Perfection Pending

By Meredith Ethington

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In the Motherhood

Food is Overrated. And Other Excuses To Stop Grocery Shopping.

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I went to four grocery stores in 3 days. What the heck is wrong with me?

And, seriously, going to the grocery store with my children is something that makes me want to go postal on people. Especially when the cashier asks, “How’s your day?” And, I want to yell, “I’m going on 4 hours sleep lady, my four year old has run into my ankles 15 times with his kid sized shopping cart, my toddler is obviously going to get strep or some other illness from this shopping cart that he insists on licking, and I am here for the 3rd time today because I just can’t seem to get my crap together!”

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A girl can dream right? I’m talking about the fact that grocery carts are getting washed in this picture. Get your mind out of the gutter. *photo courtesy of Morguefile.com Sorry, people, I couldn’t resist.

I make lists. I do. I plan meals. Promise. Yet, it never fails that I cannot remember everything I need for the week in one trip.

For example, this week, I did my major grocery shopping at store A. Then, realized I could only get 1% cottage cheese at store B so I planned a trip there for the next day. Then, store C (for Costco) had to come into play because I realized a lot of our paper items were almost gone. One roll of toilet paper lasts one day in this household. And, so I quickly thought of $120 worth of other things I “needed” at Costco in the process. The avocados weren’t ripe, so I thought, “I’ll just pop into store D on my way home and grab avocados” I made the mistake of thinking I could just carry the toddler, and then remembered 4 other things I needed as well. So, I’m trying to juggle carrying 3 things too many and keeping my toddler from smashing holes in the tomatoes. It’s exhausting. And, sure enough, that night, my husband says to me, “We’re out of such and such” and I just look at him with a glare that said, “You are evil” and simply said, “I’ve been to four stores the past three days, so that can wait until next week.”

Part of the problem is that all of these stores do not carry all of the brands I need. Like why can’t the place where I do my major grocery shopping carry 1% cottage cheese??!! They carry 4% and non-fat, and 2%. Is it too much to ask that they also carry 1%???

What really makes me the most angry is that I am spending way too much money and time on grocery shopping because I refuse to go to Wal-Mart. I just hate that place. With a passion. For me, it’s not about some moral stand I’m trying to make against Wal-Mart, but rather the sticky floors, creepy people, and general annoyingness of that place. OK, maybe that IS taking a stand against Wal-Mart. Like, why does it have to be so freaking big? I hate it. And, usually, by the time my grocery cart is full, my kids are having melt downs, and I am about to lose it, I look at the lines and there are 3 cashiers working and about 15 people standing in each of those 3 lines. It makes me want to cry or murder people. So, I avoid Wal-Mart like the plague.

And, it doesn’t help that I started a diet on Monday, so I’m eating an insane amount of carrots, cucumbers, bell peppers, and tomatoes. So, the usual supply I buy of those items got me through two days.

I really think the feeding tube diet doesn’t sound that bad anymore.

Anyone else have this problem or am I just being pissy because I haven’t had chocolate in 4 days?

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24 Comments

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Comments

  1. Carrie (@MildlyMedicated) says

    April 18, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    I am so with you! I have 4 kids and one is a halfhearted vegetarian, one is gluten free and the rest of us, well we all like something specific… and hot 3 stores plus a monthly trip to Sams Club. Its CRAZY!

    Reply
    • Carrie (@MildlyMedicated) says

      April 18, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      but I love food… tomorrow I go to the store…

      Reply
  2. jennpower says

    April 18, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    I thought I was the only one who hated Wal Mart! There’s a reason the stuff there is cheap: it’s tacky, and badly organized.

    Reply
  3. Michelle says

    April 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    I live at my grocery store. It’s my second home. I always forget something and it’s infuriating. The cashiers all know me now. And I only go to one, not 4!! Maybe it would be easier to just go with the 2% cottage cheese? Just a thought? Also, I saw Dr. Oz on Oprah once licking a dumpster to try and show people that it won’t kill them. My kids lick the carts too:(

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      April 18, 2013 at 7:44 pm

      Well inside or outside of the dumpster? The cottage cheese is just an example…one of many!

      Reply
  4. mkstump says

    April 18, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    I totally hear you. Unfortunately, I have to do a majority of my grocery shopping at “the dreaded WalMart” (as my mum calls it) because we live in a smallish town and there aren’t really many options. I think lots of people have the same problem, but I bet chocolate would help anyway. 🙂

    Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      April 18, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Yes for sure!!!

      Reply
  5. Amber Perea says

    April 18, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Hey soul sister from another mister. Mosey on over to my blog and read my post today.

    But ignore the wine part..DON’T JUDGE ME! 😉

    Reply
  6. keladelaide says

    April 18, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    I just don’t go. I send hubby.

    Reply
    • momonfire says

      April 18, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      Eat the chocolate and order your groceries from peapod or a similar service. I would trade sexual favors in order to stay out of the food store. TRUE STORY

      Reply
    • fakingpictureperfect says

      April 18, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      I wish!!!! He’s worse than me. He wants to go every day!

      Reply
  7. asmith864 says

    April 18, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    I’m with ya on being anti-Walmart! We’ve started shopping at Aldi and Family Dollar. And I’m totally proud of it because I haven’t been to Walmart in weeks! I’m with ya on how horrible it can be to shop with children. I only have one and have ended up at the cash register on the verge of tears and homicide. You’re not alone! 🙂

    Reply
  8. Ivy Smith says

    April 18, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    No… your not the only one! You just totally described every trouble I face. Not to sound insensitive but now I feel so much better knowing i’m not the only one who makes lists but still finds myself over budget back in the store again… and again… and again… and … oh forget it! lol. I too hate WalMart but Kevin insists on shopping there. Why?!!! Oh Meredith… thanks for posting this.

    Reply
    • Ivy Smith says

      April 18, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      Oh and PS I too started a diet. It really does suck trying to adjust the vegetables and fruits in the house. Suddenly after I eat the last banana, everyone is begging for one.

      Reply
  9. The Housewife Life♥ says

    April 19, 2013 at 4:22 am

    Love your blog! Take a look around mine, maybe something will spark your interest and you’ll follow me! Hope to hear from you soon!

    Reply
  10. Liz @ TheLambentLife says

    April 19, 2013 at 5:50 am

    After Em’s soccer practice, I needed to stop at Target (right by the field which is cruel, I tell you) for wipes and a wedge of parmesan cheese (which apparently our “real” grocery stores don’t sell). I left with a shopping cart that was FULL. Sure, it was all stuff that we need. But I didn’t need it with 2 small children running laps around the cart while I navigate the shaving cream aisle. I’m a glutton for punishment.

    Reply
    • Liz @ TheLambentLife says

      April 19, 2013 at 5:52 am

      Oh, and I forgot to get dog food. Which means I’ll be repeating the whole circus today.

      Reply
      • fakingpictureperfect says

        April 19, 2013 at 7:25 am

        Oh I know how that goes!! Target is great but it sucks me in every single time

        Reply

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Welcome! I’m Meredith.

Mom. Writer. Diet Coke connoisseur. Born and raised Texan. Lover of real talk and laughter with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

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