I want to be famous. No wait. I don’t want to be famous.
I want to be a writer that people love and admire. No wait. I don’t want to do that either.
I’m so confused.
You see, I have discovered several things about my blog that make it so “real” that it might just be boring.
1- I don’t have a cool camera. Therefore, my pictures are usually blurry. Or have bad lighting. Or are washed out by the flash. AND- I frequently find a dirty mirror in the background, or a crayon scribble on the wall behind the subject (I mean stuffed animal) I am trying to take a picture of. It’s OK. I play it off as “keeping it real”.
2- I don’t do DIY tutorials. I really don’t do DIY anything. I have become that Mom that microwaves hot dogs. I did that for the first time this week. I kid you not. I call my sister, “How do you microwave a hotdog?” She replied in a tone that was like, “You seriously just called me for this?” and said flatly, “You poke holes in it with a fork and cook it for one minute and make sure it doesn’t explode.” OH OK! Now I know how. Wait, did I just do my first DIY tutorial? You’re welcome.
3- I Know nothing about fashion. I wish I did. I got a pedicure yesterday. And, before you think I’m one of those moms that thinks pedicures are a necessary part of life, let me just say, I have medical reasons for why it is necessary. I swear! You don’t want to see that. Moving on. So, at my pedicure, I picked up a magazine. Glamour. It was chocked full of how to be a man magnet (there was literally a picture of a model with a magnet attached to her back and men attached to said magnet) and other such nonsense. And, I looked at the pages of “What’s in” in fashion and realized I’m not doing too bad. I mean, who knew that I was supposed to wear overly baggy tops with my skin tight jeans as a trend? I just thought I needed to lose a little more of that “baby” weight. Yes, I put that in quotations on purpose. So what if I wear normal jeans and call them “skinny jeans”. I mean, they’re skin tight, so I’m counting it. And here’s my attempt at the messy bun on top of your head that I saw in the magazine last night:
To achieve lighting in this post, simply sit in a basement with bad track lighting. You’re welcome.
Doesn’t it look A-MAZ-ING??? I think so. I especially love my smeared make-up. And, the frizzies at my hair line. It’s all part of “the messy look” I was going for. Oh, and you don’t see the bun on the TOP of my head? Oops. And before I forget…what I’m wearing. My top is from Target. Take THAT Glamour!
4- I don’t have an amazingly heartwarming/heartbreaking story. I mean, I might. You never know. Things can take a turn for the better or worse at any moment. But, my story is pretty ordinary, and people need to die first before I can share it, because I’m too afraid of offending people around me sharing “my” story.
5- I don’t homeschool, do crafty things, or cook fancy meals. If you want to know how to make a laundry basket last that has a split down one side (tip-just keep using it anyway) I’m your woman. Or, if you want to hear me complain about public schooling but not really get involved to change anything, then yep, that’s me too. Or, if you are DYING for some recipes, I do have a few over here. But, that died off real quick when I realized how much work it is to type up recipes. And take step by step pictures. Nobody’s got time for that.
So there ya go. Some reasons why my blog is super awesome boring.
But, the other day, as I logged in to see what my stats, I saw that my normal 85 views for the day had skyrocketed to 400 in just a matter of a couple of hours. WHAAAAT? I did a double take and thought, “What the crap!?” My first thought was that I had somehow mysteriously logged into someone else’s stats. No wait, that’s not possible. Then, what? I do the same thing I do everyday. Write a post, share it on FB with my 59 followers, pin it to Pinterest where no one looks at it, and hope that if I write it, they will miraculously find me.
The thing is, when I figured out what caused the glitch, it made me a little depressed. You see, on Thursday, I shared someone else’s writing on my blog. Granted, it was hilarious. But, I had done my research. Several people had shared it on facebook, and SEVERAL more people had put it on their blogs. So, no biggie. I didn’t think anyone would care about it that much, except maybe my few loyal followers might get a chuckle. But, I guess no one had ever posted it to…..You guessed it. Pinterest. Anyone else see the irony there?
So, Thursday my blog got 613 views. Friday 994. And as I write this post, I currently have already gotten 824 views. Now, I know this is small potatoes to all you big time bloggers out there, but to little ole me, it felt huge. Into my mind flashed the fantasy of book deals, and podcasts, and TV appearances. Yeah, I’m looking at you Scary Mommy. I saw you on the Today show.
The depressing part? It was for a post that I didn’t even write.
So, yeah, my blog is pretty awesome.
Awesome…..
If it helps, I think your writing is hilarious judging from this post. And remember write for you. When you start to write for others- you’ve lost your way. It’s not boring- look at your theme- it just screams “Fun!” to me. 😀 Never give up. And who knows, some of those people may keep coming back and follow you. (I know I will be.)
Good luck!
Awww. Thanks!!! That was super nice. Full disclosure-I can complain and whine quite a bit. 🙂
You’ve got humour in bucket loads, and that’s going to count for a lot, especially when you realise that half the “don’ts” you have account for many very poor posts for others as their content. Loved the fun of this, smiling from about 11 words in and not stopping thereafter – great post!
Thanks!! So nice of you.
Pleasure – I’ve just discovered your site view the Reader and am going over it now…
click around a whole bunch and maybe you’ll get me to 1000 views today! 😉
No probs! A few extra from Australia coming up!
In order to avoid getting blurry pictures I am use other people’s or Google’s. So exciting that you got lots of views! Who cares how you got them?
way to be positive! I’m impressed. 😉
Don’t tell people. I might get a reputation for being nice.
Your secret is safe!
I’m so glad that I’m not the only non-DIYer out there. And we have tortellini with marinara sauce every night for dinner. And the most people who’ve ever read me is 43, so Ic annot even imagine 824! Congrats!
Do you want me to go to your blog and click a whole bunch? That’s my secret….half the clicks are probably mine 😉
ahahaha, that’s awesome! I haven’t even thought of that 😉 Though I’m still bloggy-anonymous to most of my friends, so I can’t pin or post to facebook since everything is linked these days!
yeah. Being anonymous I think would be awesome for lots of reasons. Which I can’t say here because I’m not anonymous.
P.S. I’m really interested in your non-homeschooling choice. So many women (especially women of faith) seem to go the homeschooling route. Ever care to write a blog post about your schooling choices?
Hmmm. Never thought there was much to say but maybe I will think about that one!
Five reasons your blog is awesome:
1. You
2. JD
3. Avery
4. Kyle
5. Sweet baby Chandler
aww. Love you friend!!
Well I don’t read every one of your posts because this blog sucks, you know?! I like your “real” pictures and the fact that you don’t normally edit them and that your house looks like kids live in it! Photos that can make a pile of shit look pretty are ridiculous. It’s a pile of shit!!! You be you and I for one will always enjoy reading, even when you’re being bitchy or whiny, Lol.
And I didn’t know you had to poke hot dogs before you nuked them! I’m glad I read this.
Glad I could help!! And thanks for being a loyal reader. sort of. Yes who knew you had to poke them before nuking!? When I read your post it seriously made me laugh because I had seriously just done that THAT day.
See? THAT is what makes your blog interesting. You’re normal, but there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re funny. And funny things happen to you, and you retell them in a way that makes me laugh, shake my head, and think oh my gosh, thank God someone else out there is weird like me. haha
Thanks! The feeling is mutual.
Let the record show I’ve been following you before you were famous! Don’t forget us little people ;).
Hahaha! Famous. Not even close!
Fame is fame, love, so take it where you can get it. That post may have gotten their attention but it’s up to you to keep it. Just be you. 🙂
I’m trying!!!
Well, silly, you can’t get a bunch of new people over to your blog and the next post be about how boring it is! 😉
Hahah! It’s fine cause they are all looking at that one post. Not much exploring going on!
I think your writing is excellently hilarious! 🙂
Your blog IS awesome. 🙂
Live this! I am new to the blog world and this is exactly how I feel! x
You did bring out a smile in this sunny afternoon here 🙂 I guess, that speaks a thing or two about your blog !
Am here for the first time, but will be coming around more often.
Cheerio !
PS- We all have great stories to tell- you probably do not know it yet 🙂
Maybe your blog should have a new subtitle that involves the word “help”. Then all the moms who are looking for help through blogs will be directed here. How about “Helping moms all over the world accept their lack of awesome.”
Thanks?
Your blog IS awesome!
And that’s all I have to say about that.
That’s a compliment coming from such an awesome blogger like you!
Wait, you poke holes in the hot dog first? Your blog is so informative. 😉
Well, you have another follower here! And I think your blog is pretty awesome! Your pageviews make mine look like small change…haha!
Thanks for following! Can’t wait to check out yours. 🙂
Hopping over from Crazy as Normal’s blog hop! Love this post – hilarious. You’re my kind of humor. Will be following you!
Thanks! 🙂
Hey! I am SO PLEASED to have found your blog – it is totally awesome and has brightened up my afternoon 🙂