I saw a superwoman jogging as I was going to the grocery store one day when I was a tired mom in the trenches. My first thought, I do not lie, was, “Someday I’ll be able to do that. You know, when my kids decide to sleep through the night.”
Then, on the way home from the grocery store, I saw another woman exercising. It was like someone was trying to tell me I shouldn’t have skipped my walk this morning.
From a distance I could tell she had her giant stroller, and a dog.
When I got closer, I realized that she had 3 kids crammed in that stroller made for two, was pushing them up a pretty decent sized hill, and also was trying to control her dog.
I smiled to myself as I passed her, and thought, “Good for you, lady. You are a superwoman.”
It reminded me of a time I was leaving the gym and a woman rode up on her bike with a baby strapped to her back, 2 kids being pulled behind her bike in a trailer, and a 4th was also trying to keep up on her own bike. I remember thinking the same thing of that woman. She was my hero.
Did I mention she was doing all of that while on her way to the gym? Geez, way to outdo us all, lady.
But, the truth is, I don’t know anything about these three women, besides the fact that they were all exercising, which is a trait I obviously admire.
But, in all seriousness, they could have just been having a good day when I saw them.
Maybe it was the first time they had been able to get out and exercise in weeks. Who knows. We never really know what is going on behind the little snippets of life we see in a mother’s day.
My sister shared a FB status one day that quoted an Alicia Keys Song.
“Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman”
She went on to write in her status, “Like many nights, I’m going to bed without anyone even knowing half the battles I fought today. The lyrics of this song came to mind. Moms all over the world know what I’m talking about.”
I did. I definitely still do.
The truth is, we don’t see half the battles another person is fighting.
To me, a superwoman is one that has a baby strapped to her chest and is biking to the gym with 3 others in tow. But, in reality, a superwoman is any mom. Anywhere.
I feel most days like my sister does. That most of my struggles are internal.
No one sees the superhuman strength I used to not yell at my kids one day.
No one sees how I got panicky about something, and re-centered myself and got past it.
No one sees the patience I use with a child that is pushing all the buttons.
No one sees the lesson I teach in the moment when I could just say, “Stop it!” without explanation.
No one sees the fights I break up between kids, and the way I help them learn about compromise.
So, it can feel frustrating when you lay down in bed at night and re-play the day in your head. It can feel like it didn’t matter, at all. And, it can feel like you were a mess the whole time.
But, you weren’t. You put on your vest with an “s” and you were a superwoman.
And, those are just my struggles.
I can’t see the battles that other Moms are fighting, but I know they are there. Because we all have battles. Sometimes, the quiet battles that no one sees are the hardest.
It’s easy to see that other moms have super powers. But, do we see our own?
We should. Because, when you’re a mom, everyday you put on that vest with an “s” and fight a battle of some kind. Sometimes that battle is keeping your head held high when others are judging you, or criticizing you.
Sometimes that battle is figuring out the food allergies your child has, or raising a special needs child.
Sometimes, the battle is just getting out of bed. Sometimes the battle is a wayward child, or a spirited one. We all have a battle. Every single one of us.
Sometimes the battle is just realizing you are that superwoman.
So, today, like so many others, I’m going to put on my vest with an “s” and be proud of the superpowers I used today. Even if no one else sees them.
Get your ass to the gym! Jog there in fact!
oh shut up!
Reblogged this on jazminemason07 and commented:
HaHa.. Well I Bike Train Soo!?
You nailed it. Being a mother is so lovely and so poxy. It is a joy and a disaster all in the one moment. The day you give birth you find something new in yourself. That amazing love you feel for your new arrival, but you also lose a part of yourself, and it can be quite some time before we find it again! Every day is different but when they are small many days are so similar. Would I ever want to change it though …. No overall I thing it is a privilege. I am moving on to a different time in motherhood and believe it or not I miss the early days!
Thanks for the perspective!
Speaks to the heart. Thank you.
You’re welcome!
The world may not see your “S” powers but the ones that matter most do see. Your kids. They may be young now and don’t fully appreciate it but they grow up it they will cherish it.
Yes!! So true!
Reblogged this on the okayest mom and commented:
If you have children, please take a moment to read this!
I reblogged this business! This is spot on. Thank you!
Thank you! 🙂 you are too nice, but I’ll take it!
I basically just appreciate being told I have super powers. I will automatically reblog any such posts.
Haha! Perfect!
YES, all of those internal struggles that nobody sees!! Great post, as always!
Thanks!
I used to jog when I was little.
Thank you for the reminder that even if you are just getting to the grocery store in a spit-up covered backwards t-shirt, you are still a superwoman.
Yes!
I’m glad I inspire so many blog posts. 😉 I don’t think I ever told you that the Sunday after I posted that FB status was when that “Invisible mother” essay was read in church. I then got a text from a friend at church who said:
“I hope you were inspired by today’s talk! When I saw your FB post, I prayed that you would feel SEEN and appreciated and that your struggles as a mother would not go unnoticed. I feel like today was an answer to that prayer!”
How awesome is that???
That IS awesome. Did you see how many times this was liked on FB? A lot. You are definitely inspiring. Love you.
I definitely needed to hear this today. It’s too easy to see all the great things other moms do, without seeing your own victories. Thanks for writing this.
I think comparison can be a killer–a killer of self-esteem and the value you bring to the world. That woman headed to the gym may be a disaster at home–you just don’t know.. Focusing on what’s wrong with you and your life when you see someone doing something well (going to the gym) doesn’t enhance your life. Thinking about it like, “Well, good for her! I wonder how I can incorporate some exercise in my life too..” is a lot more empowering and positive.. My biggest battle regarding parenthood occurred after I got a divorce and got remarried. I didn’t realize that children could be manipulated by an ex to turn against the other parent–I didn’t think that could happen to me (it’s called Parental Alienation). Being a stay-at-home mother for 14 years, having the “rug pulled out from under me,” then after that–having kids turn against you–it isn’t fair to them to be used that way and it certainly provided even more loss in my life. I don’t blame my kids, though. Anyway, regaining peace in my heart and forgiveness, along with growing in my belief that I am a good mother despite what others think (my ex, my kids)–I have had these challenges in my life for a reason–focusing on the hurt does nothing but perpetuate it. Focusing on the positive and the lessons I can take away from it–that’s what’s important. That’s what’s life-enhancing, not life-distracting. We all have our battles/challenges — even that woman at the gym. It’s how we handle them that makes a difference in our lives, and ultimately in our children’s lives.
So amazingly true! I think we see our struggles as less than others because we are so used to them. To an outsider we look amazing, but to ourselves we just look normal.
I am glad that someone is keeping track and applauding me for my efforts as a mother, wife, employee, etc. I always say, “I am every woman!” It is refreshing to read somethings that I can relate to as I would feel guilty if I decided to sit on the couch and not fold the clothes! LOL 🙂 Thanks, Sis!
Yulunda @http://www.YImWriteous.com
Glad you could relate! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
What a refreshing post! I loved it. Thanks for this!
Tonya
I love this. It’s definitely hard sometimes when it seems like no one notices everything we go through. As the mom of 2 kids (3 and 1) in diapers, I can attest to that. My mom always seems completely amazed every time she sees me toting the kids by myself. I was an only child raised mostly by my dad so my ability to handle the two babies impresses her, I think. As women, we need to know how amazing we really are and be proud of ourselves for channeling our God-given talents. 🙂
Exactly! Thanks for stopping by!
Thank you! Amen. Saw you featured on SITS today and made it a good reminder to visit! Love this post. We all could be a little kinder and more gentle with ourselves. Plus, I hate jogging! 🙂
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post! I’m not a mom but I can still relate to playing the comparison game with fitness, jobs, rings, etc. Great reminder that comparison is the thief of joy!
Jogging? You mean like for your health and good looks? Not something for your children? I have forgotten what it is to be strict to my jogging resolutions, I stopped making them. But this is not the point, you are the superwoman!
I love this post, especially the funny quote about the jogging trail. Visiting from SITS. Congrats on being featured! Stacie xo
Thank you! Thanks for stopping by too! 🙂
Loved it and it’s so true too! I hate it when people give me that look, the one that says ‘a SAHM? So you sit around at home al day basically’. No one has the right to judge what I do or don’t do as a housewife and SAHM, it’s harder than it looks and we all have our one battles to fight. Just because you can’t see the superwoman vest doesn’t mean its not there :p
Visiting from SITS 🙂
Great comment! I totally agree!
Oh yes yes yes!!! It’s SO hard to not compare and feel defeated… but we ALL ARE SUPERWOMEN in our own right!! Every single mom is faced with battles of every kind every day…
This is just such a great post Meredith. Thank you for this!
I love that song so much, and love this post, too. I’ve been repeating as sort of a mantra lately that quote about everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind. Such great wisdom. 🙂
Even though I’m reading this as part of our blog sharing exchange, i’m so glad I did because I really needed it today! The struggles nobody sees are really sighing me down and I need to remember that I have strength that nobody sees – sometimes even me! Thanks!