I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t even wanted to. That’s the weird thing. I’ve been reflecting on a beautiful Christmas I spent with two of my siblings and nieces and nephews, and of course, I’ve been thinking a lot about 2013. The truth is, I’m probably going through my usual Post Family Visit Depression or PFVD as I like to call it.
I’ve been wanting to write about 2013, but haven’t known what to say. It would be so easy to say that it was the year from hell for me.
But, I realized after reading a FB status from a very inspirational, and positive friend that 2013 might just have been my best year ever. Even though it was the hardest.
Her status was this:
I hope that in 2014 , you become comfortable with everything not being exactly as you planned. I hope you also get comfortable with making mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
My wish for everyone I love, including myself – is to get more comfortable and flexible with making mistakes and taking risks. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it!!!!
If you knew this person, and what she’s been through, you’d be even more amazed. But, that aside, her status really made me think. 2013 was one of the most difficult years of my life in many ways. Does that mean it was maybe the best one?
Did I make mistakes? Yes.
Did I try something new? Yes.
Did I learn something? Oh yeah.
Did I live life? For sure!
Did I push myself? Definitely.
Did I change? Absolutely.
Was it hard? There are no words. Yes it was hard! So hard, that I think I blogged about it until my issues were beat to death. So hard that I cried a lot of tears. So hard that I questioned who I really was. So hard that I felt like giving up on something I dreamed of, and loved. So hard that I wanted to quit. So hard that I had to let go, and change. So hard that I had to learn that it is OK to be me. So hard that I did take risks, and had to let go of what others thought of me. So hard that I wanted to freeze. Stop. But, I didn’t. Instead, I’m pretty sure I became a better me.
And, you know what? I would dare say that 2013 may have been one of my hardest years because, I did have to learn to be uncomfortable, and grow, and change. But, that also means it was probably one of my best years too then doesn’t it?
So, instead of a post about why 2013 was hard on me, I will say good-bye and good riddance to 2013. I really want to say something a little less nice. You were hard, 2013. You were not easy. But, I have to thank you for the memories. Because, they will last a lifetime. I am forever changed by what you made me endure. 2013, I hate to admit it, but I do believe that you did make me stronger, better, and more willing to accept that it’s OK to be scared, make mistakes, and change. I guess that means you were one of my best years ever doesn’t it?
So, I guess we can still be friends. Just don’t say, “I told you so”. K?
And, 2014? I hope you don’t have as many lessons to teach me as 2013 did. But, if so, bring it.