Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

  • My Books
    • The Mother Load
    • Mom Life: Perfection Pending – The Book
    • Free eBook: Sometimes Motherhood Sucks
    • How To Grow Your FB Following
  • Motherhood
    • Inspiration
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    • Parenting Memes
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    • Babies & Toddlers
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    • The Elementary School Years
  • Mental Health
    • Mental Health
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Blogging Encouragement Motherhood Parenting Perfection Writing

Can This Be The Year That We Are Done With Fake Influencers & Toxic Positivity?

Can This Be The Year That We Are Done With Fake Influencers & Toxic Positivity?

Blogging Writing

Dear Mommy Blogger, Thank You.

Dear Mommy Blogger, Thank You.

Blogging Writing

Getting Out of My Own Head. The Reasons I Write.

Getting Out of My Own Head. The Reasons I Write.

Blogging Childhood Me Writing

Tipsy Lit: I Write to Stop Time

Tipsy Lit: I Write to Stop Time

Gratitude Humor Learning Me Perfection Writing

2013 May Have Been the Best Ever. Even Though it Sucked.

2013 May Have Been the Best Ever. Even Though it Sucked.

Blogging Writing

Five Lies You Might Believe as a New Blogger

Five Lies You Might Believe as a New Blogger

Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

The Mother Load

Perfection Pending on Instagram

perfectpending

Mom • Author • Mental Health Therapist In Training
Grab my new book, The Mother Load, available now. 👇👇

Meredith Ethington
Definitely true for me. ❤️ Definitely true for me. ❤️
"I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the "I don’t believe a growth mindset is bad all the time, or even most of the time for that matter. I think you can have a growth mindset and not gaslight yourself into always looking on the bright side and saying everything terrible that happens in life is an opportunity for growth.

There has to be a middle ground."

Read my latest. Link in profile.
I agree. 😂 @chasemit I agree. 😂 @chasemit
"I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers t "I wonder sometimes if I'm two different mothers to them like I am to myself. 
If I'm being honest - sometimes I feel like I'm 15 different mothers.

I'm patient, loving, and kind. I'm creative and dull.

I'm happy and dancing in the kitchen one minute, and begging for a nap and to be left alone the next minute. 

Sometimes, I wonder if they'll remember the tears I had for no reason at all. Sitting on the couch feeling empty and sad. They come and give me hugs unsolicited as I cry. I am depressed and overwhelmed. I wonder if they will remember that version of me?"

I hope you'll read my latest. ❤️
Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this Here's what I know - I want my kids to learn this lesson too. 
Life is hard and we often make so many big decisions based on EMOTIONS. Instead we need to get curious about the why behind that emotion. Are we scared, sad, anxious, angry? Whatever it is - feeling and emotions are not "bad" or "good." In fact we control very little about them! 
So if we can learn to SLOW down when we feel them and get curious that's the first step to figuring out the why behind them. Then we move forward and act  AFTER we've felt. 
It's a lesson I'm still learning and hope my kids will learn a lot faster then me. 

If you like convos like these join me over on substack. 🙏

#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealthawareness #momlife #feelings #parentinglikewhoa
😂😂😂 It's me. 😂😂😂 It's me.
Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserpro Read my latest on Substack. 🥰 #peoplepleaserproblems #wallflowers #mentalhealth #growth #mindsetmatters
Yessss. So important. @banhass Yessss. So important. @banhass
Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇 "In 2018, Busin Let's talk friendship 👇👇👇
"In 2018, Business Insider published an article reporting that one study concluded that it took roughly 200 hours to make a close friend. Ouch.

And before you can consider someone even a casual friend? At least a 50 hour investment. YIKES.

Is it any wonder that making mom friends is so hard? Moms are busy. We’re exhausted. We’re overwhelmed. We have chores and jobs and responsibilities. Investing 200 hours into someone is, well, a lot.

Honestly at the end of a long day with kids, the last thing I want to do is invest time talking. I’ve talked all day. I just want silence.

But, it sounds like the return on our investment could come through in a big way (hello living longer and having a bitch buddy!) Those rewards are big if we can make the time and put in the effort.

Because close relationships have bigger rewards than casual ones."

Learn all about why making friends is important, why we all want them, and how it can actually lower our cortisol. Check out my latest on S U B S T A C K. :)
Here are three things everyone needs to know about Here are three things everyone needs to know about kindness that are important to your mental health. 

1. Kindness does not mean you don't have boundaries. So often we do things for the sake of being kind even when we don't want to. Kindness does not equal saying yes all the time. Learning to say no is like a muscle you need to exercise to get better at it. Saying no doesn't automatically mean you are unkind. 

2. Kindness doesn't look like self betrayal. Ever. If you do something that you don't want to do because you're afraid of exercising that saying no muscle - you'll end up struggling with your own mental health. Listen to your gut and trust when kindness feels meaningful to you and when it feels like an obligation. 

3. Kindness to yourself is just as important as any external kindness you are showing to the world. In fact - I would argue that it's the most important way to have balance and good mental health. 

"Be kind" is a mantra these days and it's a good one. But know what kindness is. It's when you're moved to do something for someone else but that doesn't mean you abandon yourself in the process. 

If anything - true kindness to others should help you feel more connected to yourself ❤️ 

#kindness #bekindtoyourself #mentalhealth #selfcare
Yup. 😂 Yup. 😂
I wrote the book! It’s on sale right now too. 😎
If you feel over-freaking-whelmed by parenting, your mental health is suffering and you find social media so NOT relatable because your parenting journey feels and looks WAAY messier - you need this book in your life. 😍 #themotherload #mentalhealthadvocate #thementalload #momlifebelike #anxietyanddepression #maternalmentalhealth
Ooof. This hit hard. Ooof. This hit hard.
"We are parenting in an age full of information th "We are parenting in an age full of information thrown at us on how to be the best parent.
We’re constantly told to do more with our kids. Educate faster and earlier. Get them in sports by three or they won’t make the team when they get to high school.

How could we possibly accomplish all that and NOT helicopter? Do preschoolers know how to research the best preschools and sign up for T-ball on their own all while making a free range chicken dinner (that you don’t heat up in a plastic container, btw)?

And, what about the worries we have of keeping them safe from school shootings, pornography, social media, and too much screen time?

I’m told not to take my child his homework when he forgets it, but I’m also told to make sure he has enough AP classes and good grades to get into a good college. 

I’m told not to let them roam freely outside because the world is a scary place and for sure someone could kidnap them, but I’m also told that kids today need more fresh air.

So, when exactly am I supposed to get housework done and my job done, too if I have to sit outside watching my kids ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk?

The demands on mothers today are confusing to say the least. We get mixed messages constantly.

The truth is — I’m stressed out.

I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, but I also don’t know how NOT to be and get everything done that parents today are expected to do." 

Read my latest on substack (link always in my profile)
Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. Being Sometimes breaking cycles looks like this. 
Being proud of calm days because you know you’re calming your kids’ nervous systems by being calm yourself. 
Hang in there mamas. We’re doing it. 
#cyclebreakers #calm #peacefulparenting #momlife #mentalhealth
Yesssss. Yesssss.
I’m allll about this power move at this stage of I’m allll about this power move at this stage of my life. People are having their own experience independent of me and are going to have their own assumptions, feelings, and actions about me. That’s just life. My advice? Just keep doing your thing and the people that know the real you and get to be in your safe space are the lucky ones. 
Make sure to check out my post from yesterday about self betrayal too in case you missed it. #selflove #selfvalidation #peaceofmind #safespace
"My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked "My pattern of self-betrayal has most often looked like ignoring my intuition or quieting my own voice.
For you, it might look like “being nice” even when you’re being walked all over. Even when you’re mad at yourself afterward. For someone else, it might look like conforming. This happens in situations like the time one of my kids participated in something she told me ahead of time she didn’t want to do and then she fell apart afterward.

What self-betrayal looks like can be different for everyone.

Sometimes it’s a conscious thing we do and other times it might be a subtle habit we do to keep others around us happier than we are ourselves because of a trauma response.

It could look like being the people pleaser, or the peacemaker because that’s the role we had to play in a volatile household growing up.

The cost of self-betrayal is high though.
The cost of self-betrayal is that we no longer belong to ourselves. And if we first don’t belong to ourselves, we certainly can’t truly belong anywhere else."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What self-betrayal means. I hope you'll read it. New post in my substack.
Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it ca Snow was falling this morning on my walk and it calmed my heart. B R E A T H E mamas.
This is something I’ve been working on this past This is something I’ve been working on this past year. It’s amazing to me how little I truly belonged to myself for so long. 
These things are not selfish. 
They are how you return home to yourself.
Swipe right to see what I’ve been working on and how you can start belonging to yourself again. 
Which one resonates? Which one do you struggle with?
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