybe a few of my posts have hit Pinterest here and there and hit 300-something. But mostly my stats reveal…well, a lot less visits per day. But that’s okay! I’d rather have a handful of loyal readers than a gazillion followers who are only following me because I am following them (I know not everyone does that, but it’s out there). I hate that game. I don’t play it. If I’m following you (which obviously I am) it’s because something about your blog really speaks to me and adds value to my life.
Oh, and I hear you on the techy thing, too. When I finally figured out how to make a blog button I was like, “yay for me! Look what I can do!” And two seconds later I was like, “I hated every second, I mean minute…DAY of that!” HATED IT.
Oh, how un-techy I am!
I loved this post of yours. I’m glad you keep at it. Just let those eye-rollers keep doing their thing while you keep growing as a writer/blogger…on this blog or the next!
You are awesome!
And WOW. This was one l-o-n-g comment!
Ha! I love the long comment. 🙂 Thanks for coming back, and for commenting…and being supportive!! 🙂
It sounded like I was ripping on the those who do the “follow me, I’ll follow you” thing. I wasn’t. It’s obviously a great networking tool, especially if you are building a business blog. Kudos to those who can do that.
I’ve honestly always believed blogging is what you make of it. The reality is (I’m actually going to have a post about this soon) is women/mommy bloggers/etc. have it harder because there are more doing the same type of thing. The big thing is how to define success. Is it thousands of hits? One or two or more comments? Friendships forged? It’s all relative.
I honestly never thought I’d make money on my blog, so I was never worried about that. In fact, people who told me I should try and make it my job have been told, many times, that not enough people care about my life for people to pay to advertise!
What I like to do is set small goals and work toward them. If I cross them off the list, I then feel that part is successful and I work to the next.
You have a good blog here. I hope you keep it up!
Thank you for saying that! Yes, I’ve blogged before about defining success. It TOTALLY is relative, and you have to keep things in perspective or you will totally feel like a failure. 🙂
Thanks you for an easy read that is great to hear from a new blogger. I’m gaining followers, but I sometime wonder why not more. Well, ya think cause I just got going a couple of months ago?? Thanks for the supportive post. Us newbies really appreciate these!
Aww. I’m so glad Helen!! 🙂 I love hearing that my advice helped someone. I still accidentally fall back into these every once in a while myself.
I love this: “pity parties help me re-focus and rely on Someone that ALWAYS believes in me.”
We all have doubts on this route. The trick is to channel those doubts to our creator who knows us, inside out and believes in us, no matter how we personally feel. Over time, I’ve realised feelings are fickle. They come and go. They change and swing. So, why don’t I just focus on the ONE who believes in me? Doing this has helped me through so much. And, like you said, I’m also sticking with this. It’s gonna work (on my own terms). I’m sure of that.
Thanks so much for saying what needs to be said about fake followers! Whew! How liberating!
And we do measure success by what we value. Some are very successful at being the teenage mentality among us. It’s so alluring, too. If no one likes you, isn’t that supposed to be a shame? (And yet, of WHOM is that true, that no one likes them? NO ONE! haha!)
I’ve heard several say that leaving wp.com sent their stats to the basement. Can you account for that? Do you feel self-hosting was a mistake? Just curious, there….
Well, thanks again, and just keeping blogging, blogging, blogging! 🙂
Yes, I did see a drop at first, but it’s been a while now, and I’m so happy I made the switch because the income I make from my blog is worth it!
Thank you so much for sharing your interesting experience and knowledge in this niche with beginners in blogging. It will be really interesting to read your article on blog monetization. Looking forward to new articles from you.