If you are a mom of boys, then you understand that living with them can be chaotic, to say the least. The day isn’t complete without something breaking or spilling or leaking — usually in a spot you just cleaned 3 seconds ago. And then of course there are the endless fistfights, wrestling matches, and injuries. Lots and lots of injuries.
Raising boys is exhausting, y’all. It really is.
Luckily, the moms of Twitter are keeping it real, as always, and helping us laugh at the literal chaos that is raising boys.
1. It’s really, really messy.
Spent the day cleaning my son's bedroom & now I'm looking for a support group.
Oh wait. Found it. It's called wine.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 11, 2017
2. And rowdy all the freaking time.
Wrestle until we get hurt. Cry. Resume wrestling until we get hurt. Cry. Wrestle again until we get hurt. Cry. Hey, wanna wrestle?
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) August 9, 2017
3. Sometimes things get thrown at you.
If you've never been used as a human shield in a nerf gun battle, are you even a boy mom?
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) January 8, 2018
4. But you learn to watch out.
When you're a mom of boys, you stop saying "no throwing in the house" & just learn to catch whatever is thrown your way.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 4, 2015
5. And they can be really sweet.
If a 6yo boy says he wants to "kiss your cute nose momma" understand that what he really means is "cup my mouth over it & do a smelly burp."
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 25, 2015
6. Did I say “sweet”? I meant “gross.”
My son is building a giant Lego house.
It has extra bathrooms in case someone gets diarrhea.
I appreciate that.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 6, 2017
To all the parents whose children have not yet learned to make "armpit farts," cherish this precious time, for it is a gift.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 16, 2017
Me: This is DISGUSTING! WHO PEED ON THE WALL?!
7yo: Not me. I only pee on the floor.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2016
9. Sharing a bathroom with them is not recommended.
— #Lifewithboys (@HTLifewithboys) May 19, 2017
10. But if you do, it’s best to come prepared.
How to clean your bathroom when you're a boy mom: 1) Douse the toilet with gasoline. 2) Light it on fire.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 7, 2016
11. And remind yourself, over and over again, how much you love them.
If you want to know what unconditional love looks like, potty train a little boy, and continue to do so until he goes to college.
— bottom of my purse (@Bottomofmypurse) January 22, 2018
12. There are other things, too.
At least 80% of raising boys is asking them to get their hands out of their pants.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) February 23, 2017
13. Things you don’t even expect.
If you like arguing about the acceptable time limit before changing underwear, you should definitely have boys.
— Why all these kids? (@whyallthesekids) October 23, 2016
13. On the bright side, there’s less laundry to do.
I'm glad I bought my son a cute summer wardrobe so he could wear the same Super Mario t shirt for 23 days in a row.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 6, 2017
14. And those appetites.
My son asked for pizza and wings for his birthday dinner, so apparently he's three going on frat boy.
— Tamara (@TamIWas) April 10, 2016
15. Serious question: Are boys ever full?
Research found that nine-year-old boys ask 144 questions per day. 140 of those times, they're asking for snacks.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 7, 2015
16. But they sure do love us.
My son: Mommy, I just can't believe how much I love you. Me? A puddle of mush.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) October 8, 2009
17. And we sure do love them!
The meaning of BOY: (1) the wildest of all animals; (2) a noise with dirt on it; (3) most precious to their mothers.
— Marichoi De Dios (@IamMchy) September 15, 2012
And all the amazing, disgusting, hilarious things they do.
Lauren Lodder earned her BA from UC Berkeley and her MA from CSUF. Before becoming a freelance writer, she taught writing and literature classes at the college level. You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter. Her work has appeared on HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Babble, Buzzfeed, The Mighty, among others.