How Finding a Good Friend is Like Thrift Store Shopping

So, I have this friend. And, today’s her birthday. I was thinking about her this morning in my usual guilt-ridden fashion, and was thinking about how I didn’t even send a card (she always does) and how I should have baked her something (even though she told me not to).

You see, this fellow Mama is someone that has become a very dear friend of mine. I’m a lucky girl to have some really great friends in my life. But, with all the moving I’ve done, it’s been hard to find a good friend that lives close. And, if opposites attract in friendships, we definitely fit into that category.

You see, she’s Jewish, and I’m Mormon.

She runs like 5 marathons a week (although never brags about it), and I run to the store to get chocolate when I’m out.

She’s from Jersey originally and I’m from Texas.

She wakes up at 4:30 am to work out, while I wake up at 5 am to pee.

She drops everything to babysit your kid for you, even when they have a cold, and doesn’t judge when her kid gets sick two days later. Even though, she KNOWS I’m a germaphobe and may not do the same for her. (Although I might make an exception for her because she’s that good to me).

She’s laid back about a lot of stuff, and therefore laughs at my neurosis a lot. But, in a way that makes me feel like I can be myself, but maybe I could get the crazy under control too.

We met at the park one day shortly after she had just moved to this foreign land of Utah. We chatted while our kids played and we probably complained about how we hated pushing our kids on the swings….or something like that. I don’t really remember the conversation, but I instantly thought she was awesome. She was honest, and not afraid to complain from time to time about motherhood, and we could both roll our eyes at the same things our kids did that drove us to the brink of insanity. So, of course, we’ve been friends ever since.

This friend gets me. And, that is amazing. She complains when I DON’T write a blog post one day because she’s probably the only person in the world that reads every single one of my posts. How could I not love her?

On MY birthday, she made me these when I casually mentioned on FB that I really wanted some:

Yep. Those are the amazing cookie dough pretzel bites that she made. Recipe here. She doesn’t even like to cook!

But, one of the best things I’ve realized about becoming a Mom is that there are tons of Moms out there that can relate to you. I’ve seen that through blogging. We could all be friends if we wanted. We just don’t realize it. Because we all have one thing in common. Motherhood.

You see, even someone that is your opposite can turn out to be your biggest ally. The one that you can relate to the most. The one that can roll her eyes with you, or can understand a sarcastic blog post every. single. time. or the one that you can text when you want to complain and she won’t judge.

But, I think so many of us are afraid of the unknown. We’re afraid of judgment. We’re definitely afraid of reaching out at the park to someone we just met and saying, “Can I have your phone number? Let’s hang out sometime.” We’re afraid of rejection, or we think to ourselves, “that perfectly dolled up Mom at the park wouldn’t want to be friends with frumpy, not-put-together me.”

But, maybe she would. You never know.

And we all have this thing in common that we can all relate to. Maybe not every mom can relate to your version of motherhood the way you want her to. Shopping for a good mom friend is kind of like thrift store shopping. You have to dig. You have to be in the mood. And, you have to weed through a lot of non-quality friendships before you get to the right one. But, when you do, it’s like finding a treasure!

To my friend Rayna: Happy Birthday! Glad I get to be your friend. I consider myself lucky every day for that fact. If you change your mind on the baked goods, I’d be glad to bring some by. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend.

And wouldn’t it be awesome if that picture above was of us? Uninterrupted time to talk on a bench looking out at the ocean? We can dream, right?