My two year old walked up to me while I was at the computer and laid his head on my arm. I looked down at him. He looked up and smiled. I looked back at my screen. He looked up at me again. I looked at him. He smiled.
Then I stopped what I was doing. I’m a fast learner like that.
I looked at him for a long time. He stared back. A smile crept onto his face and then he burst into a fit of giggles and then ran away. He had gotten what he needed. Reassurance that mom saw him. I did.
The other day, I commented to my 7-year-old that she seemed so happy lately. I asked her why. She just shrugged her shoulders and continued running around doing happy things.
I knew why, though.
I’ve been trying hard. To let go. Slow down. Breathe in the little people that they are right now. Push them on the swing when they ask even though my mind is racing with things to do. Spend time with them. Real time. Doing what they want to do like play monopoly, and do the homework assignment that requires adult interaction. Read an extra page in a book with them at night even when my bones ache to lay down, and have some silence. Alone.
Yesterday, I couldn’t hear myself think, though. So, here’s a shocker…I’m not perfect. Their noise, although it was happy, was exhausting. I just needed silence. Craved it. It’s hard to explain, but the constant pleas, chatter, giggles, playing and all the kid noise sometimes overwhelms me by the end of the day. I just wanted quiet. I forget what that feels like midday. Then at 8:30 when they were all tucked in their beds, and my husband wasn’t home, I got it. I drank it in like a cold, thick, homemade milkshake in a stainless still cup that you never want to end. Eventually, I got my fill, and felt like I could hear some noise again.
The days do feel like weeks because the enormity and mundanity of what we are doing, raising little people, is enough to swallow you up. But, I’m finding that it’s in the slowing down where I feel like I can do everything that is required of me. Not be perfect. No, that’s not what’s required. At least I hope not. No, I’m talking about what is REALLY required of me. Being their mom and enjoying the journey.
As odd as it sounds, it’s when I spend more time with them that I feel at peace when I send them all to their rooms so I can have a moment.
It’s when I take the time to read that extra page, that I’m totally OK saying no another time.
It’s when I’m running a million different directions trying to accomplish way too much at once that I feel the guilt from saying no. The sadness from not seeing them. REALLY seeing them takes effort and time. Peekaboo. I see you.
Yes, I want to say yes as much as possible, but that’s crazy-stupid to totally sacrifice yourself entirely for the needs of someone else. Even if it’s a two-year-old with ridiculously cute face expressions that make you melt and want to lay in bed all day just staring at him.
I’m finding that the secret sauce to feeling happy is s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. I knew this of course, but the race is addicting. I have SO much I want to accomplish in any given day, that it’s hard to just be still. Be in the moment. Live this little life in our little house with the people that are the most precious little people in the entire world. But, there’s this: 
*If you like this printable I made, go here to print it.
Yes. There’s that. But, when I think of our Heavenly Father, He never gets swept away with distractions does He? If I were leaning my little head on His arm, looking up expectantly, He would give. Every. Single. Time. He would look at me and see me. Peekaboo. I see you. He wouldn’t rush on to the next thing grabbing His attention. Because if anyone has a lot of things and people begging for attention, it’s Him. No. He would listen wouldn’t He? Every. Single. Time.
But, I’m not aiming for perfection here. I’m instead trying to Be Still. Trust. Believe. And, make tiny changes that have results that are bringing me peace. It’s working. I’m finding joy in the mundane again. And the secret is easy. Peekaboo. I See you. is all we really want to hear.
He sees. And, so do I.
I hear you! It’s so hard to remember to take time to give the gift of time to those who need it. Thank you for the reminder that we’re supposed to love like our heavenly Father–and he gives his love unconditionally in the language we need to hear it.
Enjoy the little things because ultimately those little things are what matters most. You’re right on slowing down and taking a breather. There are times when I crave silence, but those moments usually don’t last very long; I found out that prolonged silence usually means something is brewing!
ha. so true.
I so needed this today. Due to a screaming, teething boy. we’ve all been waking up too early. We are all a little bit cranky, so it’s nice to be reminded that taking it slow and saying yes (or no) has its time and place. Off to reading time!
Glad to help!! 🙂
So beautiful and so true – I go at 150 MPH all the time and when I’m with my son just sitting with him in his room while he plays video games or reads and I am on my laptop – we both get personal time but together and he likes that. It’s the little things and the simple moments. Have a great one Meredith! -Iva
You too! Thanks for stoping by!
Great post! I totally agree with what you said about not feeling guilty taking time for yourself when you have put in the quality time. It is so funny that you said that about the noise too. For the last 2 days, the kid noise whining, happy and otherwise has been DRIVING ME NUTS! I feel bad when I snao at them to lower it a few decibels when they are only giggling and squealing, but sometimes it si like nails on a chalkboard – even if it is cute ones.
Ok..thank you for saying that! That’s where I was yesterday. They were so happy and giggling, and wrestling, but it was all driving me nuts!! Glad I’m not the only one.
oh Meredith! I absolutely adore your writing, your message, your voice. Thank you for blessing me with this beautiful post. YES to it all!! You speak my heart…
You are so sweet! Thank you. I love to hear that!
Yes!! It is so hard to slow down. So hard. It truly is in those mundane moments that we find the most peace and connection though.
I love that quote – I’d never heard it before.
Wonderful post! Completely agree – focussing on enjoying the time in the moment with your kids and being present – rather than stressing and feeling sometimes overwhelmed by the whole task of raising/caring for kids is where a lot of the joy comes from at this stage of life ( for me, at any rate). I need to remind myself of this too (on the longer days).
I have been by your blog many times here and there. I have begun to slow down & decide on a few to follow at a time. I get overwhelmed easily… However, I have been working soooo hard for the last year and more, diligently, to S LO w d o w n! You got my attention, had me listening, and relating to your words. That’s so important for me to know I’m not the only one who needs to slow down. Thank you for top sharing so honestly. I have subscribed by email and look forward to reading more. Thank you for this printable. It will work as a great reminder for me 😀 and. I hope for many others!
What an amazing comment! Jeanine, you made my day! It’s so hard to remember to slow down. But, there is so much more peace I am finding that comes from it. Day by day though. I’m definitely not perfect at it.
Great post! I also need to slow down and enjoy the little people in my house. Everyday feels like a rat race and there is no end in sight. This post was a great reminder that we can take the time to slow it down and suck in those moments that matter. I totally get what you are saying about the noise and how you crave silence. We have a quiet hour in our house and it has made a world of difference for all of us. Just a few moments to be still and think.
Yes, we have quiet time too, but I have a job that I do during that time, so there is no relaxing for me! But, it is still nice to be able to hear myself think.