I have something that is weighing heavy on my heart today about this blog. But, in an effort to not always write about something depressing, or that makes me angry, or that makes me feel robbed, I am going to keep it light today. Because, the sun is shining, and my kids are all healthy for the moment, and life is good. I’m just pushing out the negative today.
Onto some humor…..
Have you ever wondered about the search engine terms that bring people to your blog? Since I really started looking at them about 2 months ago, I’ve been both entertained and disturbed. And, mostly I’ve realized that the majority of people that are searching for things on google are stupid. (I’m just now realizing that some people reading this may have entered these search terms and I may be offending, but going ahead with the post anyway…because, I’m on a roll these days with making people feel uncomfortable by my blog)
K. So, here are my favorites from the past 2 months (the typos are theirs, not mine):
faking my mom – My guess is a teenager that is trying to get away with something. At least let’s hope it’s something that innocent.
on kids-just have them- Um. If they were looking for encouragement to “just have kids” and found my blog, my guess is they may have changed their mind.
“scratch her back”- Hmmm…I guess they didn’t want to really scratch her back because they put it in quotes? Someone searching for this just makes me wonder…..
doog faking mom photo- Your guess is as good as mine on this one
keep faking love images – Whoever you are. Don’t come back to my blog again, please? We are not that kind of site.
pedicure ticklish- I’m pretty sure that you belong in the previously mentioned category
daddy learn me to suck- ewwwwwww.
stay at home mom my husband hates me- Yikes. Might I suggest marriage counseling? And, WHY did this come to MY blog? Although, I may just say my husband hates me a little too much. But, I promise. He loves me. He really does.
is one thousand gifts ok for a mormon- Yes, you can give me 1,000 gifts, anytime. I promise. It IS OK.
a little crasy all my life i have good- OK. Good to know. Whatever that is supposed to mean.
battle of the sexes please end- Yes. I agree with you. Please end.
I get a lot of variations on faking. As you can see, some of them sound a little disturbing to me. A lot of people that google various forms of “I am not a housewife” (anti-housewives unite!) and a lot of people have strollers broken on southwest. Good to know.
I don’t know about you, but I almost wish this feature wasn’t on my blog stats. It freaks me out. But, I can’t look away either. And, how does google images know when I post a picture of my kids sledding? The internet is C-R-E-E-P-Y. I obviously know nothing about SEO and all that, but I think it’s time to start learning. If I keep reading these, I may not be able to sleep at night.
Now, I know some of you have gotten even crazier ones than those….if you share here, keep it clean people. We are not that kind of site.
And, just because I like photos with my posts, here’s one to make you laugh. My cat, who I have a long history with, got what was coming to her recently. Aren’t we awful? This lion cut is seriously horrible. I had no idea. Sorry Val, and never again. Promise.
A second picture just in case you thought the first one wasn’t that bad. It is.
SEO picks up on the patterns of the things we write and the tags in the post. I could go into a long boring monologue about metadata and spiders, but suffice to say there are some weird people out there.
Indeed. And, my very right brain cannot handle stuff like that, so I’m glad there are people like you out there that understand it!
Wow. Those are some real winners. A standard one I get is “boys peeing.” Yuck.
ha! Gross.
Haha, then I won’t share some that I’ve seen since you’re not that kind of sight…you mean fun?? Pffffffft!!!
you can share as long as it’s not pornographic!! Or, has the F word in it.
I can’t say fart? What about coitus? I have a lot of coitus inquiries and some involving whether it’s ok to swallow Astroglide. Do you think their kids did so or do you think their hookers woke up concerned after realizing what they did? Wait, can I say hookers? Most of mine are about that connecticut shooting. I feel ashamed that I even tried to write about that now that I see what my blog has become…
ha! I wrote about it too. It affected all of us I guess.
If you think it’s been bad up to this point, wait until you start getting the “shaved cat” related inquiries…lol!
I’ve gotten some good ones but those are just strange. My favorite to date was “Word press Amber Perea”.
So, I promptly called my husband and told him to quit stalking my blog.
‘Cause I’m psychic, that’s how I know. 😉
Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of faking picture perfect mom or stuff similar. Maybe it’s MY husband?? 😉
Ahhahaha! Ah, those pictures are awesome. And yes, I got really creeped out a few months ago when I saw a search term and was convinced everyone reading my blog was a pedophile. I’m sort of paranoid.
Me too!!! And sadly there probably are some of those!!
I’ve had people end up on my blog due to weird search terms as well! 🙂
I’m still so new to blogging….but this is seriously creepy. Wow! There are some strange people out there….I’m afraid to look at my analytics. Love the picture of you cat! It put a smile on my face….
You’ve had some doozies! I had to laugh at “is 1,000 gifts enough to give a mormon?” I’m with ya! Get all the gifts you can! 🙂
Haha! I know! So funny.
Lol I am right there withyou! I have had some weird ones too eg.
poem santa please give me my child back – (I didn’t know Santa stole children??)
Hahaha
Ha!! Makes you wonder…
Laughing feels so good after the day I’ve had. Thanks for the humor, and pics of your poor cat. 🙂
I’m so glad I read this. Best post I’ve read all day!!! People are certifiably CRAZY!!! “Daddy learn me to suck”??? Really? Who would even… never mind. I can’t even finish that thought.
Yes. It’s disturbing. I could write posts like this about once week because I seriously never get tired of looking at all this crazy stuff people are looking for!! I should make it a tradition to add the best search term entered on my blog at the end of each post….Hmm. I think I might!
You should definitely do that! Only an hour or so after I posted mine, a new one popped up that definitely would have been on my post: “i love being white”
Oh my…
hahaha! Hilarious. But, it also makes you question, why did that come to YOUR blog? Weird. So funny.
Reblogged this on Search Engine Term Fail.
WEIRDOS!!! ‘is one thousand gifts ok for a mormon’ is my favorite. What are people LOOKING for when they search for this stuff?